Tips to Talk to Your Parents

It can be really hard to watch your parents as they get older. It can be difficult to watch things that used to come so easily to them become a struggle. Even daily tasks like keeping up after the laundry and house can become too much. The lawn, which used to always be mowed, may look like it has been weeks since anyone touched it!

You may even notice that they are letting themselves go. Your mother, who always used to wear makeup, may not make the effort anymore. You may notice that your father looks like he is losing weight because he may not be eating as well as he used to.

You may want to speak up and help them, but it can be a hard conversation to have. No matter how difficult, it is important that you find a way to talk to your parents and their struggles. That way, you can get them the help that they need to continue to live at home.

Here are some tips to help you have that conversation. 

Know what you want to say. You can't just wing this conversation. Instead, talk about how you are noticing that your parents are struggling. If you noticed that they haven't gotten the mail in weeks, let them know. If they aren't bathing, bring that up. When you notice that there is hardly any food in their fridge, let them know that you are simply worried about them. 

Give them some options. You also need to give them some choices. Maybe they just need someone to clean the house once a week and do the grocery shopping. They may just need someone to come weekly to mow the lawn and pick up the sticks that are laying around.

If you can, you might be able to do some of these chores to help out. However, if you aren't able to, talk to them about hiring someone to come in and help.

You may get to a point where your parents need someone to stay with them at night to make sure that nothing happens. That might be too much for you, so you might want to talk to a caregiver agency before you talk to your parents. They may be able to talk about some of the options that your parents could have. This way, your parents have something to think about, after your conversation is over.

Choose the right time. You need to make sure that you have ample time to talk about this before you bring it up. You don't want to mention it on your way out the door. Not only that, but you also want to make sure that your parents seem to be in a good mood. If they are having a bad day, wait until another day to have this conversation. If you don't, it could turn into a disagreement. 

Give your parents time to think. You can't spring this on your parents and expect to reach a resolution right away. Talk to them about their options and then let them mull it over.

Maybe they have been thinking about getting help for a while and, by bringing it up, you have started the conversation. However, it may surprise them, and they need to consider their options before they make a final decision. Don't be afraid to come back to the conversation another time.  

Before you start the conversation, you need to know what you want to say. It also helps to give them some options. You don't want them to feel like you are helping out of obligation if it is going to be too much for you. You also need to choose the right time and make sure that you have the time to finish the conversation. It is not something you should bring up as you walk out of the door.