Why We Finally Decided to Try Couples Counseling in New York

One couple's journey into therapy, the turning points that led us there, and why we chose Relationshipsandmore.com

I never imagined we’d be the couple who needed counseling.

When we first met in a tiny coffee shop in Brooklyn, the energy between us was electric. It was the kind of connection that felt cinematic—late-night walks, deep conversations, and a shared sense that we’d found our person in the midst of a chaotic city. But fast forward several years, a shared apartment, and countless life transitions later, and that same spark had dimmed beneath layers of resentment, stress, and silence.

We live in New York. Everything here moves fast—the people, the trains, the expectations. You wake up running and fall asleep exhausted. Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of each other.

And that’s how we ended up searching for “couples counseling near me” on a rainy Tuesday night, unsure what to expect but fully aware that something had to change.

Here’s our story, why we chose to get help, and how we found Relationshipsandmore.com—an experience that’s been a lifeline for us and could be one for you too.

Living in New York Amplifies Relationship Stress

If you live in the city or anywhere in the greater New York area, you know how intense life can get. High rent. Long commutes. Career ambitions that never stop pulling you in every direction. There’s barely time to breathe, let alone check in emotionally with your partner.

We weren’t unique in that sense. We were like most couples we knew—busy, overextended, and telling ourselves we’d connect more “when things calm down.” But they never did.

Instead, we started arguing over dishes and disconnecting emotionally. I was internalizing everything, and my partner began pulling away. We both felt invisible in the relationship, and that pain started showing up in all the small moments—missed dinners, short tempers, weekends spent scrolling on opposite ends of the couch.

New York demands so much from us, and in the chaos, we stopped being each other’s soft place to land.

The Common Reasons Couples in New York Seek Counseling

Looking back now, we can clearly see the signs that counseling could help us. And based on what we’ve learned at Relationshipsandmore.com—a counseling practice based in Westchester, NY—we’re not alone.

Here are just a few of the reasons couples in New York (and everywhere, really) seek counseling:

1. Communication Breakdowns

We stopped knowing how to talk to each other without it turning into a fight. Simple conversations felt like landmines. If we brought up feelings, someone would get defensive. If we tried to set boundaries, it became a blame game.

Counseling helped us relearn how to talk. Not just about the logistics of the day but about what we feel—and how to express that without tearing each other down.

At Relationshipsandmore.com, communication skills are one of the most common focus areas. Their therapists help couples build healthier ways to express themselves, really listen to each other, and rebuild emotional intimacy that’s been lost.

2. Life Transitions

Career changes, relocations, losing a job, planning a family, dealing with illness—life in New York is full of curveballs. When one of us took on a demanding new job, our entire dynamic shifted. We were in survival mode.

Therapy gave us space to process these transitions together. To say things like, “I’m scared,” or “I feel abandoned,” or “I need you to show up differently right now.”

Couples counseling at Relationshipsandmore.com is designed to help partners navigate transitions like these with empathy instead of resentment.

3. Unresolved Past Hurts

Not everything gets fixed with time. Sometimes, the old wounds just fester. Whether it was an argument that went too far or a betrayal of trust—those moments stick around and shape how we relate to each other.

I realized in counseling that I was holding on to anger I had never even spoken aloud. My partner, meanwhile, felt I’d shut them out emotionally and didn’t know how to get back in.

Our therapist helped us unpack those hurts in a way that didn’t re-traumatize us but helped us understand how to heal. We learned how to apologize in a meaningful way. How to forgive—not forget, but forgive—and move forward.

4. Sexual and Emotional Disconnect

Let’s be honest: intimacy is hard to talk about. Especially when it’s lacking.

We had fallen into a pattern of avoidance. No romance, no affection. It felt awkward and even shameful to bring it up. But we learned through therapy that intimacy issues are common and treatable. They’re often the result of deeper emotional disconnects, stress, trauma, or communication problems—not just chemistry or physical attraction.

Relationshipsandmore.com approaches intimacy with compassion and clinical insight. Their therapists understand that sex and emotional closeness are interconnected, and they work to help couples rebuild trust, desire, and affection in a way that feels natural again.

5. Parenting Conflicts

We’re not parents (yet), but many of our friends in the city are—and the stories they share about how parenting tests a relationship are intense.

Couples counseling helps parents align on values, navigate exhaustion, and prevent their relationship from being completely consumed by the demands of raising children. If we do choose to start a family, we’re grateful to already have a counselor who knows us and can help guide that transition.

6. Preventative Counseling

One thing I wish we’d known sooner: you don’t have to wait for a crisis to seek help.

Some of the happiest, healthiest couples we know go to therapy preventatively—like a relationship tune-up. It’s not about fixing something broken; it’s about staying strong, connected, and intentional.

Westchester’s Relationshipsandmore.com actually encourages this kind of proactive approach. They even offer premarital counseling and support for newlyweds or committed couples looking to set a strong foundation.

Why We Chose Relationshipsandmore.com

There are hundreds of therapists in New York. So why did we choose this practice?

Location: We live just outside the city now, and Westchester felt like a more grounded setting than Manhattan. The team at Relationshipsandmore.com offers in-person and online counseling, which gave us flexibility.

Specialization in Relationships: Not every therapist is a couples therapist. We needed someone trained in relational dynamics—not just general talk therapy. Relationshipsandmore.com focuses on marriage and couples therapy, which meant they had the tools and insight we needed.

Reputation and Comfort: When we found their site, the tone immediately felt warm and welcoming. Their team includes licensed therapists who specialize in things like emotionally focused therapy (EFT), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and solution-focused therapy—all tailored to couples’ needs.

Plus, the intake process was smooth, and we were matched with someone who felt like the right fit.

What Counseling Has Done for Us (So Far)

Therapy didn’t magically “fix” us. But it gave us something more important: a new language to understand and care for each other.

We started recognizing our patterns. The way I shut down when I feel criticized. The way my partner raises their voice when they feel scared. We stopped labeling each other as “the problem” and started looking at the cycle we were caught in.

With our therapist’s help, we’ve started to rewrite that cycle. Slowly. Gently. With a lot of humility.

It’s not easy work. But it’s sacred work. And I don’t think we’d still be together without it.

How to Know If Couples Counseling Is Right for You

If you’re reading this, part of you is already curious. Maybe hopeful. Maybe terrified. I get it. So here’s what I’d say to anyone wondering if they should try couples therapy in New York:

• Are you arguing more than connecting?
• Do you feel distant even when you’re physically together?
• Do you miss your partner but don’t know how to reach them?
• Are you navigating a huge life change and feeling out of sync?
• Do you love each other, but feel stuck?

If you said yes to any of those, it’s worth reaching out. Even if it’s just one session to explore what you’re feeling.

Final Thoughts: We All Deserve Support

Relationships are hard. Beautiful, messy, infuriating, and tender—sometimes all in the same day. And in a place like New York, the pressure is dialed up to 11.

I used to think counseling was a last resort. Now I see it as one of the most loving choices we’ve made. We’re learning how to choose each other again, day by day.

If you’re ready to take that step—or even just explore it—I’d highly recommend reaching out to the team at Relationshipsandmore.com. Whether you’re newly dating, engaged, married, or somewhere in between, they can help you reconnect, rebuild, and rediscover what brought you together in the first place.

Because love isn’t just something that happens to us. It’s something we nurture. And sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is ask for help.