A life’s journey

Part 1

I could hear the chugging sound of what seemed to be a train on the rail repeating rhythmically.

At first I couldn’t place it in my mind,I didn’t know what was happening , but it kept on going endlessly.

I opened my eyes and noticed my surroundings.

Where am I?

I felt rested. Those long nights at the office were exhausting and I know I needed a good night sleep.

I looked around.

The polished wood on the walls was shiny and looked very elegant , and even though I knew I was not there, or at least I could not remember how I got there to begin with,I felt safe.

The flower printed curtains hanging on each side of the window were holded up in the middle with one of those tiebacks , the lamps were also shaped like a blooming flower.

One of them was right on top of me on the back of the tiny bed that I was sleeping on, I could see it from beneath.

The light was soft and gave that place a nice atmosphere.

Again. Where am I?

I was still half asleep and didn’t know if what was happening to me was real or if it was one of those dreams that make you wonder if you are awake or not.

I felt at ease and for a moment I just wanted to lay there, close my eyes again and drift out.

Just keep sleeping and maybe figure out what was going on later.

I tossed and got more comfortable.

My pillow felt soft and I just wrapped my arms around it.

But I don’t remember my pillow to feel like this.

And again …where am I?

At this point I opened my eyes and cleared my head a bit.

I was in a sleeping cabin inside a train.

And on top of that, it was a steam engine train,and those kinds of trains I am pretty much certain don’t operate anymore.

I have always been curious about locomotives but ..

How did I get here?

My thoughts and my memory felt kind of confusing so I tried to think backwards.

I remember it was mid summer, and I was going to meet my brother Will at the cottage.

I didn’t want to go.

I had so much work to do at the office.

-Anna, you need to slow down, rest!!-

Will has always taken care of me since I was a child and now that I am a grown woman it feels silly, but I love him, and he’s probably right, I need to get away and just rest.

I graduated with Honors as a engineer almost 10 years ago and got selected to a big project downtown by a prestigious company and I have been very busy since then.

I barely see my brother and the rest of my family and they keep telling me to meet them all the time.

Will is older than me. He got married to Susan because she got pregnant.

I kept telling him not to because I thought they were too young, also because he needed to finish his studies and graduate so he could get a better job or so I thought .

But that was eight years ago.

He helps our uncle on his farm now. It doesn’t pay too much but he doesn’t mind.

They both ended up having their twins and they are the most beautiful children. I love them, I know I do, but I don’t spend too much time with them, I wish I could.

Will struggles, but he is very happy and proud of his family.

They spend a lot of time at that cottage. I mean, it is a very simple log house with a small kitchen and two big bedrooms

But it is located in front of a majestic lake in the mountains.

I remember my sweet mother baking bread and muffins for all the kids.

We used to run around and swim , jump from the big rock and go up and down that mountain thousands of times.

We had a treehouse that we use to sleep in that is still there.

The twins love it.

The cottage was my grandparents' and it has been in the family for more than 50 years.

Grandpa made all the furniture inside and outside the cottage.

Chairs , tables, benches and even the beds.

I can remember the smell of pinewood as he kept sewing it and then the sanding , and after that, the smell of the stain.

I don't know why I am thinking about it now.

They loved to go there with all of us , mom and dad , my uncles and ants, my cousins. Will and my sister Rose who also has two kids.

Rose is the sweetest person, we were very close growing up.

She would make everyone laugh with her witty sense of humour and she is the best baker.

Cinnamon rolls,cupcakes,cakes and all kinds of breads. I can almost smell them thinking about those days.

She settled near the little town that is about 10 kilometres from the cottage and married Claudio, together they run their small bakery and their life is simple, but they are so happy all the time.

They have two boys that are their pride and joy and love to help at the bakery.

I feel like I never have enough time to actually be with my nephews.

That makes me feel a little sad.

I don’t know how many times I bragged about my Job to them.

I don’t know why I feel ashamed about that now.

Yes, it is well paid , but it takes all my time and effort. I am almost 39 and all by myself.

I haven’t been to the cottage since mom passed away five years ago. That was the last time I was with all of them together.

I miss her dearly and I didn’t want to be at her favorite place and not being able to see her ,it’s difficult for me.

I had a close relationship with my mother even though we argued about everything, but it was something we did, it was our way to interact because we needed to express our thoughts and at the end they weren’t even argumentative fights, they were just ways to express our points of view about stuff and we always came out smiling about them.

Her death was sudden, something that took us by surprise and left me and everyone else wondering why a perfectly healthy woman could get sick so fast and perish in just two weeks.

But those are questions that have no answer and we just need to accept.

Rose and Will insisted that I needed to go to the cottage so I could let her go.

It took all of my will .

Also because they miss me, I know they do, I miss them too, but, I’m so busy.

I saw mom there for the last time that perfect summer , baking cookies for the children and laughing.

That’s what I want to remember.

Not the hospital, not her pain.

Dad was devastated for a while, but he moved to the cottage permanently.

He has all the grandchildren there very often and it has been good for him.

Will finally convinced me to join them and I decided to go.

I also forced myself to take a break from all my work. I was tired and overwhelmed with deadlines and I needed to just rest.

That’s what I remember.

Driving.

Pouring rain, and those two lights in front of me , after that all is blank.

I sat on that tiny little bed for a moment and suddenly I heard some voices outside my cabin. I stood up there in front of a small lavatory with a mirror on top

My face looked different, younger I think.

