5 Minute Fiction: Ring

Snow fell from the deep gray sky. Huge flakes alighted on branches and coated the sidewalk. I stood gazing up at the dense clouds and patches where the starlight shined through. The cold bit at my exposed fingertips but didn’t hurt enough to persuade me to go back inside. Beyond the muffled televisions and thrilled shrieks of children, the sighs of cars over the damp pavement, and the distant hum of caroling was the silence I craved.

That’s why I stared at the stars in earnest. I was hoping to hear a voice that I wouldn’t hear again.

I was neck-deep in nostalgia, mind swirling with the sweetness of freshly baked cookies and tearing wrapping paper. Another flake touched my cheek and melted almost instantly. The droplet of water slid down my jaw to my neck, where the collar of my sweater drank it up. My limbs were starting to feel heavy, but my visible breath was light. It swirled and whorled, reaching heights my body never could. As I watched my exhalations mix with the snow and night, I imagined those that I missed doing the same.

Were they all around me in spirit, releasing echoes of my breath? Were they able to see the same stars? Feel the same cold?

I looked down at my frozen fingers. My cold hands ached to be held, but not by me.

“Cass?”

I turned my head towards the back door, where the multi-colored string lights flickered on and off. My sister-in-law, Vanessa, stood with her head cocked, one eyebrow lifted.

“You’ve been out here for a while. Is everything okay?” she asked.

How can I tell her that my thoughts turned to sad poetry after the second glass of wine? How do I describe the way everyone’s commingling laughter sounded like breaking glass? I feel guilty. I feel alone. What a terrible thing to feel during the one holiday that’s supposed to bring everything together. For me, though, it’s a hollowing experience. People leave the party stuffed with food and arms weighed down by presents. But I didn’t eat, and I haven’t unwrapped my gifts.

I didn’t want to perform like that.

My sister-in-law’s expression deepened, and she looked ready to join me on the frosty lawn. So I heaved a great sigh, letting one last huff rise to the stars, and returned to the warmth of my in-law’s house.

“I’m okay,” I told Vanessa as I shook off the snowflakes. “I just needed a moment.”

She must’ve seen it in my eyes, because she tenderly touched my shoulder. “You’ve been through a lot. Go take a break.”

I pulled a smile before making my way towards the living room, where my nieces and nephews were rampaging, the dog was barking, and the TV showed a football game. My presents sat abandoned in a heap near the tree. Looking at them, my palms grew sweaty.

“Oh, Cassandra. The kids were wondering what you thought of your gift, but I saw you hadn’t opened it yet,” my brother John said as I sat down.

I couldn’t ignore the subtle nudge to start ripping paper. Working to turn my grimace into a smile, I walked haltingly over to my presents and looked at each one. There was a small one on the top that looked innocent enough. I tore the kittens-in-mittens themed paper off swiftly and came away with a small velveteen jewelry box that fit into the palm of my hand. Around me, the room went silent.

The hinges of the box creaked as I opened it.

Inside, the green gemstone winked at me the instant it caught the lights from the Christmas tree. My chest tightened, and I saw in my mind a different moment. The day my mom received the ring from my father for Christmas when I was 7 or 8. Dad, John, and I had spent hours in the jewelry store trying to decide which ring Mom would like most. We’d settled on a star-shaped emerald framed with four diamonds, two white, two blue. She’d worn it everywhere. No picture of her was complete without her star ring.

I couldn’t blame her. It was one of the most beautiful rings I’d ever seen, and I never thought I’d seen it again after the accident that had taken my parents away.

My vision blurred as I looked up from the jewelry box towards the others. John had risen from the couch and was turned away from me, but I knew my brother. I could see the tension in his shoulders. He carried his burdens the same way our father had: in silence.

Ring in hand, I moved to stand beside my brother.

“How did you get this?” I asked him, voice wobbling with my tears.

He looked down his nose at me and smiled. “You’re not the only one who thinks about them all the time, Cass.” Reaching out, he tapped the ring. “I drew the ring from memory and had a friend of mine remake it. What do you think?”

“I think,” I returned as I slipped on the ring, “Mom is very proud right now.”

John swallowed and nodded.

Putting an arm around him, I whispered, “Come outside with me.”

He gave me a quizzical look but followed me out into the snow. The backyard was swathed in white, and the snow was thicker than before. Yet, there were still windows to the glimmering stars through the clouds. I held up the ring to the sky.

“I wish they were here,” John muttered as he joined me in gazing up.

“As long as we remember them, they’ll always be here. At least, that’s what Dad would say.”

My brother snorted then grew somber. “Merry Christmas, Cass. Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for having me. Now let’s get back inside. I’ve got more presents to unwrap.”

-

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Thank you for reading this holiday 5 Minute Fiction. For those feeling a weight during the holidays this year, I see you. You're not alone.

Enjoy this 5 Minute Fiction and want more? Please subscribe! You can also follow updates on my Kofi page (https://ko-fi.com/varerii)... and I wouldn't mind a free coffee, either.