What Will Smith's Slap did to Black Sons

As a youth justice advocate, I work mainly with young men of color who are trying to claw their way out of the youth detention system. In most cases, their fathers have been one of two types: either completely absent from their lives, or modelling or encouraging of violent behavior. In light of this, I feel like the most important thing I can offer our youth is the consistent and caring mentorship of a fellow man of color. Sadly, in the celebrity world, there haven’t been many truly positive black mentors for these young men, or for myself. Ill Smith was one of the precious few ---- right up until Oscar Night. That's when "Will" became "Ill" to me.

I was actually one of Ill’s first-ever supporters, back when he was nothing but a young Philly emcee. Being the only kid at my school who listened to Hip Hop, I literally ran out to buy the 17-year-old prodigy’s double-vinyl album, He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper: a positive and playful romp through 80’s teen life that was an antidote to the emerging Gangster Rap genre. It goes without saying that Ill spread the love and helped to shift societal perceptions of Black possibility (as did another fallen hero — Bill Cosby) in his acting debut series, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It remains a favorite show for my youth today. I must say, in his movies he often seemed to be trying to prove his toughness in order to break the image of that clownish first role. But through it all, he remained a beacon of Black success, an example for all of us in the way stereotypes and barriers can be kicked aside. And then, that slap happened.

"Ill" Smith did not prove he was tough on Oscar Night. He did not show manliness or chivalry, nor did he come out as a heroic defender of Black women. "Ill" Smith demonstrated that when push comes to shove, he is the exact same kind of role model my youth have grown up with, and are still healing from. And, as I work to complete a master’s degree on mentorship for men of color, here are the reasons why I think Mr. Smith’s violent act may have hurt young Black men the most:

1) There’s no Doubt that Violent Role Modelling only leads to More Violence.

Violence goes down the generations: it’s a proven fact. Countless studies have shown that rates of youth violence are correlated with rates of elder-male violence. Young boys imitate the men in their life — whether right or wrong — and a father’s violent actions will be realized and enacted by his son. The longer that violence is perpetuated as an extension of the emotion of anger, the longer young men will lash out.

2) Violence Hurts Relationships.

There were some (OK maybe just the one: comedian Tiffany Haddish) who heralded Ill Smith’s slap to Oscar host Chris Rock as a “beautiful” act, and a demonstration of man’s altruism for dishonored spouse. But the reality is that an act of violence, even if the motivation is arguably justified, and especially when it is seen by children (or, in this case, millions of members of the public both young and old), produces trauma that can remain buried and have lifelong effects on relationships. Studies show that 32% of children who witness their parents committing violent acts are reported to show highly aggressive behavior in their interactions — more than twice the rate of those who do not witness violence. And, boys show much higher levels of aggressive behavior than girls.

3) Yes, it is a Black thing.

A study in the Journal of Early Adolescence showed direct links between violent role modelling by Black fathers and violent behavior and attitudes toward violence by Black sons: more-so than for Whites and other races. Whether or not they intend to, Black men like "Ill" Smith are effectively giving permission to Black boys to engage in violence as a solution or resolution.

It is troubling to think of the millions upon millions of young Black men who watched the viral video of Ill Smith’s ‘slap heard round the world’ - and consider how it may have affected their approach to problem-solving.

Mentoring Black and brown youth is about meeting them where they’re at, and helping them to find their inner strength and discipline. If you are a man of color who is motivated to counteract the impacts of violence on youth, consider joining a mentorship organization, and giving guidance to our young men of color — they need you!