The ties that bind

My grandad was the apple of my eye. He spoiled me, I wasn't his only grandchild but I sure was his favorite. He took me everywhere with him, fishing, golfing, you name it I was Granddaddy's baby and whatever I wanted I got. But my grandmother on the other hand couldn't stand me and I always figured it was because her and my mother could never get along and I reminded her of her. She was cold towards me. She never hugged me, she forced a smile whenever I came over and tensed up whenever I hugged her. I loved her but felt she never loved me. My mom would always say "Oh she's just old and mean baby" so I took it as that. A few months ago my granddaddy died. I took it really hard and after my grandmother became even more cold. I went to see her one day and finally asked her why she didn't love me like she loved her other grandkids. Her reply was "I hate your father for what he did to your mother and I hate your mother for having you!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Crying and full of hurt I left. The next time I saw my grandmother was at the reading of my grandfathers will. The lawyer read " I Randy Lawson leave all of my worldly possessions, money, and land to my beautiful baby girl, my daughter Leah Lawson...What was I hearing??! MY name is Leah Lawson...

I sat with my mouth open...did I hear what I thought I heard? Is my grandfather really my father? If so then that would mean he...he raped my mother. I turned to my mother and her eyes were filled with tears and she had this expression on her face as if she was trying to find the words to say. My grandmother sat with a disgusted look on her face as if I asked for this. "Mom is grandad my father?" She hesitated and before she could speak my grandmother spoke up. "Yes, your grandfather, the one you loved so much raped your mother and instead of getting an abortion like she should have she decided to keep you!" My mother was balling at this point unable to speak. My whole world is in pieces I am the product of a rape, the product of incest, A nasty dirty secret...as I was turning to leave the lawyer stopped me. "Don't leave there's more, please sit." I went back over to my mother and sat down next to her. The lawyer continued to read... "Leah is my only child, my baby girl and she is to receive everything I have worked my whole life for. Nothing is to be left for my wife." I stood up "Wait, how can I be his only child? This is my mother?!" My mother turned and looked at my grandmother "Mama, what is this man saying? How is Leah his only child?!"....

My grandmother sat in silence as both my mother and I stared at her waiting for a response. My mother grew impatient "Mama, if Randy Lawson isn't my father who the hell is?" Now my grandmother was crying which is something I had never seen her do. She took a deep breath and said "When I was 18 my mother died so I went to live with my uncle and his wife who was very ill to help him take care of her. After about a month of me being there he began to look at me strangely and one day as I was hanging laundry in the yard he came and drug me in the shed and raped me. He raped me everyday until I became pregnant with your brother. For a while it stopped. But then when your brother was about 1 his wife died and he started raping me again. I had no place to go so I dealt with it and soon I became pregnant with you." My mother nearly fainted. "Where is my brother mama?" My grandmother hung her head "After you were born I couldn't take it nomore so I packed my things took you and ran. I left your brother there with my uncle and never looked back"...I was in disbelief, what kind of fucked up family am I apart of? The ringing of my cell phone startled me, it was my husband calling. I ignored the call because I just couldn't talk. I thought what kind of crazy family am I about to bring a child into?...

