#4B Escorting For The Limelight Part 2: The Winner...

The following Monday afternoon, Ski & Nu quickly walked to the school courtyard together to have a quick meeting with Chrysanthemum about the escort competition.

"Hey Ski, hey Nu," Chrysanthemum said with a bright smile when she spotted them.

"Sup, Mum?" Both boys said in unison.

"I'd like to thank you both for accepting my escort tryout invitation. I am going to have my Tigerlily parade court fill out comment cards on you two, and I'm also going to have you both write a short statement explaining why you should win. My girl Krista will be helping with judging as well. We will all be judging your character, attitude, personality, and benevolence levels. Please email your statements to me at the same email address that I used to send your escort tryout invites. It is [email protected]. I will be making my decision on Friday. Meet me in the cafeteria after school on Friday at 2:45 sharp," Chrysanthemum said enthusiastically as she batted her eyelashes in a flirtatious way in Squire's direction.

"Bet," Ski replied.

"Magnificent," Nu responded.

As both young men left the school premises, the hamster wheels in their heads began to spin. Even though they were best friends, they both agreed that it was wartime, and both boys immediately went to work on developing a winning strategy.

Ahanu had about 30 minutes before he had to pick up his twin sisters from school. Just enough time to swing by the art store near the high school to pick up some supplies. He furiously drove to the art store and bought markers, construction paper & glitter. He was eager to make an Anti-Squire poster to display on decision day.

Meanwhile, Squire eagerly drove to the mall. He decided that he would have Anti-Nu buttons made and pass them out the day of the decision. He remembered seeing a kiosk for button-making at the mall when he was there buying tennis shoes the previous weekend. He had come up with a catchy slogan that he was sure would knock Chrysanthemum, Krista, and the Tigerlily court's wigs off.

On the Friday of Chrysanthemum's big decision, Squire & Ahanu both entered the cafeteria with determination.

"Lawd, if good looks could kill, Ski & Nu would have me casket-ready," Chrysanthemum whispered to Krista with a chuckle when she saw them walk into the cafeteria.

"You shouldn't joke like that, Mumita, but I feel you; both boys do look like a fresh snack!" Krista said with a cheesy grin.

Squire came through with freshly pressed khakis, a periwinkle button-down stiff-collared shirt with a diamond chain around his neck, and a head of regal cornrows that highlighted the unique physical legacy of his African ancestors. 

Ahanu came in with a large moss green t-shirt with his Blackfoot tribal symbol painted across it, stone-colored cargo pants, a dark denim jacket on, and tan Timberland boots on his feet. His shiny, jet-black, royal crown was perfectly parted down the middle and braided into two thick, twin plaits that stopped in the middle of his back.

Ahanu entered on the north side of the building; Squire entered on the east. Both boys were armed with their campaign materials.

Chrysanthemum and her court, along with Krista, were all seated at a long lunch table in the far left corner of the cafeteria. A large crowd had already gathered around the table. Many students had heard about the escort competition and wanted to see the carnage when the comp was over.

"Sup, Mum; sup, Krista?" Ahanu asked as he extended an eyebrow lift in Krista's direction.

Krista quickly blushed and looked down at her salmon-pink Crocs and their accompanying Barbie charms like they were the most interesting thing on the planet.

"We're here to vie for your attention, Mum," Squire said with a mischief-drenched grin. 

"Whatcha got, boys?" Chrysanthemum said with a curious sparkle in her chestnut eyes.

Ski pulled out an old-school boom box, turned it on, and began to breakdance to I Need Love by LL Cool J. As he did circular, aerial windmills on the floor, he chanted, "Vote for Squire, the mack, instead of Ahanu, the whack. 

Once Ski finished his fantastical 'Soul Train' moment, he began handing out 'Ski Tha Right Slope' buttons to Mum, Krista & the three members of Mum's Tigerlily parade court.

Then, to everyone's surprise, he began to rap the following verse:

🎵Ahanu's never even had a girlfriend...

🎵Because he is too nerdy to defend...

🎵 He straight-up has no rizz or charm; that's why he has never had a chickadee on his arm...

The crowd gasped at Squire's revelation. Ski felt a tinge of guilt for revealing his best friend's biggest secret, but hey, he wanted to win the escort competition.

Nu felt a pang of embarrassment in his gut. Ski, you wanna play hardball, huh? Alright, 'Little Dateless Nu' has something for you, Ahanu thought to himself angrily.

