A New Love

Dawn broke over the metallic horizon. Glimmering, shiny landscapes as far as the eye can see. For all intents and purposes, our city was paradise after the apocalypse. I looked out my apartment window staring at the endless beauty across the horizon. My mind and eyes were focused on our piece of Eden we had in a dying world… my heart however was bleeding. A small silver locket in a shape of a stylized heart from the old world sat in my hand. I tried ridding her of my mind, but my heart prevented it from happening...

Lana was different from others. She was beautiful like many, but there was something more to her than the typical lusts and emotions I had for other partners. I mean, it was common in our society to sleep with whomever we wanted. The desires of the human flesh were natural after all. And since our society rid the human genome of all sexually transmitted diseases, why not enjoy the natural state of our near perfect bodies? Our new societal perfection wasn’t good enough for Lana though. She went on about how people used to conjoin in relationships, commit their lives to each other. Devote themselves to each other through better and worse. When she first told me these things, I thought she was crazy, scoffed at her ideas. She would normally cower afterwards.

I don’t know why I kept up with her, maybe she intrigued me. She had radical ideas explaining one freer than ours yet did not provide all the benefits we had. I couldn’t help but think she was joking at first, after all, the city provided us everything from clothing to housing to food to the drugs that helped amplify our minds and bodies. Life couldn’t be better I thought, but not to Lana. She believed we were missing something. The exhilaration of success and the disappointment in failure. The ability to experience all emotions whether they be happiness, anger, sorrow, even love. Not the kind of love we all experienced in the euphoric aftermath of fulfilling our lustful pleasures, but as she put it “believing someone else’s life was just as important, if not more important than your own”.

Months had passed and for some reason, I kept meeting with Lana. We would typically meet in the outskirts of the city just before the great wall. I don’t understand why she kept talking to me either, I guess I was one of the few she could trust with her crazy ideas. The night before she was taken, she told me her craziest idea yet. She believed there was a world outside the city walls. A world like the old, destroyed one with danger and even more importantly… freedom. I told her to stop her foolish non-sense when she asked me if I would go with her. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. She expected me to not only commit the dangerous act of defying the city’s orders, but even if we managed to escape, probably die in the barren wasteland that was the rest of the planet. It took me a minute to answer, but I had to refuse. She began crying as I grabbed her shoulder asking her to forget these crazy ideas. Seeing someone cry was rare, there wasn’t much to cry about in our perfect world. Her emotions had an effect on me. I couldn’t help but feel bad for refusing her.

Later that night we came back to my place. She said she was tired and wanted some rest, so I laid her in bed tucking her in. She kissed my cheek and rolled over falling asleep. I sat there looking at her for some time. I wondered how I ever got to meet this insane woman and wondered what strange feelings I had for her. Feelings in conflict as I thought she crazy yet couldn’t help but realize she was special in some way.

I finally went to sleep myself in another room when I heard a loud explosion. I got up to find six fully armored city security rushing to the bedroom Lana was in. I ran to go try to help her but they nabbed her, dragging her body as she screamed emotions of terror and pain. I tried to reach out for her when she quickly pushed something in my hand before a security guard hit me in the head knocking me to the floor. The room became blurry as I crawled to the room entrance hearing Lana cry as she was taken off before I collapsed.

I woke the next morning to the sound of a knocking at my door, a big blue mark covering half my face. I stumbled up still in confusion of exactly what happened. Knocking continued as I slowly walked to the front door. I opened to find a lady sent from the city. She asked if she could come in, so I guided her to the kitchen table before I started to look for my daily ration of drugs. She was a visually appealing woman in a suit perfectly showing her assets. She smiled as she looked at me.

“Unfortunately, we know about your relations with Lana” she exclaimed.

I replied “Yes, it’s unfortunate… I knew Lana was crazy, but what warranted the city to come after her?”

“She has had dangerous thoughts that could have had dire consequences for the welfare of our city.”

“Really? Was she a danger to others?”

“Oh yes!” she said as she sexily crossed her legs. “She was a danger to you in particular.”

“ME?! How was she a danger to me?”

“She was playing with your desires to seduce you into making radical attempts against our city. It is a good thing we took her when we did.”

I began to sit there soaking in everything being said. I knew Lana had wild fantasies, but being a danger to others? I just didn’t see it.

