What Motherhood Has Taught Me About Writing Success

Everything I do now determines my future

He’s not going to know how to read overnight because I read him a bedtime story;

He’s not going to know how to walk tomorrow just because I lifted him up and bounced him up and down;

I don’t expect him to understand me when I talk to him.

Everything I do now is for his future.

I read to him in the hopes that he will like to read someday;

I lift him up and bounce him on his feet so he can get used to the sensation of being on them and hopefully build his muscles so it’ll be easier for him to learn how to walk.

I talk to him hoping that he will grasp the language sooner rather than later, but I know it won’t be now.

Sometimes the concept of delayed gratification still eludes me. I know that anything I do now will not have a significant impact. Now. But it will in the foreseeable future. It may not be next week or even next month but the results will come. I just need to keep at it.

We understand this concept in theory — that we won’t see immediate results from the actions we take now; that progress and success takes time to achieve. We understand this when it comes to others but when it comes to ourselves, we don’t give ourselves hope for the future. We’d rather settle for short term gratification than put the hard work in for long term success.

As we’ve heard over and over again, there is no such thing as overnight success. Real success is a result of years of perseverance and hard work.

There’s never an easy out and there’s no such thing as long term success if our goal is instant gratification.

My hope for the future depends on the actions I take now.

Patience really is a virtue

Especially patience with myself.

It can be so easy to get frustrated with ourselves, with our weaknesses, inexperience or lack of knowledge.

Everything takes time.

Anything great takes time to create and we are no different whether it’s being a parent or being a writer — great work takes time.

I have to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day and it’s important to take it one step at a time.

Creating a great person takes time.

There’s no such thing as being done

Parenting is never-ending. There is always something to do and once we’re done with one thing, there’s always another.

It’s the same with writing.

It’s never over and we’re never done.

There’s always a new idea, a new project, a new story to write.

“True, it’s not over till it’s over. And even when it’s over, it just begins again.” ― Kate McGahan

There’s no such thing as being done when you’re a parent or a writer and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Feeling like a failure is a given

Maybe that’s just the nature of being human.

There are times when I feel like I’ve tried everything when it come to my baby and nothing can stop him from crying bloody murder. I feel like a total failure in those instances and even when he’s not crying, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing at any given moment.

Motherhood and writing has taught me that I am going to feel like a total failure.

Every word I write and every idea I have makes me second guess myself.

Will this make an impact?

Am I getting my message across the way I want to?

What if this is a total bomb?

The truth is I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. The only thing I can do is to keep trying and continue to write.

There will be some days where I will feel like a complete failure and fraud.

And then there will be days when I don’t.

Feeling like a failure is a given. It’s going to be a given in motherhood and it’s going to be a given in any creative endeavor.

The lesson I’ve learned is that in order to be successful, I need to embrace failure because that means I’ve actually tried something.

Taking risks with your creativity is the only way to learn

Creativity is the spice of life and whether it’s parenting or writing, I’m constantly trying to find new and innovative ways to do both.

Although my son is only 7 weeks (and sleeps for most of the day), I’m always trying to find new ways to entertain and teach him what we consider the basic functions of human life. It’s hard to entertain a 7 week old and it’ll only get harder as he gets older.

So I need to learn to be more creative.

This is no different for the writing life.

Every step of the writing game requires us to take risks with our creativity.

It’s the only way for us to learn what works and what doesn’t.

“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all” — Oscar Wilde

Writing takes guts. Writing takes imagination, authenticity and a whole lot of courage.

I’ll never know if I never try.

This story was originally published on Medium