Once Ski finished his presentation and sat down. Nu stood up, pulled a handful of flowers from his backpack, and then slowly strolled over and handed a single Tiger lily flower to Mum and her three-girl parade court. Then, he dug into his backpack once again and handed a peach rose to Krista, accompanied by a passionate kiss on her left hand.

Thank you future hubby. Krista thought to herself excitedly.

Once the flower distribution portion of his presentation had commenced, Nu hung a handmade poster made of construction paper to a nearby cafeteria wall with four pushpins from his pants pocket. Nu's poster featured a well-drawn caricature-style Sharpie drawing of Squire with a humongous watermelon-sized head and a crown of glitter encircling it. There was also a cluster of ants on a picnic blanket drawn near the caricature's tennis shoe-clad feet.

"Everyone, this is Ski. His head is so big that he can barely fit in the building, and this is how he sees us, his peers, like ants beneath his feet," Nu added with a satisfied grin as he pointed to his Sharpie drawing. 

Then, suddenly, Nu pulled a black Sharpie from his denim jacket pocket, uncapped it, then drew huge balloon-sized muscles on the caricature's biceps with it.

"Bros and bro-ettes, these are Ski's gigantic muscles. But guess what? They are fake! He's a roid user, and that's no cap. He's been on them for a while now," Nu added as he pointed to the inflated muscles that he had just drawn on the Squire caricature, then immediately burst into a maniacal Woody Woodpecker-esque laugh.

The crowd howled with laughter at Ahanu's revelation while Squire blushed with guilt and embarrassment.

Chrysanthemum & Krista both covered their mouths in astonishment.

Chrysanthemum could not believe that both boys had gone to such lengths to become her escort. She did not want to be the reason for the breakup of their friendship.

"Stop it!" Chrysanthemum shouted adamantly. 

"You boys ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You did not have to turn on each other to try to win me over. I picked you two as escort prospects because you are both smart, community service-oriented, and have good hearts. You both have the highest GPAs in our senior class. I am very impressed with your accomplishments, but I was most impressed with the way you carried yourselves. Prior to today, I never saw you two cap on other people or say an unkind word about anyone; therefore, this competition is really an eye-opening experience for me."

"I had planned to pick both of you as my escorts until I saw this disgusting, heaping pile of negative BS that you both slung each other's way today. Your sorry-butt behavior has me rethinking my decision, but just so you know, my Tigerlily parade court and my special judge, Krista Cornellion, gave you both flying colors," Mum added with a hint of disappointment in her voice. 

"Additionally, I thought it would be fun to read your statements revealing your reasoning for wanting to win the escort competition live from my email account."

"Let's see what you both had to say. Maybe it will save your immature behinds after all," Mum said with a slightly nervous chuckle.

Chrysanthemum picked up her cellphone, then stood up from her chair and began reading aloud from her Gmail account.

"This response is from Ahanu. 'I want to be Chrysanthemum's escort for the Tigerlily parade because I want to be on TV and get more dating prospects as a result,'" Chrysanthemum read as she shook her head in disgust. 

"Squire's response says, 'I want to be Chrysanthemum's escort for the Tigerlily parade so that I can get discovered by a Hollywood scout and become a famous male model,'" Chrysanthemum read with a grimace.

"Ski, Nu, your vapid one-sentence statements cemented my decision to go to the parade solo dolo. This will be the first time in history that a Tigerlily Princess has gone to the Tigerlily parade unaccompanied. I am so disappointed in your self-absorbed answers. Neither of you mentioned representing underrepresented communities in the parade or combating stereotypes or enhancing diversity. You did not even think about what the parade would mean to your family and friends or our school community. Your responses just seemed to be about what the parade could do for you both personally," Chrysanthemum said sorely.

Both boys' mouths dropped open; they had not expected such a negative reaction from Chrysanthemum.

After a long talk about the escort competition and its negative outcome, Squire & Ahanu willingly apologized to each other and put the unpleasant exchange at the escort competition behind them and agreed that in the future they would both bow out gracefully from a competition that they were both in the running for to keep the peace rather than resorting to low blows and disrespectful behavior.

The afternoon of the Tigerlily parade, Ski & Nu decided to watch an action movie on Flyyflix at Nu's house to take their minds off of their loss. Right before the movie started, the preview for a new rom-com came on. The movie was called 'Don't Ever Sell Out Your Friendship To Impress a Girl.' Both boys looked over at each other and smiled sheepishly, then gazed up at the ceiling and said in unison, "Okay, God, we hear you," as they both hung their heads in mock shame and laughed out loud uncontrollably.