To My Grandmother, With Love

As a man it is sometimes very difficult to see how much women go through. I can really only understand what I have read or seen in movies, but now reflecting on my life and the people around me- I can see how much you have gone through Gram.

Starting in your early childhood I have only heard stories and quick tidbits here and there about how much you had to go through with your father. I can really look at this and reflect on my own parenting skills for when I get there. It also shows where you get your toughness from. Always fighting through stress, sadness, anger, all the emotions you feel that you battle with and do it silently without any of us knowing.

Well today this silence will be rewarded as I am writing this letter to you to thank you for everything you have done for me in my life and to show my gratitude and love that I have for you. One of the strongest women I have met.

There are many things that I heard you had to go through in your life including that time where your jaw broke and had to drink through a straw. When you recently shattered your knee and are still dealing with bone on bone contact with every step you take. The time you battled with breast cancer and defeated it. These times show me how physically and mentally strong you can be. I cannot even imagine having to go through these things. Weighing on you, painfully, not just on the body but on your mind. For me I have never even broken a bone in my life so hearing this is shocking to see that you go through these things while still having that smile on your face and laugh that lights up a room.

Of course there are also the times where you and Gramps were going through so much relationship issues that you almost were not even together this long. The many hardships that my mother tells me about. You guys ran out of money a lot, did not see Gramps as he was on the road travelling. Having to deal with your kids constantly coming home being seriously bullied and needing help while also trying to keep your composure as you were either upset about finances or having relationship troubles. This kind of mental strength is beyond what I can even imagine. It helps me now realize your hardships and appreciate where you have come from and why you are who you are.

Even though we sometimes disagree and have slight banter I will always love you. Now looking back at all of this I can see what you have gone through to get here and relate more with your way of thinking. I am just a young adult and am just now entering my adult life, learning and growing. To see you go through it gives me the confidence that I can too.

Something that I have physically seen you go through though is basically being Gramps caretaker. Over the years we as a family have had to help him with his Diabetes, Parkinson's, Heart disease, and other medical issues. It was quite sad and hard to see such a fighter like him go through these things, especially the triple bypass that I was present for. These times me and my sisters, my parents, aunts and uncles all showed our weaknesses. Our frightfulness. Not you though, you stayed strong and compassionate. Even when everyday you must take care of him, dress him, feed him, give him insulin, etc. All these things that make your everyday life a full time commitment to taking care of him. Looking at this now, I do not know how you do it. I truly do not. I do not have to though because in time I hope to follow in your footsteps and be just as tough as you. The strongest grandmother that I have ever had the blessing of being her grandson.