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A Crown in Shadows

Fantasy Prologue II Challenge

By Liam StormPublished about a year ago 10 min read
Top Story - October 2024
A Crown in Shadows
Photo by Alexandra on Unsplash

The river ran backwards on the day the Queen vanished, and it would continue to do so, until her Majesty’s funeral had concluded. The funeral hadn’t yet begun, in fact, the rivers in the Queendom of Lubel running backwards was the first sign to her people that Her Majesty had passed. Members of royalty don’t just vanish in Lubel, it is the first of the three stages of a Monarch’s death.

Queen Atani's vanishing was not a shock to those who knew her well, the Queensguard, her three sons, and some members of the royal household were present in her final moments. She lay on her bedspread, and faded out of existence in front of their very eyes. For all but one person present, this was the first time they had seen this phenomenon happen, the Queen’s chambermaid was an elderly lady, who began her career as a young woman to the previous Queen. The men and women in attendance all bowed their heads in respect for their departing leader, knowing that the new Monarch would be crowned in just a few days, at the close of the funeral procession.

The large bell in the tallest clock tower rang out a single time, its long monotone tune almost mournful. Five seconds later, it did so again and it would continue for four and a half minutes, precisely fifty-four times in remembrance of the length of Her Majesty's reign.

Prince Flynn was walking the stone steps, down away from the castle. The steps lead onto the main road into the city of Mistvale, Lubel's capital and home to ten thousand people. Flynn had been dubbed the People's Prince, he preferred to spend his time with the commoners, drinking in taverns, betting on snail races and playing cards, all of which he had a knack for. His brothers were the complete opposite, the eldest brother, Prince Carter was arrogant, pompous and a bore to be around.. Aka, mother's favourite. And his youngest brother, Prince Dravin could do no wrong in the eyes of the Queensguard, as he was a skilled swordsman, even at the age of fourteen, he was destined to be the youngest Knight to join the Guard, an honour like no other.

Flynn was always asked questions like, “where did I go wrong with you?”, and “to what displeasure do I owe this visit?”, and “won't you just behave like your brothers for once?”. It infuriated him to no end, especially the latter, there was no way he would ever act like his brothers.

It occurred to Flynn on this solo walk that many had questioned the three stage death process of a Monarch, but none (that he was aware of) had successfully found out the reason behind it. Not even the late Queen had those answers, or if she did, she never disclosed that information to her middle son. In those few minutes, walking away into the city, Prince Flynn decided that he would follow in the footsteps of those who had attempted to find out, but he would be different, he would return to the Queendom of Lubel with his knowledge.

After the first stage being the vanishing of the body, the second stage began immediately. An apparition of the Queen would appear in all major cities simultaneously within their main squares, the apparition would then await a gathering crowd, and speak to them. The apparition's mouth would not move, and no sound would come out, yet the Queen's voice rang out loud and clear. This speech was traditionally short, and generally it was to entail the Monarch thanking their subjects and introducing the new Monarch.

All around the Queendom, the people of Lubel heard the voice of Queen Atani, she spoke her rehearsed lines at the same time as Flynn entered Mistvale. He could hear her droning, toneless voice ringing out through the streets, bouncing off the walls. Upon entering the city, Flynn beelined for a building he knew all too well, The Brazen Bull. The tavern was a commonplace for Prince Flynn, but more than that, he had a room reserved especially in which he rented on an annual basis for the sole purpose of having a place to stay outside the castle. Over the course of the past few years, Prince Flynn had recognised that he was never going to get the throne, and he was the least favoured of his mothers three kids, he knew there was a point in his life where he was going to leave Mistvale and adventure out, wherever that may take him.

Inside Room 9 of The Brazen Bull, Flynn had left himself a bow and quiver filled with 24 arrows, and pre-packed himself a knapsack with some essentials including a bed roll, a long hooded cloak, a canteen, a handful of snares, a wet stone and oils for his sword. After donning his cloak, Flynn strapped the bow wood to his back, swung the bag onto his right shoulder and pulled the quiver up and over his head so the strap comfortably sat at an angle. He quickly took the stairs down to the ground floor, and spoke to Misty, the barmaid and daughter of the innkeeper. She rounded up a host of dried and cured meats, some bread and dried fruits, and filled his canteen with fresh water from the well.

