173 — Omphaloskepsis
For Friday, June 21, Day 173 of the Story-a-Day Challenge
Since conception I've been tethered--codependent on someone. I drag with me my umbilical cord, pulsatile with my life. It begins--on me; but it ends on a clump of receptive tissue seeking purchase of my next attachment.
Artery and vein, taking and receiving. The circulatory dynamics are such that I can't control the balance. Most relationships are two-way, an interchange, an exchange transfusion.
Of attachment. Of will.
Sometimes one vessel is gorged with my outflow. Sometimes the other collapses its walls, denying exchange. Sometimes--simultaneously--the gorging flows out while collapse prohibits a fair trade.
That is my life with you.
You take, I give; I give all, but you fail to reciprocate. What kind of a cord is this, when the clump of receptive tissue conspires in partnership with this rout? One end of the cord gluts and laughs; the other end--me--gasps for breath.
You are suffocating me!
My fetal arrest is finalized by your gaslight nurturing. I cannot have a life of my own, tethered to you via a cord with a true knot in it.
I attempt retreat to distance myself from you. That knot tightens. Of course it tightens; then the circulation is constricted.
That!
That's why it's so hard to pull completely away. The more I try, the harder it is; and the more hypoxic I become.
Yours is a sensibility that the more rope I'm allowed, the more likely I'll hang myself. A completely taut knot allows no flow of life at all. Asphyxiation via a knot or enough rope to wrap my neck--there is no difference.
But I try. I must.
I venture. I stray. The knot tightens. My life force falls. I am doomed to failure--to perpetual tethering to you. The hypoxia hurts. I am desperate to take a breath. A cleansing breath. But while the hypoxia hurts, the knot doesn't.
The cord by which I'm tethered has no nerve endings. Thus, it doesn't hurt when I cut it.
I'm finally on my own. And nothing feels better than my first honest inhalation of fresh air, signifying my rebirth. And while birth is fraught with pain and cries, the pain falls away to you and my cries are those of joy.
__________
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This was inspired by the "top story," Cutting Cord Ritual (at https://shopping-feedback.today/poets/cord-cutting-ritual), a powerful poem by Kay Husnick.
For Friday, June 21, the second-longest day of the year, Day 173 of the Story-a-Day Challenge
366 WORDS (without A/N)
Title-accompaniment photo was AI-generated but the metaphor was not.
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There are currently three surviving Vocal writers still participating in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:
• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator
• Rachel Deeming
• Gerard DiLeo (some other guy)
Read them. Support them. Pray for them. And watch as they're given enough rope...
About the Creator
Gerard DiLeo
Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!
Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo
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Comments (7)
This reminded me of something I saw on Facebook, which was along the lines of, 'Mommy’s Boys are guys who still have their umbilical cord attached to their moms". Lol
Well-wrought! I came to think of it like two living marionettes hopelessly bound to each other with no puppeteer, whence came my understanding, formulated as an open question: when mirror regards mirror, which is the reflection?
This is very well written. Someone who loves you will give as equally as they take. My ex boyfriend used to take it all, and I learned that was all I was worth until I met my husband who taught me what love really was about.
Amazing use of the umbilical cord as a metaphor for connection and exchange of vital relational fluids, Gerard!
These suffocating relationships but particularly those that are meant to be nurturing. Nicely done, Gerard. How are you holding up?
one word: FANTASTIC! my first husband was exactly like that. the more I gave, the more he, not just took, but expected. I stopped caring. I still maintained my dignity but, caring was no longer an option for me. He left to be with his girlfriend (of many years) not long after. Yes, you're so right, sometimes the umbilical cord can be nothing more than a hangman's noose.
The metaphor of the umbilical cord symbolizes the interconnectedness and reliance between two individuals. The imagery of circulation and constriction powerfully portrays the suffocation and hypoxia experienced when one end of the relationship dominates while the other gasps for breath. Thank you very much for sharing!