These 4 kinds of "ineffective companionship", than not to accompany more hurt children

The key to companionship is whether parents are truly involved in their children's development and whether the parent-child relationship has become stronger.

If you are one of the following 4 types of parents, you may need to start reflecting.

1. The phone as a babysitter type

Do you have this phenomenon in your family? The phone with the baby's time is longer than you, the baby sees the phone and then sees you excited.

Speaking of which, some parents can't sit still and say angrily: "I have which look, I earn money very hard every day".

But parents may want to think about, whether the child is playing with the phone, where they are, and what are doing.

Every time you take the subway, you often see parents playing on cell phones with their children, maybe they were chatting with others; maybe they were also playing games; and some parents because their children cry non-stop, they take their phones with their children to watch cartoons ......

Anyway, the phone can "cure all ills", when we are used to coaxing children with the phone, to save time and convenience, parents have not thought of your company as ineffective.

Although you are around the child, but the heart is not, Xingu master teacher H Jiangsu has spoken in the life.

Often the reason behind a child's addiction to cell phones is that the child is too idle, nothing to do, parents should first learn to find things for their children to do.

If you always throw a cell phone at your child, your child is not addicted to cell phones, what else can they do?

2. Emotional management failure type

Some parents can't control their temper when they help their children with their homework, and they are scolded by their parents when their children accidentally miscalculate a certain problem.

Although parents feel that they work hard with their children to do homework, and then lose their temper for the good of their children unstable emotions are a bomb, and sooner or later will hurt the feelings between you and your children.

Every time a parent bombards with a tantrum, the child's world is in cloudy chaos.

There is also a type of parent whose emotions seem stable and gentle for a while, and then suddenly they will lose their temper with their child.

Think of a friend who told me about her childhood experience.

My mother is usually very gentle, but sometimes suddenly and inexplicably angry, at that time I did not know what I did wrong, always think that because they are not good mom is like this, only when I grew up I knew that it was because she had too much unhappiness piled up in her heart.

The family as a whole, the family atmosphere will affect everyone in it, and both parents often quarrel, the most harmed only children.

If the couple's relationship is unstable, the children will lose their sense of security, and the atmosphere of always arguing will make the children irritable, which is very bad for their growth.

Therefore, parents are always irritable and have poor emotional management skills when accompanying their children this kind of company is also ineffective, after a long time, the child either becomes timid or rebellious.

3. Too much interference type

Some parents like to interfere with their children's affairs, saying that they are accompanying their children to grow up, but they are putting their ideas on their children.

I have a cousin, 24 years old this year, but because his parents grew up interfering too much: small to wear a few woolen pants in winter, big to go to school to choose what major, everything is to listen to parents, they have no opinion. Even if he had some ideas, they were killed in the cradle by his parents, and gradually he got used to not thinking and not working hard, anyway, someone gave arrangements.

Many parents feel that helping their children to arrange everything is a kind of "companionship", just like my cousin's parents think "I am around him 24 hours a day, everything is done for him, this is not companionship?"

So now even though my cousin is an adult, he is only 16 years old mentally and can't do anything, he can't live independently and has to live with his parents.

This seems to be accompanying the child, but it is supervising the child and arbitrarily interfering with the child's life, and such accompanying by the parents is also ineffective.

When parents are with their children, they should not lecture and interfere with their children from their standards; they should follow their children's perspectives, feel what they think and feel what they think, and appreciate their strengths while seeing their weaknesses.

4. The perfunctory type of answering questions

This type of companionship is very common because parents get busy and forget about their children, and even if they are around their children, their hearts have already flown away.

For example, if a child comes home happy and wants to share with his parents what happened at school, the parents may be busy cooking or thinking about work, and by the time they remember, the child has lost the desire to share.

Is this companionship? No. Although this is just a brief moment of sharing by the child, it shows an extreme lack of parental attentiveness.

There are always parents who wonder why their children don't want to talk to them.

This is the reason why you are always perfunctory about your child's affairs, not paying attention to everything he says, and over time, no longer hear his heart.

The other day I saw some news.

A father took his children out to play, and then halfway through the busy back-to-work web, wait until he was busy, a looked up and found his son missing.

Ten days later, the police found the child's body on a construction site. A child's life, because of parental caregiving mistakes fell, let people heartbroken.

When a child shows his or her ability to mom or dad or asks a question, he or she is sincerely eager to receive a heartfelt response from the parents.

Children who are often treated perfunctorily may seem to have their parents with them, but from emotions to actions, they lack quality interaction and communication.