You Saved Me, Son

There could be no possible way. I literally almost died from a fentanyl and cocaine overdose a week prior, where they had to give me Narcan at least three times that I can remember. The nurses had asked me at the hospital if I could be pregnant, and I laughed it off. How could I possibly be pregnant? With my life? What a joke? They did not test me that day, which they probably should have.

I spent a horrendous week of the world worst withdrawals on my mother’s couch, before checking into a rehab. When I say this week was awful, I mean it. All I could do was sleep, barely eat, and had the worst aches and pains imaginable. Don’t get me started on the gross side of it, cause let me tell you, it was disgusting, The first thing they do when you get there is give you a drug screen and a pregnancy test. Little did I know, I was going to be told I was pregnant about two minutes and three pregnancy test later.

Pure terror erupted through me. Who was the father? I was seeing this great guy, who had left me because of my drug abuse, but I had also been date raped at a party one night. It could have been either. Was my child okay? How far along was I? I had so many questions.

The next day, they took me for a blood test that confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. It was showed I was only around 3 weeks, so if I stayed clean, my child should be fine. Then, I was told I had to find a different rehab. The rehab I was at was not prepared to take care of a pregnant girl, so I was being sent to a place in California.

You should have heard what everyone was telling me was my options. From the get-go, everyone told me to get an abortion or to put the child up for adoption. I refused both. I knew I was going to raise this child and get my life together no matter the cost. This child deserved a fighting chance, and this child deserved a mother. You could not describe it.

The next doctor’s appointment, I had the option to have a blood test to find out the gender. Of course, I did. I had a dream I was going to have a boy, and wouldn’t you know it, he was a boy! My perfect little boy. They say if your first child is a boy, you need to know love, and it is so true.

I found out through a DNA test, that my son belonged to the guy that I hoped he belonged to, and we actually worked things out. We ended up getting married around when my son was 6 months old. He has stood by my side through every part, now that he sees the person I am today. I am thankful he choose to walk away when he did, because what if I had ended up taking him down with me? He’s too good of a man. He also works so hard for our family.

My son was born perfectly healthy, has passed every milestone, is smarter than he should be, and will be three in three months. The dream I had while I was pregnant including my son being blonde haired and blue eyed, and wouldn’t you know, he is.

Today, I am a mother and a wife. I am a sister, a daughter, and a granddaughter again. I am attending college to become a project manager, work a full-time job, have over three and a half years sober, and share various parts of my story as a can. Check out my other story “From Hopeless Dope Fiend to Dopeless Hope Fiend”.