To my youngest

You were born on a beautiful day in May. The day after your dad's 34th birthday. You were so wanted, so loved, so excitedly waited for. Your siblings loved watching you move during nap time in my tummy.

You were named after people deep in your ancestry from your dad's side and mine. Dannett after the man who brought the Abney name to the americas and Starbuck after my middle name and your great grandfather's middle name. An old family name traced back to Nantucket and the founding of that island.

Your birthday was planned between your dad's and your sister's. Three people out of our five-member family whose birthdays are in May. You screamed into the world like most babies being the smallest of the three of you at 7lbs 10oz and 19 inches long just before 9 am on a Wednesday.

The next 2 weeks were long and arduous as you were flown over 500 miles away from us to save your life. When we brought you home it put our little family together as the gap was closed, and your siblings thought you were all that and a bag of chips.

The incisions for chest tubes healed, you learned to swallow better after days of tubes in your throat and nose, and life shifted into a normal routine. We called you the football because we would hand you back and forth while I cooked dinner, or your dad played with your siblings. You wanted to be a part of everything from the moment you came home never tolerating being put down unless to sleep and then that not for very long.

Seven months to the day you left us in a rush of loud sirens and people rushing around our house to save you. We were told answers would be found to explain to us after all the fighting you did to stay here at birth you left us seven months later. Answers were found and words written to explain the cause, but the question of why has never been answered.

This year you will be 24 years old the same age I was when you blessed our lives with yours. We see you in your siblings. You and your brother would have looked alike, but you would have had blue eyes. You would have been an artist like your siblings, and they would have spoiled you rotten.

We wonder about you and what you would have done and how your life would have turned out. Your brother lived in England for 10 months when he was 18. Your sister lived in China for 6 months when she was 25. One graduated from The University of Southern Mississippi and the other from The University of Mississippi (Ole Miss). We wonder if you would have wandered off and lived somewhere foreign and if Mississippi State would have been your school.

You passed away young and the memories we have are short. We don't have milestones to remember the first day of school, learning to drive, and growing up. Does this make our grief or your life any less? We have what if's and that would be's and dreams of the three of you together.

A day doesn't go by that we don't think of you. Your birthday and death day come and go each year passing by and we wonder what life would be like with the three of you calling, texting, and being with us daily. Or would you still be living with us the one of the three that wanted to stay home?

For now, you are home in our hearts and our thoughts. Till we meet again...

Dannett Starbuck Wood 5/20/1998 - 12/20/1998