To the Tired Mama

You make yourself a cup of coffee, after dumping the last cup, which was reheated so many times that it tasted terrible, sit down, take a breath, put the cup to your mouth and hear, “Mama!!!!” Perhaps you hear your baby suddenly start crying when nap time just started. You slink down and start to cry. Sound familiar?

It happens to all of us. Trust me. No matter how strong we are, how experienced we may be, how much help you have or don’t have. It can happen when we’re exhausted.

Being a Mama is my entire reason for being. My daughters are the brightest most beautiful lights in my life and everything I do I do it for them. Most days the, “Mama!!!” Or the baby crying makes me melt as I adore them needing and wanting me. However, some days I’m so exhausted and drained that I just which I had some uninterrupted time for myself. Some days I wonder how I will do everything on 3 hours of broken up sleep. But I dig deep and get it done.

My youngest is nearing 1 and 1/2 so some nights she sleeps so great and others are terrible. My oldest, who is almost a teenager now, sleeps like a rock. No worries there. However my step Grandmother (who is like a second Mama to me) put it perfectly, and lovingly, one day, “Wow. One in diapers and one in pads. You have your hands full.” Yes, GiGi. I certainly do.

I am a single Mama to both girls. Both of their fathers decided not to be in their lives. I honestly will never understand why. Nor will my amazing family ever understand. It breaks my heart. But, my girls are much better off. That’s all I will say right now. Alas I’ve had no help with either of them. Most days I feel like superwoman but some days I’m so exhausted and just want to cry. Which brings on that lovely Mama guilt because they’re not doing anything wrong. And I want to be happy and bubbly like I’ve always been. But when you’re on zero sleep your world shifts into the twilight zone.

Have you nodded your head in agreement? Have you experienced this or are in a similar boat? Never fear! I can help.

If you’ve asked yourself, a loved one in heaven or God even, “What do I do?” I hope you received an answer. But if not I can guide you.

Here’s what WE as tired Mama’s need to remember. We must take care of ourselves, too. How can we take care of our children if we’re like a car with an empty gas tank? We have to do four things for ourselves everyday. And if you don’t do these things I beg you to try them.

One. Take a few minutes to talk to yourself aloud. Tell yourself to take a deep breath. Do it. Then tell yourself that you’re okay and you are strong. You can say anything. It may sound silly but hearing some reassurance, even if it’s from yourself, will create a positive, self-loving space.

Two. Do one small thing for yourself every day. When your babies/children are napping perhaps. Whatever makes you happy. Paint your nails, read a new or old favorite book. Even if you only get a page or two in, it’s something! Put on some makeup. Listen to your favorite song. Workout. Plant a flower for your window sill. Soak your feet in the tub. Literally anything. If you only get 10 minutes to do any of this it’s better than nothing at all.

Three. This one is really important. Let go of todays stress before bed. Please don’t go to sleep sad, frustrated, feeling guilty, etc. Tomorrow will be a new day. Even if you have that same old routine day in and day out. It’s still a new day. It’s normal to feel your patience tested, it’s normal to feel exasperated. But we have to let it go in whatever way is comfortable. Meditation, praying or just simply breathing deeply in and out, anything that you prefer.

Four. Once you’ve done that think of at least one beautiful moment of the day. If you’re lucky you’ll think of so many! I definitely do. If your children made you a picture, they helped with chores without being asked, your baby said, “Mama” for the first time, you were able to nap for an hour, you and your children had a great time at the park, you received a compliment at the store, anything! Think of them as you fall asleep. It will help.

Also, the saying, “This too shall pass,” is real. One day we’ll get sleep, we’ll have uninterrupted time. But our babies will be grown up and living their lives. And believe it or not we’ll give anything for another day of being exhausted because that means that they are still there. Cherish every moment. Even the difficult ones.

From one devoted, strong, amazing and tired Mama to another. You’re never alone. Never. And everything will be okay.