The Test Dating Advice You Will Receive

If your relationship were a romantic comedy, it might go something like this: The ideal first date would include you locking eyes and sensing from the very first "hello" that they are The One. Cut to a montage of couples walking hand in hand in the evening while holding hands, baking together, and maybe taking a tandem bike trip or two. Nobody is surprised that relationships in real life tend to grow a bit less dramatically than in movies. It may be difficult to negotiate the early stages of a relationship, but it also determines if your romance will last. Here are 15 essential bits of relationship advice for brand-new relationships to help you get off to a good start (and decide whether it's even worth staying with).

1. Pay attention to the present and not the past

Being afraid and having bad experiences in a new relationship is normal; after all, it's a survival tactic to keep from having your heart shattered again. Old anxieties and doubts might shield you from heartache, but they can also keep you from being completely content in a new relationship. Don't mistrust your new spouse because of how your ex-partner treated you, for instance, if they were unfaithful. Pay attention to the distinctive traits that set your new spouse apart. You should trust someone if they are reliable enough to date.

The "dating history" discussion will ultimately be crucial, but don't jump right into it. Get to know your date's likes, dislikes, dreams, and personality qualities throughout your first few dates as they get to know yours. Before you know the names of their siblings and where they grew up, you don't need to ask them about their dating history or explain what went wrong in your previous relationship on the first date.

2. Discuss the future at an early stage

Even if you shouldn't dwell on the past, you should at least somewhat consider the future. However, if marriage is a non-negotiable for you, you don't want to wait until after a year of dating to find out that they don't want to get married. Of course, you don't need to (and definitely shouldn't) ask how many kids they want before the salad course is served on date #1. Talking about topics like your life goals, religion, marriage, politics, etc. isn't always enjoyable, but you should naturally bring up your deal-breakers to make sure you're at least on the same page as soon as you start to see a future together. Communicate your preferences, whether you're seeking for a short fling or a long-term partnership.

3. Ensure that you are drawn to the individual and not just the prospect of a relationship.

Dating fatigue is real, and sometimes we want a relationship so strongly that we don't even recognize we're more drawn to the concept of a relationship than the person we're with. You run the danger of forcing a spark or putting other people into boxes they don't belong in (or don't want to be in) if you're so intent on finding Happily Ever After. Because your mind has already persuaded you that something must work, you ignore defects or warning signs. Rather, accept your spouse as they are. Count on them not being The One. Would you still want to spend your time with them? You're probably attracted to someone, not simply for a relationship, if you like their company so much that you'd want to be with them whether or not they were "The One."

4. Don't miss the sexual discussion!

It should go without saying that if you aren't comfortable discussing your sexual health with your partner—including STD testing, history, etc.—you aren't ready to be intimate (or maybe they aren't someone you should be intimate with). Discuss your preferences, pet peeves, and areas of comfort while listening to others' opinions without passing judgment. Oh, and keep in mind that each couple has a distinct idea of when it is "appropriate" to become intimate (forget the "three-date rule" and all other recommendations that are nonsense), and that it is not enough for just one partner to feel ready.

5. Get to know one another's, friends

You may be inclined to keep the connection to yourself as it is still young. But making friends right away is essential. Your interactions with each other's crew might reveal a lot about your spouse and the nature of your relationship. You may not know your partner as well as you think you do, for instance, if all of their buddies are major jerks with whom you would never get along. After all, who chooses to hang out with jerks if they aren't jerks themselves?

The presence of your new partner among your pals might also reveal any possible warning signs. Your spouse may not get along with them as well as you had anticipated, or you may see something in your buddies that they do not. You may build a mutual relationship if you both get along well with each other's circle of friends. In this case, you won't have to decide between hanging out with each other and your pals.

6. Avoid texting during crucial discussions.

When it comes to frequent check-ins and sending amusing memes to make your spouse chuckle while they're at work, texting is a contemporary gift. However, messaging should only be used for establishing plans and LOLing at TikToks. You should always meet in person to talk about your emotions for one another or to argue. Texting might not only make face-to-face interactions difficult, but it can also lead to greater misunderstandings since a lot can be lost in translation. Tell your spouse that you'll talk about it when you can sit down and talk it through together if you sense an argument coming on but are unable to at least speak on the phone.

