To My Future Daughter-In-Law

Dear Daughter,

There are a few things I want you to know, and a few things I want to ask of you.

First, I want you to know that I love you. I’m praying for you even now. You may not even be born yet. My baby is three. He’s a very long way from being ready for you, but I promise I’m doing my best to prepare him. I’m doing my best to raise a good, honest, hard working man who will put you first. You deserve nothing less than to be his number one priority. I won’t lie, even though he’s still so small, it’s already hard to think about not holding that position for myself. It's selfish, I know. I hope you can forgive me.

Right now, I am the absolute best person in the world. For some reason, he thinks only mamma can do things. Only mamma can get his food and juice. Only mamma can kiss the hurts away. Only mamma can help mend a broken heart. Mamma is the one who cuddles with him until he falls asleep. But, someday, those things will fall to you. Hard as it may be for me, I accept that someday he won’t come to me. He will run to you. So, I pray for you.

I pray that you love him enough to tell him the truth even if it hurts. That is true love, after all. Anyone can tell a lie. Only those who truly love will be honest even if the honesty has a cost. I pray that you feel comfortable enough with me to tell me if you’re struggling with something. I will do my best to be there for you. I know how it feels when you don't know who you can trust in your time of need. I pray you want to be part of our family, because I want you to feel at home here. I hope my home is a haven for you.

Second, I want you to know that I will always do my best to respect your position in his life. You and I may not always agree, but I promise to do my best to respect you and your choices. The most important thing to me is that my son is happy and loved. If you can do those things, I’ll have no right to be a thorn in your side. I'll have no right, but I won't promise that I will be perfect at it. Feel free to tell me when I overstep my bounds. I pray that our relationship is one in which you and I can talk openly and honestly with one another without tearing it apart.

Lastly, I ask that you please remember you and I will always see different people when we look at him. You’ll see a man; I’ll see my baby. He will always be my baby. He could live to be 100, and he’ll still be my baby. I will see the sad little boy whose heart is torn. I'll hear his little three year old voice telling mamma that he's sad. The desire to protect will never dissipate, so please don’t hold it against me if I sometimes forget he’s grown. If you’re blessed with a son yourself, you’ll understand someday.

He’s already not perfect. I’m not delusional. No one is perfect, but I am doing my best. He’s got a lot of people doing their best. He’s so loved. You will be loved, too.

I look forward to meeting you. I dread it, too. It’s not your fault.