To the Woman who changed my life: Thank you.

Its 1am, I’m crying loud enough for the whole of England to hear. The nightmares have taken over again for the third time this week and this time it's impossible to forget. For a brief moment I feel like I'm alone, the little 7 year old me is frightened and needs comfort. And for the slight moment of loneliness I felt not long ago, it is now replaced with a warmth when a hand is stroking my head, telling me it is all a nightmare and she is there to keep me safe. Then, with the lullaby of Que Sera Sera, I drift back to sleep with my mother lying right next to me.

7th July 1975 was a significant day. Johnny Cash had a number one hit single in the UK with “Tears on my Pillow”; Famous deaths included Barbara Brown and Vito Frazzi. A famous female birth included Olga Pyleva, a Russian athlete who went on to win an individual gold medal in the 10 km pursuit, as well as a bronze in the relay in 2002. On this day so many significant events occurred, one includes the birth of the woman who has shaped me into who I am today, my mother- Tasha Kaur. What better way to start off this story than start off to where it all began…

Every girl grows up wanting to be exactly like her mum, and at one point that changes. They decide they want to be like Maya Angelou, Princess Diana or Emma Watson (all still incredibly inspirational women); I decided I wanted to carry on and be exactly like my mother, Tasha.

My mother grew up in a strict Indian household with her two siblings. She learnt to cook at the age of 8, met my biological dad at 18 and at 22 she gave birth to my older sister. Next was me, followed by my younger sister, just 10 months later.

She single handily raised all 3 of us by herself as my dad was never around and she didn’t have anyone else to support her. He left her at home alone, went out for nights and days. He. Him. That person who knocked my mothers confidence, who tore her down, who hurt her, who made her feel like she wasn't good enough. Him. Like I said, for the most part he was never around to help; until one day he didn't come back.

She became a strong person who all of us learned from and looked up to. We were always fed, went to school, had a roof over our heads and were always happy. My mum worked in various beauty salons, supermarkets and even a law firm all over the country. She was never born rich, she made her riches in love and life. She had been working so hard to provide for her family and to keep us safe and not once has my mother ever let me down.

In 2005, my mother met my stepdad and in 2013 she had my beautiful little sister; Mia.

I was raised in a household full of women. My mum shaped all 4 of us to be respectable, to stand up for ourselves and to become the best version of us that we possibly could. She was there for the heartbreaks and assured us that we could make it through and we were worth it, even if boys had told us otherwise. She helped when I was stressed from exams or frustrated when I couldn't achieve something.

When I was 13 years old, I fell down the stairs and was rushed into hospital. I could have been paralyzed, but thankfully I wasn’t. When I fell, my mum was there with me, when I was scared in the ambulance she was there with me, When I woke up in the hospital she was still there, she taught me that it was going to be okay, she taught me to be brave.

According to the dictionary, the definition of 'Inspire' is:

1. fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

I am inspired to wake up and be a better version of myself every day, to never give up on my dreams because at one point in her life, she was told she couldn't and now she runs a successful business. She is inspiring because when I thought I wasn't good enough or felt anxious, she made me feel like I was and built me up to believe that. She taught me self-love and to not give up, no matter how many push backs you get.

What I admire most? Her strength.

A recent tragedy had torn my extended family apart and even though I knew it could’ve broken her, she stayed strong for everyone around her. She continued to push forward and that’s what makes a woman like her so special; no matter what comes your way, you look for the silver lining and that is what she did.

I love to empower women, stand up and know I have a voice and it matters because my mum taught me that I could be and do whatever I wanted. I didn't have to be a doctor or a lawyer, if I wanted to be a writer that was okay,

“As long as it makes you happy” She’d say.

Tasha Kaur inspires me to create and write so passionately about trust, she taught me about hope and never giving up so when I feel like I do; I keep moving forward. She taught me that it's okay to fail; you just need to learn from your mistakes. She taught me to love myself, to love who I want and to love unconditionally. She is the one person who gives me the ability to do something and create something so special. I would be lucky if I ever become half the person she is.

There are many strong women who I look up to; Maya Angelou, Princess Diana, Emma Watson and all for different reasons, but none of them have had as much impact as my own mum. She has shaped me to be a proud woman, a happy woman, a woman who has a voice and a woman who does not give up.

I believe to be a great woman in history does not require you to be known by the universe, it means that a person has shaped your life in such a way that you wouldn't know life without it.

She is a woman who inspires and a woman I aspire to be.