Prince Flynn left the tavern as an anonymous traveller, he was well kitted and had enough food to keep him going for days, not to mention his bow and snares which he could use to gather more. All he had to do now was follow the river.

The Crystalbrook had magical qualities, although not many understood what they were. It could heal, but only if a shaman was present and provided the correct incantation, it could also boost stamina and strength, but so far, people have only been able to do this by accident, and nobody knows how or why.

Flynn reached the Crystalbrook and watched it's current flowing upstream. It was a strange sensation knowing how water will always flow downhill, and yet seeing this river content in breaking its own laws. He sat and waited for the third and final stage of his mother's funeral.

The distant sound of his mother's voice ceased in the city's main square, indicating the end of the second stage of her death, and instantly beginning the final stage. What they called the Water Funeral, they would appear on the horizon, the body laid delicately in a beautifully decorated boat, rowed by invisible oarsmen. The boat travelled towards the Capital, and it would enter the river, at which point the oars stopped rowing, allowing the unnatural reversed current to carry the Monarch through the City granting the subjects a chance to say their last goodbyes. Flowers were thrown from the river banks, sometimes even silver and gold from richer families.

To the public, Queen Atani was a decent Queen, she had been good natured and friendly to anyone who came in contact, she had been pleasant in meetings, and had greeted many of her subjects to listen to their tales of woe, and help solve major and sometimes minor disputes.

Behind closed doors however, to those within the inner circle, Queen Atani was a vile woman, she treated her castle staff poorly, and her children even worse. Often she would mimic some of her subjects' disputes behind their backs, and laugh about how little money the disputes were over. Every now and then word got out that she wasn’t as pleasant as she seemed, but due to the interactions she had with the general public, the accusations never got beyond just that, accusations.

Quite frankly, despite the warm reception his mother was receiving from her loyal subjects on her journey up river, there was only a very small part of him that was sorry she was gone, and that very small part of him was mainly sorry because it meant his older brother was going to be taking the throne.

This all led to Flynn sitting here on the bank of the river, awaiting his mother, the Queen who had vanished, to sail past upstream. Legend says the first Monarch to reign over all of Lubel was sent from the Gods on a boat of luscious ruby red, down the Crystalbrook. When each Monarch passed, they returned to the Gods in the same manner. At the time, the land was rife with war, Lords and Ladies claiming to be Kings and Queens all over were fighting for the right to reign over all Lubel. Some rumours claimed there were as many as twenty-two self proclaimed Monarchs. The country however was too large for one person to be able to take control, anytime one local Monarch got close, they were betrayed, assassinated or overthrown by two or more other Monarchs who made a pact, which would ultimately be betrayed.

The Gods wanted the land to have some kind of peace to allow humanity to thrive, so they made a decision for the people, and sent their own Monarch. Initially there was some fight back from some of the local self proclaimed Monarchs, but in time they realised there was one true Queen of Lubel, as some of those who fought back were killed, and others discussed treaties with the new Queen.

Supposedly this happened over 700 years ago, and Prince Flynn's attention was drawn away from the past, and back to the now as the beautifully crafted and decorated boat came floating into view around the bend. He saw layers of flowers coating the top of the boat, and as it moved he saw the glint of some of the coins thrown aboard. Last of all he noticed the body of his mother, and strangely, he felt nothing. He expected to have some feeling, sadness, regret at how they’re relationship was, even glad that he would never have to see her again. But he didn't feel any of that, he didn't feel anything at all.

He rose from his seated position and began his journey upriver, walking alongside the boat, there was no way he was letting it out of his sight while he followed it to where it began this 700 year old journey.

A low dense fog clung to the trees like a tick to a dog, and Flynn could tell it was here to stay. He stuck within a few metres of the river bank at all times, determined not to lose sight of the boat. A few times over the course of the next sixteen hours Flynn had to pull his dagger from its sheath on his hip to cut through some dense foliage so as not to have to take a large detour. He came across little resistance, only once did he have to defend himself from bandits trying their arm. Three men wasn’t enough though, despite being the worst swordsman of his mother’s three sons, he still had substantial skill and would be considered as one of the best swordsmen of the country. He only had to demonstrate his archery skills once, when a lionhawk decided it was going to feast on the body of the Queen. His reasoning to protect was mainly to satisfy the Gods rather than to protect the vanished Queen's dignity.