7. Be who you are

Okay, this one sounds so cliché that it makes me uncomfortable to even type it. But if I had been completely honest with myself on every first date and at the start of every new relationship, I could have spared young, single Josie a lot of time wasted. I understand that you strive to start out calm and collected. You tell them you like their arty music even though you only regularly play Taylor Swift's first three albums, and you pretend to watch horror films instead of the Hallmark Channel. Be open and honest about your likes, dislikes, and who you are, even if you're still at the stage when you shave your legs before every date (oh, simpler days). It will not only help the correct person discover you, but it will also save you time and heartache with the ones who aren't a good fit.

8. Truly delight in it

I'll share another personal anecdote with you: I can go back to the beginning of every relationship and recall all the times I fretted over my hair or makeup before going on dates or read into all the little cues out of concern that they didn't like me as much as I had thought they would. But the start of a relationship is so unique: The honeymoon period seems to go forever, the "new-relationship bubble" hasn't burst, and you're grinning pretty much all the time. When your heart is at stake, it's reasonable to feel afraid or hesitant to be open and vulnerable. But of how unsettling a new relationship may seem, remember to have fun. Take note to the little details, do new things with your partner, and make sure you're having a good time.

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9. Labels don't matter (to a certain extent)

Where you are on Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge (i.e. "Talking?" "Dating?") may be quite unclear. "What's up?" "Wifed Up?" or "FWB?"). Don't get upset if it's still unclear where you two stand in terms of your relationship. Various timelines don't always indicate that you're incompatible or that they don't like you since varied individuals have different times when they feel ready to take each relationship stage.

However, you should be clear about whether or not you both have other relationships, and you should be aware of whether you're searching for something casual or more serious (always be open about what you want). Otherwise, though, the term "girlfriend" no longer necessarily means "I like you," as it did in kindergarten, so don't worry if they haven't said it. Oh, and if you find yourself in the embarrassing circumstance of introducing someone but not knowing how to refer to them, simply call them by their name. You don't have to explain what they are to you; in fact, trying to guess might lead to a lot more misunderstanding.

10. Recognize that warning signs are not recommendations and won't go away.

Guess what happens if you discover them lying, treating the waiter badly, or making derogatory remarks about a buddy. They won't change, and it's not a "one-time event." Red flags are instinctual signals that something isn't right; pay attention to them. Ignoring warning signs can simply delay a relationship's ultimate end and make it more difficult for both of you to end it. Everyone makes errors; you could criticise your spouse and they might not be flawless. You will be able to hash it out if it was just a bad judgment call or error. Run for the hills if you have a gut sense that "this isn't right" or that a conduct is more than a mistake.

Four Dating Rules You Should Never Break

There are several guidelines that every pair should abide by when dating. What additional dating rules should never be violated by either party in the relationship? We are all aware that couples shouldn't cheat on each other when they are in a relationship.

1. Lying

Even a minor white lie has the potential to become problematic later. The majority of the time, your spouse will value your honesty and pardon you for whatever you did. If you lie about the circumstances, however, your significant other will have more cause to doubt your honesty. Your significant other may remember this incident when you were dishonest in the future and be reminded that maybe they shouldn't trust you as much as they do. Never lying to each other is a guideline that should never be violated if you want to maintain the connection you have with your significant other.

2. Give and Take

The most successful partnerships need equal amounts of giving and receiving from each participant. One partner in a relationship could feel as if they are putting in more effort than the other if this balance starts to become unbalanced. Let's take an example where one person prepares supper while the other one unwinds. It would be a great idea for the person who didn't cook to clean up the kitchen and do the dishes after supper so the person who cooked could unwind.

3. Never prioritize anything above your partner.

Every one has a hectic schedule, so it might sometimes be justifiable to prioritize work or other obligations above your relationship. The love you two have should ultimately prevail above all other considerations, however. Additionally, your significant other will probably do anything they can to assist you in doing your duty. If you and your spouse consistently abide by this guideline, building a good relationship will be simple.

4. Interaction

Although it isn't strictly required, effective, open communication is the foundation of all successful partnerships. Without excellent communication, a spouse could never understand if the other feels angry, joyful, or sad about a certain scenario or occurrence. In a relationship, everything should be on the table, so to speak, and one can never talk to their spouse enough. Start by attempting to talk with your spouse more if you want to continue to grow and enhance your connection.

Each of these guidelines is one that neither partner in a relationship should break. Following all of these guidelines should make building a solid and sincere connection easy for you and your significant other.

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