As I sat there both my mother and grandmother crying and the lawyer looking at us like we're all bat shit crazy, I felt a sharp pain in my belly. "Oh No" I thought Zai'Yah wasn't due for another 3 wks. As I stood up to go over to my mother my water broke. Everyone snapped out of their trance. My mother yelled "We gotta get you to the hospital, I'll call Chance." Her and my grandmother helped me to the car. When we arrived at the hospital Chance was pacing outside "Baby you ok? Is the baby ok! Are you sure it was your water and you didn't just pee your pants?" I shot him a nasty look "Chance shut the hell up and get me inside!" They rushed me inside, the next thing I know I'm pushing. After an hour she finally came out. I heard her cry and then everything faded to black. "Doctor what's wrong with her?" Chance yelled. "She's lost a lot of blood, she's gonna need a transfusion." Chance knew he could give me blood so he offered right away. "Doc take it from me, please whatever it takes." "Ok Mr. Lawson let's get you prepped." We always thought it funny we had the same last name but no relation to each other. It took about an hour for me to wake up after the transfusion. My baby girl was beautiful I couldn't believe she was mine. Chance walked in with the doctor after talking in the hallway. Something seemed wrong. "What's the matter?" I asked. Tears welled up in Chance's eyes. "Is something wrong with the baby?!" "No Mrs. Lawson, as you know you lost a lot of blood during delivery and needed a transfusion. To make things easier your husband offered his blood for the transfusion. Well...after running some tests we found...well you and your husband share familial DNA, you're related." I couldn't breathe. "What?!"...

Today I found out that my grandfather is actually my father, my mother's father is actually her great uncle and now my husband and father of my newborn child is related to me somehow! What in fresh hell is going on. Chance and I met in college I've met his parents. But when we got married his parents were in Paris and never got a chance to meet my family. He isn't really close with them so we didn't do family dinners or anything. He never said why and I didn't pry. "Chance your parents need to come here we need to figure out what is going on." He came over and picked up our baby "I know I've already called my father he's on his way." We sat in silence, in shock for most of the day then there was a knock at the door. It was my grandmother... "Leah, I just wanted to come make sure you and the baby were ok and to apologize to you for how I've treated you. Your grandfather...well your father wasn't satisfied with me so he went to your mother and you are the result. I've been angry because she didn't tell me she just let it go on. I stayed because I loved him. But you were a constant reminder of his infidelity with my child. I am her mother I was supposed to protect her!"

She was interrupted by another knock on the door, it was Chance's father. My grandmother turned around and froze as if she had seen a ghost and let out a scream "Darius?!"....

When my mother heard my grandmother scream she ran into the room, nurses behind her. "Please take my baby to the nursery." I asked a nurse. My mother walked over to my grandmother "Mama are you ok?" My grandmother stared at Chance's father with tears in her eyes frozen unable to move. Darius walked over to her and grabbed her hand. " Hello mama, miss me?" My mother sprang to her feet and pushed him away. "Excuse me who are you?" Darius turned to my mother and said "I'm the son she left behind, your big brother." Chance stood up confused "Dad you said your mom died before your dad did." "She did die, she died when she left me all those years ago." My grandmother was finally able to speak "Darius I had to leave you, I couldn't take the both of you. I couldn't leave your sister with him not after what he did to me" Darius shook his head. "Do you even care what he did to me? He beat the hell out of me every day until I left at 16. I promised myself I would find you and you would feel all the pain I felt all these years." "Darius I never stopped thinking about you. All these years I wondered how you were and if you were ok." "If you cared about me you would have never left. So here we are one big happy family. Son say hello to your grandma Carol, your auntie Cheyenne, and your first cousin and let's not forget wife Leah." Darius said smiling. Chance had a look of disgust on his face. "Dad please tell me you did not know Leah was my cousin." Darius chuckled "Not at first no, but given she already had our last name I did some digging and found out that dear Leah here was my niece and your cousin. What better revenge to exact on my deadbeat mother and precious sister than to let my son marry and impregnate his cousin?" I couldn't believe this man "You're sick and twisted. This is disgusting!" "Aw don't be that way niece, I was just trying to make sure we kept it all in the family...our jacked up, incest filled family!" At that point Chance became angry and shoved Darius against the wall. "Dad how could you do this to me?" Darius let out a loud yell "Son stop being a little bitch and get over it. What's done is done...

