The Search

Sorting through the possessions of the living is one thing, but it feels ten times harder when you are sorting through the keepsakes of a beloved relative. I don’t want to be here, and I don’t want to do this but someone must and I drew the short straw. I don’t even know where to start, I only saw it once. No one else seems to know what I am talking about when I mention the little black book. It should have been with his important papers, right? It doesn’t help that I don’t know what else was in it. He just flashed it once, it wasn’t like I held it or anything. I am racking my brain attempting to reconstruct a conversation I had over twenty years ago, searching for clues. What if holds more than numbers? What if it holds the memories of horrors I’d rather not know, deeds done in secret best left to the dark. I’ve got to get hold of my run away imagination it just makes things confusing. Where is the radio? Let me listen to some music, commercials! Uggh! Can’t a girl zone out to some oldies, okay! Focus, focus, focus...... where would I put it? No that’s not right the question is where would he put it? Bookshelf, no, too public. Closet, no too private, not logical. Here bookie, where would you be? Look, calm down and think! No, not about love and loss, about the little black book with the leather cover! Finally! A clue, was it the size of my palm? Or bigger? Blue or black ink, black I think! Okay, what else do I remember? I wish I had paid more attention, asked more questions, I don’t even know what I said at the time. I remember being confused, startled even. What are you doing? Thinking about that is not going to help you! Get a grip! Wait what’s that over there? Small box....could it be okay come to momma! What would be the chances, it’s worse than the lotto or finding a needle in a haystack don’t get your hopes up. Umpf, it’s heavy, and dusty. Whatcha got there! Yikes you startled me, why are you creeping up on me? I wasn’t creeping, well I didn’t hear you. What do you want? I asked first, whatcha got? A box, why do you care? I am just asking, you don’t have to be so jumpy, I do have to be jumpy when you come sneaking in here! I wasn’t sneaking I said hi! Look you are making a tough job tougher go away and leave me in peace. I can help you. Thanks but no thanks it’s too little too late. Get out! See if I ever offer again! Finally! Now let’s see what’s in here!