The forest seemed to get more and more dense the further uphill he went. He reached a fork in the river and needed to follow it right, so had to jump over the new fork which spanned two metres. Taking a large run up, Flynn launched himself over the gap, landing heavily and tripping as he tried to slow himself down. He stood quickly as if to avoid embarrassment despite being on his own, he turned and was surprised to find himself looking at an empty river, the current returned to normal. He cursed loudly, frustrated at himself for wasting his last twenty hours. Flynn honestly believed his brothers would not want him to return, and knew there would be questions surrounding where he had been, so he opted to continue his search, more than anything he was desperate to not fail in his endeavour, and if he were to fail, he would not return the Mistvale.

Prince Flynn dusted himself off and strode confidently, still keeping the river off to his right, but now following the current flowing in the opposite direction, which is to say, the traditionally correct direction, downhill. Only a minute later, a mere fifty metres, something happened, something Flynn couldn't understand or explain.

The air shimmered in front of him like a heat haze, unable to see due to the bright sun shining down through a cloudless sky, he drew his sword as he advanced through the shimmering air. A wave of nausea hit him as he crossed the threshold, but continued moving forwards regardless, sword up and ready to defend himself if necessary. The nausea passed swiftly, but the bright sun stayed as he noticed he was still in the same place, the river running off to his right, and the forest trees all around him. He continued forwards, and suddenly broke through the heavy dense bushes into a clearing.

The clearing was unexpectedly massive, and he found himself looking upon hundreds of people, none of whom had noticed him yet. There was a long path that snaked uphill, carving out the easiest path up the mountain, coming to a stop in front of a large building at its crest. Flynn walked the cobbled brick path, it seemed the most logical thing to do. Recognising these people were no threat, he re-sheathed his sword, the sound of which notifying the closest people of his presence. Once they had noticed him they started to bend their knees and bow deeply and with utmost respect. Once he reached the final kilometre everyone within eyesight was kneeling.

He was approaching the large building now, bigger than it seemed from the start of the path. It looked to be built out of ash white marble, and had eight large pillars along the front, four either side of a huge set back double doorway. He entered to find the building was just one huge room, filled with murals that showed history that he recognised, it was a history of the legend he had heard and was pondering only a day before.

In front of him in a semi circle were eight huge thrones, sitting atop those were eight huge people... No, not people, Gods. These were his Gods, the ones he had grown up hearing about. The ones he had believed in, but always had his doubts about. The ones who were sitting right in front of him.

Luscon, Phaeno, Quona, Theria, Marrus, Daa'ev, Grayver and Kunlan.

The last thing Flynn expected to hear came from the God of War, Phaeno; “Hello Prince Flynn, we’ve been expecting you.”

AdventureFantasyMysteryYoung AdultShort Story

About the Creator

Liam Storm

I currently work as a thatcher, but love the art of writing a narrative, currently I am working on putting my ideas onto paper and creating a book. In the meantime I create short stories to keep myself, fiancée and two dogs entertained.

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (10)

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  • R. B. Boothabout a year ago

    You did a great job landing the ending with intrigue and a page turner. Definitely makes you want to turn the page. Is this part of your larger work or just a submission for this competition?

  • This comment has been deleted

  • Testabout a year ago

    Ooooooo! This is sooooo interesting, Liam!! That final line really hooked me in, not that I wasn't already drawn in!!

  • Testabout a year ago

    I thoroughly enjoyed this! You have talent

  • Daphsamabout a year ago

    Excellent story!

  • Testabout a year ago

    well written, great work

  • Antoni De'Leonabout a year ago

    OOOOOH! Wonder if he will be made king. Will kings disappear/vanish too. Congrats.

  • Dana Crandellabout a year ago

    Congratulations!

  • JBazabout a year ago

    Back to say congratulations

  • Katarzyna Popielabout a year ago

    Great writing, I'd like to know what happens next!

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