The weekend test.

Computers on please log into assignment number four & we will work together as a class through question number six, said the high school English teacher.

I could feel my index finger rolling up and down the scrolling wheel of the computer mouse, I was staring at the computer log in screen, I could hear the English teacher he mumbled some instructions about assignment number six.. I think, I could think, I just couldn’t focus.

I was 17 turning 18 this particular year, my senior year. It was a fresh new year, summer holidays were only 6 weeks ago. I had spent the last 6 weeks dreaming of my high school formal, envisioning my dress, my shoes & the possible colour scheme.

“Alison, can you give me a reason why you are still logged out?” The English teacher interrupted my thoughts. Sure, I had a reason in fact I had a few reasons, I stumbled something like ‘I umm... I’m just..’

“Not focused?” Asked the English teacher, “I’m not surprised, it is Monday morning after all” he said.

High school is a fire ball of anxiety, everything is a competition. Popularity competition, athletic competition, lunch tables are a competition. If that’s not frustrating enough, there is always a teacher through the next door with a test up their sleeve.

I never stressed to much about tests, either I had absorbed the information.. or I hadn’t.

Truthfully I had taken a test recently, on Saturday just two days ago. The exact reason why I hadn’t been able to focus in English that Monday morning. I sat in a room alone reading the instruction leaflet, I felt nauseous a completely ‘normal’ feeling for most humans before taking a test.

“I’m so excited for the movies tonight, I can’t wait to relax and eat some snacks” I heard from outside the door of the room I was taking the test in. As a teenager I loved going to the movies on the weekend, especially with my friends & my companion.

This test was like no other test I had ever taken before. My high school best friend said to me “This test could be life changing, Alison!”

“5 minutes left to work on question number six, when you have finished please log out of your session & turn off your computers” said the English teacher. It’s been 45 minutes of staring at a computer screen, my trance of thought was attached to the test I had taken Saturday afternoon, a test that read the results to you within a few minutes. 1 line indicated negative & 2 lines indicated positive.

“Aw! Alison!” My high school best friend hugged me. The words “you are having a baby” echo’d through my entire body repeatedly until my eyes focused back into reality, I looked around the room everybody had their backpacks on, I glanced at the time just as I heard the blaring sound of the transition bell.

During high school we often find ourselves asking a friend “when is the next assignment due?” For the rest of senior year, I found myself being asked: “when are you due/ when is the baby due?”

I could see the sunset of an afternoon as I lay on my bed, my hands would cradle my baby mountain as I attempted to visualise the future months.

Going forwards I knew I had time to complete my higher school certificate, attend my high school formal & take part in presentation day before my baby would be due in December. A support network had formed around me by the time these events occurred. I hadn’t the skill to express my gratefulness.

“What day do you think he will be born? What do you want to name him? I can’t wait to see what he looks like!” My babies father was compassionate, confident & reassuring. He encouraged me to continue my senior year, he was right beside me for my every fear.

My heart would be pleased if our baby boy followed suit in his father's footsteps.

The weekend test I took in high school became the test that changed my life forever.