You grow up with me, I'll grow old with you

　　 You grow up with me, I grow old with you

　　 Perhaps, indeed, you are not a good person. You hold a grudge, not at all what magnanimity. What no spectrum of things also dares to do, completely no scruples. Bad temper, everything can not sink, always very easy to offend people.

　　 People around me always say that I am like you. I am not very willing to resemble you. Because I do not see, this is what praise.

　　 However, this kind of you, one day 20 years ago, from the moment you kissed my forehead, took root in my heart. I never deliberately miss you and never forget.

　　 That year you were 26 years old, you were still lost and confused, you had nothing, and you met the most important woman in your life. Under your persistent pursuit, there was finally a wedding photo. At that time, you were young and handsome, embracing your equally beautiful and beautiful mother, full of happiness.

　　 When I was two years old, you were 28. Fatherhood is a profession that has changed you a lot. You began to work hard to earn money to support the family. You have racked your brains to start a business, you have lived in the wind, you have been belittled, but you have never had a successful career. And I became a left-behind child as a matter of course. I don't understand a man who comes home once a year. Every time I came home, your hugs did not make me stay, my eyes were only on the toys and snacks you brought back.

　　I was 11 years old, you were 38, and you hit me for the first and only time. The first and only time you've ever hit me was when you brought back a test paper full of red crosses, and I didn't care, watching cartoons with great interest. You got angry, tore the test paper to pieces, and gave me a hard slap. I covered my face, rushed into my room, and cried all afternoon. You knocked hard on the door outside of the room, and I was still indifferent. I didn't understand your intentions. You laughed and said, "I promise I will never do it again, I can't help you. Later, never hit me again.

　　 The year of junior high school, I was 15 and you were 42. You picked me up and dropped me off every weekend, rain or shine. I agreed with my best friend to go to the same high school, but you firmly refused and insisted that I take another high school. You were unwilling to take the risk that circumstances would affect your future. Despite 10,000 reluctances, I did not fail you, and later, I entered that high school as you wished. You smiled and exchanged pleasantries with your teachers, I parted ways with my best friend, I was resentful and I never understood you.

　　 In 2013, I was 18 years old and you were 45. At this point, you can read a chemical equation but can't help solve a problem. You could read a few words, but had no way to say what they meant. You cooked for me, you took great pains to instill chicken soup for me, and as my grades drifted, I could see your anxiety. On the last day of the college entrance examination, when I stepped out of the examination room at that moment, you suddenly appeared in front of me, hugged me, and did not ask anything. I couldn't see your expression, I just wanted to hold you tighter. When filling out the volunteer, you said it was good to study medicine and teacher training, I said it was good to read forestry and Chinese. As it turned out, we didn't convince anyone.

　　 This year I am 20 years old and you are 47. I am far away from home, I have slowly gotten used to school life and don't think about you often. You still care about the weather in Changchun and call me now and then. You can tell me that your blood sugar has dropped recently, your phone number has changed, and your driver's license has been completed. I'll tell you about the recent exams, there are competitions, there are sports. I will not tell you that I often sleep in school, or sometimes cry when aggrieved, I will only say that I am doing well because you will be at ease. And in fact, the father must have his daughter, always report the good news, not the bad, which is learned from you.

　　Nowadays, I still can't learn to be pampered in front of you, and I haven't said a word about I love you. Every time I go home, at the exit of the train station I know that there is a person who is always waiting for me. I begged you to make boiled fish and then praised you a lot, you would watch non-committal with me, I would stay at home for a few days and then I would run away from home. You still have a bad temper and sometimes argue with your mother and get red in the face. I still get angry with you, and then every time I take the initiative to apologize.

　　Now you are starting to take the initiative to listen to me and are no longer dictatorial and domineering. I left home to go to a distant place to study, and you still do not feel at ease, in your heart I will always be a child.

　　 I used to say that if one day I could meet someone, I would go with him to the ends of the earth. You said you were sad, and at that time I complained that you did not know how to be romantic. Later, when I watched a father deliver his daughter to another man at the wedding site, just said, I have been hurting for so many years, you do not let her suffer. The bride began to tear up, and at that moment, I understood that in this world, the love of her parents can never be returned. No matter who you meet, no one will be more unconditional than your parents to accommodate you and love you.

　　I've written many articles about you, but I've never been able to write them well, and I don't know how to write them with magnificent words. I was such a lazy and stupid person who couldn't do anything right, but you spoiled me for so many years. I don't have much of a dream, have always let you down, like to go against you, didn't bring you much pride.

　　 The love affair in the last life is deep, this life is flesh and blood. For the first half of your life, I can not participate, in the second half of your life, I accompanied you to the end. I will grow up slowly, maybe, 5 years later, 10 years later, I will get married and have children, you will slowly grow old, but I will try to be a happy person so that you can rest assured, but also definitely make you happy.

　　 Dad, you grow up with me, I'll grow old with you.