A Crayfish’s Tale

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Chorus: As they took his soul, they stole his pride (pride)*

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‘So, they locked us up again, Mr. Cray…’

‘So, this is what it looks like…’

‘What are we going to do now?’

‘Nothing, just the usual – we will wait until the thaw comes in the spring, or maybe earlier…’

‘But we were planning a vacation in the other pond… We have waited so long for this… Many of us booked leave from work during this time… And what now?’

‘Nothing… You say so, Mr. Cull, as I am supposed to be responsible for the early arrival of winter this year…’

‘I didn’t say that! I was just trying to say that you are the one in charge here and we are counting on you to solve the issue, that’s it!’

‘Right! I have an awkward feeling you wanted to say something else, Mr. Cull… Never mind…’

‘I hope we don’t have to visit human gutters like last winter… Remember, Crown?’

‘Yeah, that was nuts! Human gutters are full of algae, bugs, and bacteria… I don’t know what they’re doing there… It’s disgusting! At least we are safe under the frozen pond!’

‘Nobody asks you to visit people’s gutters, my friends! It was different last winter. We were forced to visit them as they took us, remember? Or your memory is as short as a goldfish’s? They took some of our buddies to the bucket… I think they were fishermen… They were cutting through the ice and trying to catch some fish, but there weren’t any, so they took some crayfish instead. They didn’t seem to like it, didn’t even bother to cook it, thank goodness! I guess they lacked the knowledge about us, so they accidentally threw us into the gutter on the street right after we were caught… Fortunately, using pipes, which were quite wide, we managed to reach the nearest river Colne, and from there it was close to our pond… But crawling on muddy grass isn’t one of my favourite exercises, however, it was essential to return home safely…’

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Chorus: As they took his soul, they stole his pride (pride)*

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‘What’s that?’

‘Where?’

‘Over there! Over the water… Looks like… Oh no!’

‘Ladies and gentlemen, please stay calm… They’re just crushing the ice, it’s nothing serious. Please stay calm!’

Mr. Cray’s voice vibrated beneath the surface of the water like sonar supposed to scope the distance between crustaceans and danger.

‘I’m afraid, honey…’ Lady Crab expressed her feelings to Mr. Crab.

‘Don’t be, my dear. They probably only do it to start fishing earlier than expected… or there may be a fishing competition… Who knows! This year’s winter is strong, but there is nothing to be afraid of… In a moment we’ll bury ourselves in the sand next to the bricks so that they won’t catch us…’

‘Ladies and gentlemen! We’re hiding… I’m counting down… One… two… three…’

‘What? I can’t just hide… My exoskeleton is too fragile for that! And my tusk… I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!’

‘Miss Fairy Shrimp, this is an order… you can’t refuse!’

‘But I have to! I may not survive this!’ She started to cry like a little girl.

‘Were you here with us last winter?’

‘No, the life of my species is usually very short… You see, my parents start living in the pond in the summer, and after hatching in the fall, most of us die if we can’t grow up fast enough…’

‘So how did you survive?’

‘Um, Mr. Tadpole Shrimp has taken me under his wing… You see, he’s like a grandpa to me…’ and she showed them the oldest surviving animal species in the world, a living fossil.

‘That’s just nuts, baby girl!’ Crown expressed his discontentment.

‘Is anyone talking about me? I didn’t hear you right, forgive me…’ Mr. Tadpole said in a roaring, screeching voice that sounded like a raging bull.

‘You took her to your hideout, Mr. Tadpole? It’s illegal…’ Mr. Cray looked seriously concerned.

‘Yes, I know, but I couldn’t help it! She pleaded with me that she was growing too slowly to survive… And here she is… so beautiful! Isn’t she?!’

‘Yes, so beautiful… She can’t hide? So, we’re leaving her here, right? Someone who can’t hide from danger will be in danger herself, won’t she, Cull?’ Crown was as implacable as always.

‘Yeah! Why not? One less doesn’t matter… No one will notice one less shrimp anyway… She’s so small, almost invisible!’ Cull supported his mate’s point of view on the matter at hand.

‘Ladies and gentlemen! We’re all going together! There’s no other option… I am terribly tempted to leave some of you who are just being racist…’

‘Who is racist? Hmm, Mr. Cray…?’ Mr. Cull was flushed with emotions that hurled his body furiously like a hurricane he had never experienced from the air, only under the water.

‘Both of you, for instance, Mr. Cull and Mr. Crown. A bunch of fools.’

‘Excuse me?!’ Crown tried to protest.

‘Yes, you are,’ Mr. Tadpole said calmly.

‘Alright, alright! Let her come with us… if she can hide…’ Mr. Cull said in a softer tone of voice and smiled.

‘She’ll have to stay on the top surface, but we’ll be fine, don’t you worry… We just have to stick together like musketeers, my dear friends! Is everyone ready?!’

‘Yes!!!’ All freshwater invertebrates responded with one strong choral voice.

Then all the animals, as one man, inundated into the refuges in an earnest attempt to avoid human predators. The Fairy Shrimp held its tiny head above the shallow sandy surface. She wanted to see it with her own eyes. It was such a curious creature.

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Chorus: As they took his soul, they stole his pride (pride)*

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– THE END –

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* The chorus lyrics are from Oasis song ‘Cast No Shadow’.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

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Thank you for reading!