What If I’m the Grinch of the Group?

The holidays can be a difficult time to endure in normal circumstances. Between the global pandemic, harsh political climate, and the continuation of racial injustice towards minorities and indigenous peoples, the holidays might seem unbearable and not worth going through this year. I want to encourage you that, if you’re feeling this way, you are not alone and you are not crazy. Here are five things you can try to help you get through the season without sacrificing your health.

1. Set and Enforce Healthy Boundaries

Unfortunately, we sometimes need to pick our battles when spending time with family that might not agree with us or respect us. Your personal beliefs are worthy of respect and you are worthy of respect. If you have a dietary need or food preference, you deserve to be able to eat. If you have a relationship with someone, you deserve to be able to spend time with that person on important days. If you want to wear your mask around anti-mask family members, wear your mask! If you only feel comfortable spending time with your family electronically (Zoom, FaceTime, Facebook, etc.), you deserve to have that choice respected. Sadly, family members and those closest to you can be the most challenging to enforce boundaries with, but your mental and physical health are worth it.

Recommended reading: “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud.

2. Take Time Off from Work (if you can)

The great thing about Capitalism is that you’re not the only person who can do your job. With regards to setting and enforcing healthy boundaries, taking time off from work around the holiday season can be very healthy and necessary. You don’t even have to tell anyone outside of work that you have time off. I recommend using this time to focus on self-care, focus on healing things that need it, and focus on charging your batteries in preparation for seeing family or friends. Depending on who you work for, you may need to request time off several months in advance. However, it never hurts to ask your manager if you’re needing the time now. This time can also be very well used to get some therapy if you aren’t already.

3. Stay Away from Stores if You Can

It seems as if it starts in October or November. All of the stores start increasing their sales, and the customers start stampeding all over each other. In addition to this being extremely dangerous due to the pandemic this year, it also brings up the question of consumerism. Do we really need it just because it’s on sale? Can I use what I have in the pantry to bake this? Am I just bored? If you absolutely need something from the grocery store, try doing curbside pickup or have it delivered to your house. If you still do Christmas gift shopping, I urge you to shop local and support small businesses. Not only does going to major chain stores only help their CEO’s, but it also potentially exposes you to the virus, and it exposes you to Western greed and consumerism (which never does your mental health any favors).

4. Think of What Makes You Happy

I recommend sitting down with a journal for this one. Did your family have any holiday traditions that spark nostalgia and joy for you? Try modifying the tradition for what works for you and take pictures to remember it by. Do you enjoy holiday baking or doing different seasonal crafts? Try making something and (safely and sanitarily) gifting it to a friend or neighbor. If watching holiday movies is your jam, cozy up with a hot drink and a blanket and have a movie marathon. Doing something cathartic will help you look back somewhat fondly on the end of 2020. While it has been a difficult year for most and a terrible year for some, I hope that you can find pockets of peace and celebration in a different way than in previous years.

5. Serve Your Community

Not only is community service proven to increase the happy chemicals in your brain, but it can also serve a secondary purpose this year: getting you out of the house. Please, please be cautious in this step though! If you plan to go out at all, wear your mask, bring gloves and hand sanitizer, and if you feel any of the telltale plague symptoms, stay home. The homeless community and BIPOC communities have been disproportionately affected by the pandemic and are in need of service, not just around the holidays, but especially as it gets colder. If you have food to spare, warm clothes, bedding, or toiletries that you aren’t using, I encourage you to consider donating them to your local homeless shelter, Salvation Army, or Reservation. This could be a beautiful new tradition for you, and it makes a legitimate difference in your community.

While this isn’t an exhaustive list, it can get you started if you’re not feeling like celebrating this holiday season. Make sure to prioritize what is good and healthy for you and your family.

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