What Common Problems Are Present in the Family Today?

What common problems do families face today? The enchanting image of a large and happy family, in which all members, from grandparents to parents to children to puppies, embrace and understand each other wonderfully is, of course, a utopia. Problems arise in every family - this is a very natural fact, given the diversity and complexity of relationships within this primary group.

The appearance of common problems in a family does not mean that this family is not a normal one, not even that it would not be a harmonious one in general. It is important how much a problem affects family members and their relationships. Problems arise from time to time in any close relationship.

Taking into account the different types of family relationships: between spouses, between parents and children, between siblings, between grandparents and children, between parents and grandparents - taking into account the natural differences between each member, but also the constant closeness between members, problems It is expected.

The common problems of today's family can be related to various aspects of family life: from material aspects (housing, facilities, family budget), to issues related to the health of members (diseases, addictions), to issues related to emotional needs. Let's think about the latter because the family is the group that exists precisely to meet the emotional needs of all its members: needs for affection, appreciation, communication with others.

The family is the group that "feeds" these emotional needs of each member - sometimes better, sometimes less well. The idea that harmonious families do not face problems is a myth and a utopia: problems arise in every family. The major difference is that, within a united and harmonious family, problems are realized and confronted, in search of a way to improve family relationships.

What common problems do families face today?

Poor communication: the basic emotional needs of the person are met by communicating with those close to them; through positive and open communication, the needs of everyone to feel loved, appreciated, valued by others are nurtured.

However, communication can be adversely affected by differences between members, by each member's style of interaction, by the changes that members go through (especially the changes as children grow), by the stress that each person faces outside the family.

Communication can easily become poor, superficial, non-existent, limited to necessary conversations. In the relationship between spouses, separation or conflict sometimes occurs; in parent-child relationships, there is sometimes difficulty in understanding and empathy; In relationships between children, rivalry sometimes occurs. Poor, alienated communication often leads to distance, frustration, even anger: when you feel that you cannot speak and that you are not listened to by your loved ones, you feel neglected, distant, unloved.

Family conflict. What common problems do families face today? It is obvious: quarrels between family members, between spouses, between children, between parents and children, between parents and their parents or in-laws…

And the closer the members are - physically - being forced to share a small space every day, that's how quarrels are born. Conflicts are common and normal problems; but they are normal only as long as there is the will to resolve them, as long as the members have the desire and the ability to get over a conflict, without it destroying the relationship in the long run.

Family quarrels are also the most emotional, heated and can easily deviate from real family wars, which greatly affects relationships. Conflict does not always mean quarrels: sometimes family members wage a cold and silent war, behaving passively and aggressively towards each other (ignoring each other, refusing to help or talk to each other). The duration and strength of a conflict, how the relationship recovers, are important in determining the seriousness of this family problem.

Problems in children's discipline. What common problems do families face today? Misunderstandings and difficulties related to children's discipline. It is a myth that raising and educating a child is a natural thing, which comes naturally and it is easy for the parent to enter the role of an educator!

On the contrary, many parents often feel helpless, not knowing what else they can do to adopt a style that is both effective and positive in their child's discipline. Misunderstandings between parents about the style of discipline, contradictions and the choice of an authoritarian style vs. an empathic style, the difficulty of avoiding the loss of authority, the difficulty of avoiding looking like a "bad parent", the correct imposition of rules, the choice of the necessary punishment, the child's disobedience, the child's nervous breakdowns, the child's challenges through defiant behavior and breaking the rules - all common problems that occur in families.

The parent can only try to fulfill his role of disciplining as well as possible and always form a team with the other parent.

The head of the family. What common problems do families face today? Relationship issues related to authority: who is the boss? Does there have to be a boss? Or is a lighter style preferable, with parents being the ones in charge, but without establishing a "dictatorship"?

The problem of authority, of control, can appear in two opposite directions. In the first situation, parents who prefer an open, egalitarian, and empathetic style in their relationship with their children may notice that, without being authoritarian, they lose respect and control over their children, who start doing what they want at a certain age. An empathetic and open style in parent-child relationships is always positive - but it doesn't have to be egalitarian!

In a family, parents must constantly show that they are the ones who decide and impose! In the second situation, the imposition of one parent as the absolute boss, with authority and power over all members, who imposes his own will on all (including the other parent), who is the only one who commands and must be heard without questions.

The expression of others is a negative model of authority (according to the traditional patriarchal model, in which the father was the absolute boss with absolute rights over the rest of the family members).

This model of family dictatorship creates serious relationship problems, giving rise to tensions, frustrations, fear, resentment, anger in those who feel completely dominated and controlled by the boss. Parents - in the plural - must impose and decide, but not to command and control like in the army!