Whooo Am I?

Somewhere in the middle of a forest in a land far away there is an owl named Millie searching for some pretty deep answers about herself.

Up until now, life has been simple - she lives with her family of owls - her mom, dad and three brothers. She is surrounded by beautiful, tall trees and forest animals, which either fall into the category of friends, enemies, or of course, food.

Don’t get me wrong, Millie loves the deep, lush forest she calls home.

She loves the Spring because it’s fun to watch the veil of colors appear; pink buds burst through the snow covered ground and a faint green aura envelops the trees.

She loves the Summer because she can lose track of time sitting in the hot sun on the tippiest top of the tallest tree to watch the sunset before dinner. Plus, mom always cooks extra special dinners in the summer because there is extra food running around everywhere!

She loves the Fall because it’s romantic to watch the leaves age and let go with grace - not to mention how wild and free she feels flying through the fire colored leaves.

And of course - she loves the winter, because that is when things slow down, nights are long and her family burns fires for hours together.

But still, she has questions.

“Mom, whooo am i?” she asks one cold winter evening, while she is snuggled up to her mom before bed as her brothers flew around the pines furiously, letting out the last of their energy for the day.

“Well, you are an owl named Millie, dear! What on earth do you mean?” her mom asks, perplexed by the depth of the question her youngest child just proposed.

“Well, don’t you also hear that other voice inside of you? The one that tells you that there is more than just your name and species?”

Her mom let out a confused “whoot” and told Millie to sleep on it, but Millie couldn't let it go. She decided that she would take the day to fly around and survey her forest friends on this.

The next day after breakfast, Millie knew exactly which of her forest friends she would be brain-picking. First up, Delhi the Deer. Delhi was grazing peacefully on his own, minding his own business when Millie sharply swooped down next to him.

“Holy Holly, Millie! You scared me!”

“Sorry, Delhi! I am on a mission today and really excited about it!”

“Ooh, what are you hunting today?” said Delhi with an impressed yet fearful tone - as an herbivore, he doesn't understand the need for all the ferocity and frenzy of carnivores.

“Well actually today I am hunting for answers, not food” Millie could hardly contain her excitement and her wings flapped so hard some feathers flew out and settled like snow as she asked Delhi…

“Whooo am I, Delhi?”

“Well an owl named Millie, and my friend, of course!” Delhi exclaimed. He was so proud and convinced he got the answer right, but then Millie elaborated…

“Do you not hear that other voice inside of you, the one that is yearning for something else, something new, something unknown?!”

“Oooh, Millie I don’t know or think about anything beyond the forest….it scares me too much! You should ask Finnley, she’s really brave!” said Delhi as he pranced with nervousness and continued chewing on his greens.

Millie thought asking Finnley was a great idea, so she hurried over to the fox den.

“Finnley! Finnley!” Millie hooted as she soared over the lair - Finnley has even better hearing than Millie so before she knew it Finnley was meeting her as she landed in the clearing.

“Hey Millie!” Finnley said, almost yelling, as she ran and jumped around Millie. She thought Millie was coming to go hunting for lunch together, but noticed Millie was showing up with a different energy about her. “What's going on? What’s the plan? Are you hungry? let’s go!”

“Hey Finnley! I am actually here to pick your brain about something first! Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure!” said Finnley, eager to hear where this was going as she was really bored that morning.

“Whooo am I and Whooo are you? Do you hear that other voice inside of you, the one that is yearning for something else, something new, something unknown?!”

Finnley stopped jumping around and tilted her head to the side as she thought intently about what Millie just asked.

“Well, that is the only voice I hear, Millie! You’re an owl and I am a fox and I am always looking for the next big adventure in these woods!”

Millie nodded and spun her head around in confirmation - “That is true, you are the most adventurous - but do you ever wonder what is outside the forest? Do you think that maybe there is a place that exists where it is always only summer and hot or that maybe somewhere the lakes and rivers are bigger and move faster?” asked Millie, realizing that as she asked more of her friends she was able to explain her question better.

“I haven't ever thought about that, Millie - i think i just always assumed that this was it! But now i am definitely going to contemplate this...we should go ask Tiara! she is always so relaxed and she’s top of the food chain - she must know something we don't know!”

Millie agreed - she was confident that Tiara the tiger would be able to shed some light on this - it made sense to her that being one of the most powerful creatures in the forest would grant you some deeper inner knowledge of some kind. So, Finnley joined Millie in a fast sprint as Millie soared towards the willow tree where Tiara always took her long nap after her big lunch.

As they approached the tree and saw Tiara’s fire orange coat poking out from behind the fat trunk, Finnley exclaimed up into the air - “She’s still sleeping, Millie - do we wake her?!”

But of course, cat ears are something else, so Tiara stirred and turned around as the tip of her tail did a little shake.

“I’m up, Finnley - thank you for the alarm of your voice, I almost slept too long per usual so this is a welcomed wake up - what are you two kids doing around my parts during lunch time?”

Finnley looked at Millie, her eyes wide and her tongue hanging out of her mouth with excitement as Millie explained….

“I have a question that I can't seem to get the answer to, Tiara!”

“Hit me” said Tiara, lazily.

“Do you hear that other voice inside of you, the one that is yearning for something else, something new, something unknown?! Do you ever wonder what is outside of the woods?”

Tiara took a deep yawn and licked her paws as she contemplated the question with lackadaisical grace…

“You know, Millie, that is a great question. I have known a few animals to wander outside of the forest in search of something different, but I never understood why. We have everything we need here, what could possibly be out there that we would need or want?”

