A mother's account of her daughter

　　 My daughter is twenty years old.

　　 During this period, the mind from time to time back to the daughter's twenty years of the little bits and pieces, thinking that these memories will be recorded, is also a kind of memorial. When I put pen to paper, I realized that the pen was dry. So, let's take it at face value and let the pen go with the heart.

　　 When I was young, my daughter was very different from her peers, she didn't like cartoons, she didn't like little books, and she didn't play with people. The children in kindergarten were having fun, but my daughter was sitting alone in a corner with a sad face. "Mom, come pick me up early." Every day when I came home from kindergarten, my daughter's insistent plea was a spell that I could not forget. When she was sick, she had to cry from the moment she walked out of the house until the needle was injected into her veins. She was extremely anxious about life and was like a scared little bird in front of people other than her grandparents and mother, and father. Mom once suspected that her daughter was "autistic", but it seems that she is not, and her performance at home brings us a lot of joy and comfort. The daughter loves cleanliness, even a kiss from her mother is busy wiping her face; the daughter is very hard-working, washing socks for her mother, mopping the floor, busy; daughter likes to explore, dad's razor, mother's flower sword are her "scientific research" object ......

　　 The mother is worried about her daughter's introversion and isolation, and she is making all kinds of efforts. The food "tempted" the surrounding children to come home, hoping to stimulate the daughter's desire to have fun. The company's activities also brought the daughter to encourage her to play with children. Every weekend, I take my daughter to the supermarket; every night, I make up stories about brave children to lull her to sleep. We also encouraged our daughter to learn the piano and to practice calligraphy and painting, to increase her chances of getting along with strangers. ...... The effect gradually became apparent, and our daughter slowly stopped resisting getting along with others, although she still resisted kindergarten, but expressed her willingness to go to preschool. So, my daughter entered the preschool class at the age of four and a half.

　　 In the second grade, my daughter learned that sixty points were the passing mark. By this time, she also had one or two playmates, but she was still not very social and timid. In the fourth grade, she accidentally became the "top student" in the class midterm exam, and told her mother somberly, "I don't want to be the top student. When she was asked why she said that the top of the class was the class president and had to take charge of the whole class. It turned out that this silly girl was so full of herself that she thought she had to be the class president if she became the top student and was anxious.

　　 My mother let go of my daughter's studies because she didn't want to put more pressure on her and aggravate her "autism" and because she wanted to reduce her dependency and guide her to do things on her own. At first, my daughter was faithful to her teacher's instructions and asked her mother to supervise her to memorize and check her homework. The mother refused: "Mom's job is to work and earn money, your job is to study and learn, and it's the teacher's job to check her homework. If you need mommy's signature, then fine, if you think you can recite the text or do your homework, just say so and mommy will sign it, but mommy will never be responsible for checking the rightness or wrongness of any of your homework." After a few times, my daughter realized that relying on her mother to keep an eye on her schoolwork was a delusion, and she stopped reporting to her mother about her studies. During the summer vacation of the fourth grade, my mother observed that my daughter rarely did her homework, but wrote and drew without any purpose, and she held back from saying anything. The next day, when it was time to register, two-thirds of my daughter's summer homework was blank. She finally panicked and confessed to me honestly. The night before registration, my mother and my daughter did her summer homework together until midnight. She didn't scold her for such a "big deal", but just asked her with a sober face if she knew she was very wrong and not to do it again. Since then, my daughter has been completely self-disciplined in her studies and has been a "good officer" and "outstanding student" almost every semester during her elementary school years.

　　 "Be responsible for your own choices", is the advice my mother gave to my daughter since she was a child. Her daughter did not want to participate in interest classes and tutorials, and she quit after a month of learning the piano and practicing calligraphy. Although her mother felt regretful but insisted on respecting her daughter's choice. Later, my daughter asked herself to learn swimming and badminton, and she learned them with style. In her second year of junior high school, my daughter strongly requested to go to the city's first middle school. From the bottom of her heart, my mother wanted her daughter to attend the local mining school so that she could be taken care of in all aspects of life. But my daughter insisted on going, so my mother chose to support her, but told her that she chose her path and that she should not cry on her own, but find her way to solve her problems. In the first semester of her junior year, her daughter encountered a learning bottleneck and was depressed. Her mother asked her carefully, analyzed her patiently, and told her that learning knowledge only enriches her, that there are many paths to a happy life, and that further education is not the only one; that no matter which path you choose, as long as it gives you peace of mind, your mother will support you. As she listened, the gloom on her daughter's face gradually lifted.

　　 In her third year of high school, she rented an off-campus room at her daughter's request for the convenience of schooling. Because of severe motion sickness and other reasons, the mother did not run to the city on weekends like other parents around her, did not even go to parent-teacher conferences, and did not meet any of her daughter's teachers. With such a "strange" mother who ignores her child's education and stays away from it, her daughter learned to take care of her education and life early on, and despite mistakes and omissions, she finally stumbled through college. Now, her daughter is about to be a senior, and she is addicted to software programming outside her major. Despite not liking her daughter doing such a boring thing, her mother chose to support her daughter to attend relevant training in the provincial capital as a way to increase her learning and skills.

　　 It was in high school that my daughter's cheerful and lively side gradually emerged and she had a group of classmates and friends. Since college, my daughter has been studying hard, actively participating in school clubs and social practices, making friends, and getting scholarships every year, which brings a lot of comfort to her mother. The daughter has to communicate with her mother every day through WeChat, and QQ, and communication, the mother is more pleased to find that her daughter has a personality that she greatly appreciates: open-minded, kind, generous, understanding, sees the problem without prejudice, treats others not mean. However, the mother felt that her daughter was not good at dressing up, dressed in ordinary clothes with, a plain face, and could not help but nag her many times. The other day, the daughter came home for the weekend, and seeing her finally in a youthful beauty dress, the mother exaggerated her good praise.

　　 I often have colleagues and friends who share their education methods and approaches, such as "tiger mom" and "cat mom", and envy my mother for her "ease" in educating her daughter. Mom always says: that education methods vary from person to person, there is no best and worst. The education of children is only effective if it is tailored to the needs of the individual and the place. She thinks she has done the best job by instilling in her daughter the concept of "peace, health, and happiness are the most beautiful things in life" since she was born.