The Times I Remember with Dziadek

My grandfather recently passed away – he is forever in my heart though.

It was Thursday afternoon, and I am sitting upstairs in Equinox Hudson Yards, preparing myself to have lunch, and then I receive a text from my mom. I did not think much of it in that instance, but when I opened it, I knew right away. I read it. It hurts me now even typing about it.

There is something so vivid to it where I did not know where my mind wanted to go and/or I wanted to go, but it was a moment to be had. Up until then, there were close calls, and he kept on pulling through. This week he was in the hospital from fainting a couple of days ago. Yet, he was still holding on.

This is the strength for which I received from him. Whether in-person or from afar on Facetime, and/or even thoughts and stories passed along from others, I could feel my grandfather’s strength. I always found a way to channel back to this strength whether I was going through a tough time, or even an exciting time and I needed some solid ground to stand on.

Even with him passing, nothing will change, and I am completely lucky to be able to have this sort of strength within in me because of him. He also touched my heart in many ways and put a smile on my face. Here are six times that I will forever remember.

Hugging him upstairs in the computer room after he had a heart attack

He was staying over our house as this was his first time back in the US after a long time. He was able to spend time in Hoboken, got to see New York City, and even saw Niagara Falls. Not the first time, but it was a while since he had last been in America.

I don’t fully remember where I was living at the time. Whether it was in Hoboken or back home, but I remember the hug fully. ***I asked my mom, and this was most likely 2012 **and now we pulled out the photos and it was 2012 when I was living back home and told my parents to take him to Hoboken as I was starting to frequent there.

He was having an amazing time. This was around Easter. Then it happened. We were all home, and he had a heart attack in the middle of the night. That morning, it was time for him to fly back to Poland, but after telling my mom that he did not feel good and what happened in the middle of the night, my mom told my aunt, and then after my aunt told her colleagues of the symptoms, a heart attack was suspected. An ambulance was called and sure enough, it was a heart attack. In my mind, one must understand, I found him to be invincible. So even with this said, I still believed he was ok, and thankfully, he was.

A couple of days later or maybe even a week/plus, it was time for him to leave, and I went to give him a hug before he left. I knew there was a lot that I wanted to tell him, so this was my chance to be open with him. I told him I love him. I also told him a lot more about what he means to me, for my life, and the way I go about my life and what he does for me. I do not want to share fully what was said, but I am so thankful I was given the chance because I believe even more so than what was said, we were able to feel each other’s love for each other. This is all that mattered.

Going to church with him and seeing him in his element

I now am back in Poland, after being there two years prior and that being the first time in 20+ years. A couple years back when I visited after so many years, I got to feel the culture and it was the first time I got a sense for ‘my people’. So now as I am back in 2019 and in my early 30’s, I was excited to spend time with Dziadek in a simple way.

After exploring new places of Poland and being able to spend time with my dad’s side of the family in Poland, it came time to be with my grandfather. The best part was him leading me through the garden and then us driving to church. The way he moved and was excited for mass was super special to see, and easy to feel how big a part religion and faith was to his life. We quietly sat through mass, and I simply felt safe and happy.

One thing everyone knew about my grandfather is he loved to dress up and quite frankly, it was just normal attire for him to be in a well-pressed shirt or sweater, dress pants, tie, and looking sharp all-around. When it came to church, it was simply another day where he presented himself to the utmost standard. I appreciate this from him, and it is something to aspire to.

Watching him sign my shoes

I will forever tell this story, and I love telling this story. Back in 2017, I started running and I entered my first race... the JP Morgan Corporate Challenge which is a 4K and I was able to run with my company at the time, Wiley. This was exciting. There was one thing though, I needed actual running shoes! Up until then, I would run in my basketball sneakers or cross training sneakers. This was the perfect excuse and simply made sense to buy running shoes.

So, I went online to Nike and found me a pair of Pegasus 33’s. I received them, and then the next thing to do was to track my miles and upload them into the app. When it was time to do this, Nike asked me to ‘nickname’ my sneakers. It took me half a second to think of the name… Dziadek’s.

These were going to be my Grandfather’s because of all the strength that he has given me. I loved them. I ran the race in them. I had the most amazing and moving time. I started running in NYC with them and kept them going for as long as I could.

That is when I knew, the next time that I would be in Poland, I must ask my grandfather to sign them. So, in 2019 when I was in Poland, I was sure to bring the sneakers with me. I told him about how I started running and nicknamed them after him and all the strength that he gives me.

He gladly signed them, Antoni.

It was a bonding moment for me, and I hold it forever.

The countless FaceTime’s

So, my grandfather and I are almost half the world away from each other. Little did I know, how savvy he is and how active he would be when it came to social media and FaceTime. I certainly knew that he was interested and curious but did not expect him to use all these tools that we now have. Amazing, that he did!

Talking with him on the phone always helped to ground me. It would bring me back to the moments that gave me strength and help me feel more connected with him. I knew it made him happy, and it made me happy, as well. It quickly became... when I have a thought of calling Dziadek or something cool is happening, I instantly gave him a call. Then FaceTime began to be a thing with him as he had his iPad and now was able to see and experience what my world was looking like at the time.

He would always say how when walking around New York City, his neck would hurt because he had to and would keep looking up. This was so true and spoke to his curiosity. Now, when I would call him from NYC, I could see the same look of curiosity and wonder in his eyes, and it warmed my heart because I feel like he felt that he was right there with me.

Each FaceTime felt super special.

Listening to him sing songs for me during his birthday party

In 2025, he was celebrating his 90th birthday!! I am so happy that I was able to make the trip and that so much of the family was able to spend time with him.

He was so moved on his birthday and for most of the time, he was simply soaking it in. Watching everyone gather around, tell stories, share laughter, and ask questions. A photo album was also made for him that was put online, and he was able to see so many photos throughout the years, and it was one of the things he loved about the day and kept asking about the album. He also, loved spending time with his grandson, Marcin, and watching him play at the table.

There were emotional times too, and we all were so happy to be there and sing Happy Birthday for him, and Sto Lat.

Then an amazing thing happen – he turned to me and started singing. He simply said, listen... these are songs and poems I love. Something to the tune of that. I knew it was important for him, and I was sure to listen. His caretaker, Kamila, was by his side too, listening, and I asked her to remember all these songs and poems that he was singing.

They were: Rozszumialy Sié Wierzby Placzace; O Mój Rozmarynie; Mały Biały Domek.

Forever appreciate him sharing.

Holding on to me telling me the next time I find a girl to hold on to her

Then it came time for me to make my way back home. It was the day after Easter, and I wanted one of the last things I do in Wałbrzych to be me saying goodbye to Dziadek. We talked a bit. He gave me a book to read. I am leaving a lot of things out... it was an emotional time. We hugged, and he told me… the next girl that I find... hold on to her.

I love you, Dziadek. You mean the world to me. I will.