Mind was reeling...what hit me hardest is that I just brought a beautiful baby girl into the world and I can't even enjoy her. "I want every one except Chance to leave the room right now!" As everyone left the tears began to flow. The man who loved me beyond reason, the man I loved more than life itself is my cousin. Chance came and sat on the bed. "Leah baby, I'm so sorry I hate my father for doing this to us. I don't know what lies ahead but I know we can make it through and raise our daughter." "Chance I love you, God knows I love you but we can't be together, you're my cousin, we're family!" Chance's eyes began to fill with tears..."Leah I know but how can we just walk away? I'm in love with you, we just had a beautiful baby girl. I can't lose y'all and my heart don't have no switch I can't just turn off my feelings. "Chance I love you too but this is wrong! Our daughter is a product of incest, it's bad enough I'm gonna have to raise her knowing her father is my cousin...she can never know you're her father Chance." Chance stood up with anger in his eyes. "So just like that I don't have a daughter? Because my father is a sick twisted bastard I have to suffer?" I knew Chance wouldn't let go easily and to be honest I didn't want him to. This man was my everything and deep down I knew I couldn't just walk away. But being together was wrong we're related by blood. My heart wanted to stay but my mind knew I had to leave Chance. But the heart never does what the mind tells it to...

I finally got to go home with my beautiful baby girl...without Chance. He got a hotel room until we could figure out what was to happen next. I stared at Zai'Yah all day and night. She was a beautiful mixture of Chance and I. I thanked God every second for allowing her to be ok given that she was a product of incest. My heart was broken to pieces over this. My family was truly messed up. My mother lied to me about my father, my grandmother hated me, and my uncle allowed his son to marry me. I was in love with Chance but their was no way we could be together was there?

Weeks went by without me talking to anyone, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it and there stood Chance.

"Chance what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Leah you can't just keep avoiding me and I would like to see my daughter can I please come in?"

I stood to the side and gestured for him to come in. I didn't want him there, but I wanted him there. I missed him, I missed my best friend, my lover, my everything but he is my first cousin. As we walked silently to Zai'Yah's room he stopped me.

"Leah I know things are crazy right now, but I really hope we can work all this out for the sake of our daughter she needs both her parents in her life."

"Work what out Chance?! We're cousins what the hell is there to work out. Your sick, twisted father orchestrated all of this to get back at our grandmother and in the process has ruined ALL of our lives."

Chance grabbed me by the hands and looked into my eyes.

"Baby I know all of this and I'm just as angry as you, but how can we just give up on ALL we have built together? I'm in love with you Leah, cousin or not and I can't change that."

I couldn't believe what he was saying, but deep down I wanted to hear it. I mean we could go on about our lives as if none of this happened I mean really who would know besides us that we're cousins. It could be our secret, I really wanted my husband and the life we created for ourselves. I didn't wanna let that go, but could I live with knowing?

Before I could start my next sentence, Chance's lips were pressed to mine, his hands around my waist making their way down to my backside. We always had amazing sex, and with everything that transpired I needed this release, cousin or not I craved this man's body and today I would give in to this craving...I mean who would know? To be continued....

#shortstorI sat with my mouth open...did I hear what I thought I heard? Is my grandfather really my father? If so then that would mean he...he raped my mother. I turned to my mother and her eyes were filled with tears and she had this expression on her face as if she was trying to find the words to say. My grandmother sat with a disgusted look on her face as if I asked for this. "Mom is grandad my father?" She hesitated and before she could speak my grandmother spoke up. "Yes, your grandfather, the one you loved so much raped your mother and instead of getting an abortion like she should have she decided to keep you!" My mother was balling at this point unable to speak. My whole world is in pieces I am the product of a rape, the product of incest, A nasty dirty secret...as I was turning to leave the lawyer stopped me. "Don't leave there's more, please sit." I went back over to my mother and sat down next to her. The lawyer continued to read... "Leah is my only child, my baby girl and she is to receive everything I have worked my whole life for. Nothing is to be left for my wife." I stood up "Wait, how can I be his only child? This is my mother?!" My mother turned and looked at my grandmother "Mama, what is this man saying? How is Leah his only child?!"....To be continued