A clever servant

A certain gentleman had a very clever servant named Bhojohori. One day, Bhojohori saw his master rushing anxiously toward home. He asked, “Babu, where are you going?”

The master replied, “Come quickly, Bhojohori, disaster has struck—our house is on fire!”

To this, Bhojohori calmly said, “Oh no need to worry, Babu. That can’t be true. How could the house catch fire? I have the key with me!”

Once, Bhojohori went to the oilman's shop to buy a seer of oil. The oilman measured exactly a seer, which filled Bhojohori’s bowl. Then Bhojohori asked, “Won’t you give me something extra?”

The oilman said, “Sure! But what will you carry it in?”

Bhojohori thought, That’s true, what should I use? But if I go back without the extra bit, Babu will think I’m a fool.

Then he remembered that there was a tiny hole at the bottom of the bowl. Immediately, he turned the bowl upside down, pointed to the hole and said, “Pour the extra into this!”

The oilman, laughing, poured some oil into the hole. Delighted, Bhojohori returned home with his prize.

Once Bhojohori was crossing a river on a boat with his master. The boat was quite crowded. Bhojohori began to worry it might sink. So he placed his bundle on his head and sat like that.

His master said, “Bhojohori, put your bundle down. Why bear the trouble of carrying it on your head?”

Bhojohori replied, “No sir, the boat is already too heavy. If I put the bundle down, it’ll get even heavier.”

One night, a thief came into the house. Bhojohori sensed it. He thought, I must catch the scoundrel.

He tied horns to his head, wore a tail, and stood in a corner of the yard—his plan being that the thief would mistake him for a goat and try to steal him, and then Bhojohori would pounce.

The thief entered the house, while Bhojohori bleated from the corner, “Maa-aa-aa!”

The thief brought things out from the house and bundled them together. Bhojohori again said, “Maa-aa-aa!”

The thief ran off with the bundle, hopping over a garbage pile. Bhojohori laughed so hard he rolled on the ground and said, “What a fool! He stepped on the trash pile—now he’ll have to bathe again!”

Ramdhon was a simple man, but had a bit of a temper. He went to work in a gang of thieves.

One night, the thieves took him along for a robbery. They left him in a taro field nearby and said, “Sit here quietly. Once we bring out the loot, you’ll help carry it.”

Ramdhon said, “Okay.”

While the thieves were breaking in, Ramdhon sat in the field, being devoured by mosquitoes.

He tried to endure it at first, but soon began slapping at them. Finally, losing his temper, he took his stick and began thrashing the entire taro patch.

The house's people woke up and shouted, “Who’s making all that noise?”

Ramdhon shouted back, “It’s me, Ramdhon!”

They asked, “What are you doing there?”

Ramdhon answered, “Someone’s breaking into your house!”

What happened next was pure chaos. The thieves dropped everything and fled for their lives.

Later, they scolded Ramdhon harshly.

He said, “What could I do? I got so angry—those mosquitoes!”

The thieves warned him, “Listen, don’t you ever do that again!”

The next night, the thieves again took Ramdhon for another robbery. This time, he vowed that even if mosquitoes ate him alive, he wouldn’t make a sound.

But the thieves, too, had learned their lesson. They thought, It’s dangerous to leave him outside. Better to send him in and we stay out.

They approached a house, quietly unlocked the latch from outside, and told Ramdhon, “Now sneak inside and bring out whatever you can. Just don’t make a noise!”

Ramdhon began pushing the door open, but the rusty hinges squeaked, “Creak!”

Startled, Ramdhon froze. Then he tried again—another loud “Creak!”

Gritting his teeth in frustration, Ramdhon muttered, “Argh!”

Finally, losing all control, he started shaking the door violently and shouted, “Creak! Creak! Creak!”

Well… you can imagine what happened next.

Now, those were just silly stories. Let me tell you about a real-life servant named Kenaram.

One day, Kenaram was dressed up nicely, sitting on the deck of a boat. He was going with his master to a fair.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps from inside the boat—it was his master, coming out! Thinking it was time to leave, Kenaram leapt off the roof of the boat—and landed squarely on his master’s neck.

When Kenaram first started working, an old servant told him, “When Babu returns from the office, always offer him betel leaves (paan).”

One day, as soon as the master came home, he went straight to the toilet.

Kenaram rushed in after him and said, “Babu, I brought your paan!”