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342 Night of Infamy

For Saturday, December 7, Day 342 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

By Gerard DiLeoPublished about a year ago 2 min read
What's this world come to!

"Men," the severe, sunglasses-wearing man began, "ours is a special vocation. We are the elite force assigned to protect the most important man in the world."

"Here, here!" shouted another severe, sunglasses-wearing man.

"Everyone remembers—in Dallas of all places—that lone gunman taking out Dasher as the sleigh passed over Dealey Plaza last year. A moment of silence, please?"

A moment of silence ensued.

"Thank you," then he continued. "Now, there are many believers out there, but there are many non-believers, too." He put non-believers into air quotes. "Who knows what some people think? Anyways, it's our job to protect the big man."

"Here, here!"

"And we've learned from our horrible reindeer tragedy...it won't happen again!"

"Here, here!"

"Now, although the big man has vetoed any type of bullet-proof shielding for his sleigh, our R&D boys at the Pole have come up with a pretty nifty invention. They've found a way to multilayer glass where each layer slows and compresses around a bullet that's pushed into the next layer which slows and then cresses around the first compressed layer. This way, each layer has a larger friction grip than the previous one."

"Wow," exclaimed another of the severe men, "it works on a layer compression principle."

"Exactly. Until the final layer actually slows the bullet down to a standstill."

"Here, here!"

"But," wondered one of the severe men out loud, "how'd you get past his veto?"

"Here's the genius part. We made these glass panels teleprompters."

"I don't get it," offered another of the severe sunglasses-wearing men.

"We encircle the line-of-site periphery with them and put the big man's lists on them."

"He really has lists?"

"Yes," said one severe sunglasses-wearing man.

"Who's-been-good," said another.

"And Who's-been-bad," yet another added.

"And put them on the multilayered, compressed glass, and he thinks they're his lists to refer to as he goes from house to house. Brilliant!"

"Wait a dern minute!" shouted yet another severe sunglasses-wearing man. "Why does the big man need a Who's-been-bad list on his sleigh ride? All he has to do is know who's getting presents."

"The NSA," the severe sunglasses-wearing man said," has asked us to deliver other things from the sleigh besides presents."

________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Saturday, December 7, Day 342 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge.

366 WORDS (without A/N)

24 DAYS TO GO! THE STORIES KEEP HOME-STRETCHIN' ON IN THIS VOCAL CHALLENGE, 366 WORDS A DAY.

There are currently three Vocal writers in this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. (Naughty) Schäfer

• Rachel (Nice) Deeming

• Gerard (Vice) DiLeo

Microfiction

About the Creator

Gerard DiLeo

Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!

Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/

My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo

[email protected]

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Comments (6)

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  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    Guessing it's not lumps of coal either...

  • John Coxabout a year ago

    Hilarious as per always, Gerard. I laughed out loud at the twist!

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    I really want to see those "other things" delivered, especially this year.

  • Hehehehehehe I wanna deliver not nice things too!

  • D. J. Reddallabout a year ago

    Rendering it impossible to nick St. Nick--a bold plan!

  • Andrea Corwin about a year ago

    Oh yeah!! Please. NSA has the naughty tome. Did you happen to read my review of Red One, or see the movie….one line reminded me of it😁

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