I went outside looking for some explanation, I needed to ask anyone where I was and what was going on and how I got there.

I heard laughter.

It was the sweetest laugh I can remember;my mom’s laugh.

I froze.

How could that be possible?

Then she laughed again and my heart started beating faster.

-mom?…. mommy?-my voice trembled.

-My baby!-

She was radiant, beautiful, I kept walking towards her in a mixture of disbelief and excitement .

I was overjoyed and in shock at the same time, how could she be there?

I hugged her so hard, my arms were shaking, I could smell her and couldn’t believe that was happening.

-I miss you so much mom…How can this be happening?-

She looked at me and smiled.

-Come with me, let's go meet everyone else-

She looked different somehow,happy and younger than I remember.

I was not sure of what I was experiencing but being there with her gave me so much comfort that I didn’t care so much about understanding.

We went to another wagon of that strange train that kept on going.

I saw a woman and a man approaching us, they were around their 30's .

She was smiling, her red dress looked very familiar to me, and that man had a mustache and very dark hair.

They both looked at mom.

-I think she is still in shock honey boo.-said that man.

-Honey boo?-I thought..that’s how grampa used to call my mom.

I remember that from when I was little.

The nice lady in the red dress came to me and kissed my nose.

I trembled.

-Nana?- she was the only person that did that to me. It was bizarre what I was living but it felt so right at the same time.

-We didn’t expect you to be here this soon Anna. But I am so happy to see you again. -

I hugged her in disbelief and looked at my grandpa. He was so handsome , and young.

So many thoughts went through my mind, about my life of course, I got it, I was not alive anymore.

I thought about the choices I made, not giving priority to my family.

All the time I wasted working while Will and Rose were focusing on sharing and enjoying each other , living the day-to-day simplest things and being infinitely grateful and happy.

-So, what happens now mama?- I said looking at her.

-Nothing happens Anna, we just wait here. See? We can all be here, together and wait for the others.

It seemed very easy and comfortable to just sit there with them and relax, enjoying their company.

-This is a place where you can decide if you want to go back and live a new life, baby. Is kind of a waiting place.

You get to see your loved ones that are still alive and wait for them to transition here, just like you.

Or you can choose to rise up from the train. You can do that when you feel ready.

It made a little sense being there with them , we had comfy rooms and food and the view was fantastic. Very inviting I have to say.

We were all looking through the window. The scenery was stunning.

-We just keep going,this train never stops- said Nana

I smiled at her, I guess I could not ask for more.

I thought about Will and Rose, the kids. They were probably very sad .

But they all have each other ,eventually they will get through it.

All of a sudden we heard someone coming towards us.

-Anna!… Anna Hudly?-

A lady all dressed in white came into the wagon where we were all together.

-Its me…- I said

-Oh dear! This should not be happening!!-

-What is it? What’s going on? - I asked her, beginning to feel a bit worried.

-You shouldn’t be here dear.It is not your time. You still had 36 more years -

I didn’t understand how they could possibly make a mistake in that strange place.

-what do you mean by that ? Do I get to go back to my life?-

-No, I can’t do that , I am sorry-

-But I need to tell my brother and my sister. That they were right. That I had to enjoy life better. How would they know if I don’t tell them?-

-They will know Anna, your sudden death will help them reassure their own decisions.

Every once in a while this happens. People come back here before it was planned,especially the ones that linger with their loved ones that have departed already.

It also happens to people that don’t fulfill what they want to experience in their lives, the ones they chose to live when they decide to go back and be reborn.

Anyone that is close to you gets an extra experience from your departure.

But there is something else that I can offer you.

Since you have extra time, you could go back instantly. Without waiting for the 3 month period that everyone else who is here is required to wait before they go back.

You can choose any Country and also specific experiences you’d like to live.

Think about it and let me know.-

She smiled and left.

I looked at my mom, how could I leave that place and leave her again?

-I’ll just stay now mommy, I need you!-

-Anna , you can do what you want- said her touching my cheeks and looking at me with those sweet eyes that filled me with confidence and love.

-But you could also go back and experience a new life!

I thought about it being here for so long. But I was waiting for you to change your life.

You coming here so soon was not expected but I got to see you again and for me that is enough.

Nana and grandpa are rising up if I go back.

That’s what they decided.

What would you like to do ?-

I looked at her again. I mean, I got an opportunity to have a new life. That sounded kind of fun and exciting.

-I think I know what to do mommy-

And she also knew. She knew me better than I know myself.

That night we had the best time all together. It was sort of a farewell party for all of us.

We ate and laughed at my grandpa's jokes and Nana braided my hair. Just as she used to when I was a little girl.

When that lady came into the room she knew to.

-ok! Everything is ready for both of you to go back. -

We all said our goodbyes and went with her.

Nana and Grandpa went somewhere else and we waved one more time.

-Are you ready ?- Mom smiled and we both got to lay on a bed.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep very quickly with the rhythmic sound of the train.

Relaxed and comfortable.

Part 2

-Ok ! Now push! Push!-

Rachel was laying on the bed anxious and a bit worried. Her husband Raoul looked at her and grabbed her hands.

-oh sweetie, one more push! You are almost there

I think the last thing I remember is seeing a very bright light.

-The twins are perfectly fine. - said the doctor to them.

Rachel and Raoul looked proudly at the two little girls that were just born.

-This is the beginning of your new life-said Rachel to her little princesses while she kissed them.