335 — The 2024 Story-a-Day: Terms of Service
For Saturday, November 30, Day 335 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge
TERMS OF SERVICE
By continuing to read each story of this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge, you agree to the following:
1. You agree that each story you read is the best frickin' thing you've ever seen, in any medium, in any genre, of any time in history.
2. You agree that the drama presented has enough pathos and relevance to redefine what it means to be human, taking La Condition Humaine to heights even Melpomene would have found difficult to muster, Magritte to depict, or Andre Malraux to put into words.
3. You agree that the humor contained therein consists of a rapier wit so sharp, cutting, and relevant as to re-position the Muse, Thalia, once again, atop the pillar of lofty expectations. You agree to laugh, chuckle, guffaw, chortle, and cachinnate your way through such expositions, howling with amusement until you cry and your catatonic merriment must be attended by EMS jollification responders.
4. You agree that poets are pussies. Even those who claim to "tell a story" in their verse, rhymes, and/0r metrical compositions.
5. You agree that microfiction is cool, and those who write it are cooler than whatever pop hero rules the day currently. (Corollary: you agree that Stephen King takes just too damn long to get to the point.)
6. You don't "agree to disagree" with any of this, but pledge blind allegiance to these tenets, except to disagree with "there are no stupid questions."
7. You agree that iambic pentameter is just plain pedantic, at best, and just a big waste of time, at worst.
8. You agree that authors who write novels just haven't figured out how to serialize their work into a monetized, microfictional series that count as a story-a-day.
9. You agree the Nobel committee doesn't know what's good writing—at all. (And don't even get me started on their ridiculous Peace Prize.)
10. You agree that L.C. Schäfer, Rachel Deeming, and Gerard DiLeo are the new "it" authors for any reasonable literary agent to consider.
11. You agree that this Terms of Service treatise stands alone as its own legitimate, validated, 366-worded, submission to the L.C. Schäfer 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge, in lieu of a legitimate, validated. 366-worded submission.
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AUTHOR'S NOTES:
For Saturday, November 30, Day 335 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge.
366 WORDS (without A/N)
31 DAYS TO GO! THE STORIES KEEP COMING ON IN THIS VOCAL CHALLENGE, 366 WORDS A DAY.
There are currently three Vocal writers in this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:
• L.C. (Challenger) Schäfer
• Rachel (Challengee) Deeming
• Gerard (Chartreuse with envy) DiLeo
About the Creator
Gerard DiLeo
Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!
Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo
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Comments (4)
Lol, agreed because why the heck not! No EMS jollification so far but who knows what lurks in the future?
Nahhhh, I'll pass 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Nearly brilliant bit of fine print. I was pretty much on board, too and ready to sign up until my sharp powers of deduction realized I had been called a poetic pussie.......Just who are you calling a pussie, you ole' prose wussie?
Okay. Fine. I agree.