Millie thought about this and once again realized that the more she proposed the question, the more she was able to define what she really meant by it.

“Well, you know how you really love this willow tree? What if there is a forest that is full of ONLY willow trees? What if there is water that is salty? What if there are animal species we don’t even know exist?!” Millie was getting herself riled up just thinking about all the possibilities.

Tiara was grinning and purring - she loved seeing young forest animals dream and look inward for answers even though she wasn’t the most curious about venturing out into the unknown. But she knew that Millie was tapping into her soul, and knew exactly the right resource for her to learn more.

“I love your question but I cannot help you - go talk to Buddha, he has the information you are seeking” and just like that, Tiara’s heavy body collapsed onto the earth beneath the tree and her purring got louder as she decided she would extend her nap that day.

Millie and Finnley quickly but silently fluttered and sprinted away.

“This is my last resort! Buddha is the wisest and oldest creature in the forest, he must know what I am looking for!” Millie said nervously as she rocketed through the thick trees, buzzing with fervor and eager to learn.

Buddha the bear was not hibernating anymore - the winter was coming to an end soon and he always emerged a bit early to get the lay of the land before everyone else. He was their leader, after all. Millie and Finnley found him sleeping on a large log crossing the frozen rapids - he must have been scoping out the salmon situation….

“Buddha! Buddha!” Millie and Finnley exclaimed. Millie couldn't even fly fast enough, her wings were flapping as intensely as she could muster. As she landed on the log next to Buddha, Finnley hopping up right behind her, she almost fell over and Buddha’s ear hair actually swayed in the breeze of her wings.

“Woah there, Millie! What’s going on, is everything alright?” Buddha had a deep, calming voice. No matter how vigorous Millie showed up, Buddha would remain cool, calm and collected.

“Yes. Well, no. I don't know, Buddha! I have questions I cannot seem to find answers to and you are my last resort… please help!” Millie was starting to panic. What if she didn't get an answer? What if this voice inside of her was really just her losing her mind? What if this voice inside of her was something she was supposed to ignore?”

“Okay, I can give it a try - what is the question?”

“Whooo am I, Buddha?”

Before Millie needed to over explain, Buddha took a deep sigh and looked her deep in the eyes…

“Sounds like maybe you are in a bit of a soul search, Millie”

“Soul Search? What in the woods is a soul?!” Finnley chimed in, incapable of containing her own curiosity.

And so Buddha explained….

“We all have one. It’s a deeper inner knowing that lives in all of us. We are not just one dimensional, you know. There is more to us. And sometimes, you are born with this voice, sometimes it takes time to develop and some creatures never hear it - they just live and die in these woods happily ever after and that is great! But some of us - like you, Millie - are unable to hide from our soul because it’s speaking to us too loudly to ignore. You see, there is one of you but there is a side of you that is content with going through the automatic motions - you wake up, you eat, you go to school, you spend time with your friends and family, you go to sleep and you do it again. You live by the seasons, you follow the rules. But, it’s okay if there is a part of you that wants more. It’s okay to feel that there might be more. And it is certainly okay to listen to that voice, Millie.”

“But, does that mean that there actually is more to life than the forest? What is out there, Buddha?!” the girls began to get nervous and delighted at the same time - Millie was ready to plan an adventure and Finnley was more than happy to come with her.

“Out there, there is more. More of everything. And sometimes more of everything isnt a good thing but sometimes it is. You see, i have spent time outside of this forest. I have met creatures, specifically birds - different from your kind, Millie, but still birds - that are always moving around and trying new places. Sure, it can be scary and you never know who you’re going to meet, but that is the exciting part. Kind of like you, Millie, as a young cub I could sense that there was more out there beyond the forest, and as soon as I was old enough I left to explore. Some animals never come back - they find a place they feel more like home. But I did. I knew that I had to leave and experience things, but that ultimately the forest is my home and my family of bears is who I wanted to be with. But, if i had never left home, maybe i wouldn't know it was what i really wanted deep down - does that make sense?”

Finnley and Millie looked overwhelmed, so Buddha continued...

“Millie, you are an owl named Millie. But you are also whoever and whatever you want to be. If your soul tells you that you belong in a bear’s body, well then that is just fine because that is how you feel. If your soul tells you that you want to leave and explore outside of the forest, that is also fine. Maybe your soul is telling you that hunting for food isn't something you want and that eating only greens like me and Delhi is more your calling….whatever is going on in that spinning little noggin of yours, don't be afraid of it. Don't fight it. And don't think that you need to fit into anyone’s box. You be You, Millie”

Millie felt a wave of warmth wash over her. She felt like for the first time in her life she was being understood deeply... almost like Buddha was reading her mind! She could sense that it was their souls communicating. And she knew that this was the day she realized she was going to have to be one of the birds that ventured out of the forest. She needed to know that if she was going to stay in the woods, it was because she really, deep down wanted to be in the woods. She didn't know how her family would feel, but she knew in that moment that what she wanted was the most important thing because listening to her own soul would be the only way to be the best daughter, sister, and owl she could be.

Millie often felt nervous and scared after this moment because she knew she was going to take risks. She knew that there would be opportunities for change and new things - good or bad - but that it was something she needed to do. Her soul continued to get louder as time grew on, and Buddha was right - it was impossible to ignore.

Millie learned something important this winter - listen and honor your soul, for that deep inner voice is the truest one and the compass Home.