The attractive official stood up and leaned over me “I think you’re a good boy, so why don’t you forget about her? A boy like you could find pleasure in anyone you want.” I slowly nodded as she whispered in my ear. “Good!”

She began walking to my front door when she turned around once more for me to view her incredible assets. “I would like to meet you again sometime. Maybe this weekend if you like?”

I replied “Sure, sounds great.”

“Until then” as she waved and walked away.

Two days went by and all I could think about was Lana and the mysteriously sexy official who visited me the following morning. I finally took time to examine the item Lana pushed into my hand that terrifying night. A small silver locket. When opened, a small picture of herself was inside. My emotions were in chaos, I never felt this way before. I stopped taking my daily drug rations. I know they would have helped with the situation, but in a strange sort of way, my pain and my sorrow felt… good. I had never experienced such pain before, in some ways it was kind of invigorating. Days went by, all I could do was overlook the city and feel feelings I had never felt before as well as think thoughts never thought.

Finally the weekend came. My soul that I previously never knew existed was in torment. Accept the sexy official’s invitation and forget Lana ever existed or do the irrational action… find Lana and escape into her “free world beyond the wall”. I knew the second option was ridiculous, but somehow, Lana was worth all the risks, all the pain. I cried in torment as I bashed the locket against the wall in my hand. It broke in two and fell to the floor at my feet. Leaning over I noticed something; a message written in Lana’s handwriting.

“Dear Rob,

I don’t know how to describe my feelings towards you. You’re the only one in the whole city who cares enough to listen to me. I know you don’t like my ideas, but I know another world exists for us beyond the wall. It hurts me to think we may not be able to travel together, but in case, I left instructions for you in this message. I hope one day you will find the truth in my words.

Your love, Lana”

I didn’t know what to think. There was a note for how to escape the city in the sewers beyond the wall. I sat in reflection for a few solid minutes before finally coming to a conclusion. Lana needed me. Maybe life isn’t life without danger and uncertainty. Maybe paradise wasn’t paradise at all. I got dressed and rushed as fast as I could to the city prison without causing a scene. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do, but I had to see Lana.

I came across a large supply truck entering the base of the massive facility. As the truck was parked in a bay area, I snuck in before the door closed. I hid behind some large crates and to my luck, a prison guard walked right past. I beat him in the back of the head knocking him out cold in my arms and dragged his body behind the crates. After putting on his uniform, I snuck to the elevator and tried to find a place to get information on Lana’s whereabouts. I got lucky and stopped on the level of the office where all prisoner records were kept. I tried to peruse the massive library of records to find any information I could on Lana. After searching for hours, I hit the jackpot. Lana was on level thirty-two in cell A-35. I rushed back into the elevator and immediately began climbing to her level.

I walked out the door and immediately came face-to-face with the entrance guard. “You the replacement?”

“Uh yes, ready to changeover if you are?”

“You’re early. Not that I’m complaining. Let me open the door for you.”

A loud beep happened as the large, thick metal door swung open. He gave me his keys and said “Have a good shift!” as he hurried out the door.

I starting walking through the hallway looking for A-35. When I finally found the door, my heart began to pound. It was simultaneously the most terrifying and exciting moment of my life. I finally understood what Lana understood all along. And now I was moments of being with her for… “How nice to see you again, Robert”.

A chill went up my spine, it was the voice of the official that visited me the morning after the incident. On the speakers she said, “I’m jealous, I thought we had something, but obviously this Lana means something to you.”

The cell door swung open and Lana was tied in the shape of a cross in the back of the room. She lifted her face and began crying after seeing me. I rushed in to try to get her free, but noticed she was permanently fastened to her torture device.

“I’m so sorry, Rob…” she said crying. I stood next to her and wiped her tears as best I could.

“How sweet… I may not be able to guarantee you live together, but I can ensure you die together.” The speakers explained.

I looked at Lana and said what little I could in such a moment. The door closed behind me and gas started pouring in the chamber. She kept going on “I’m so sorry…” I finally had the strength to say what I probably should have said long before. “There is no reason to be sorry… I love you.” Her beaten face let off one last small smile as I embraced her and the gases poured in.

It was then I understood. Love wasn’t feelings, lust, or even emotions. Love was a commitment. Love was sacrifice.