The R&B of my life

I heard my Mom say “sing somewhere over the rainbow” a song I loved.

She knew I could not sing, but she would love for me to sing that song.

As I heard her asking me to sing it in my head, I am looking at her body in

the casket, and I begin to cry. I will never be able to sing that to her again.

As days pass by, I am still reminiscing about her, now I hear her singing

I love you for “Sentimental reasons,” one of her favorite

songs. She could not sing either, but I loved when she sung it.

Maybe that was her way to let me know she was ok, and that she loved

me. At least that is what I was accepting, I needed too.

As days turned into months, my life had to move on, but even though I still

had my Dad, and my Sister’s I felt “On my Own.” My family was not my

Mom, and I wanted her back so bad. They did what they could, they loved

me as much as they could, it just was not enough. ”Mama!” I‘m “Missing

you!”

Years passed and my soul was needing something, or someone! Finally

there was a young man I met called J! Never did I think someone

could fill the void of my mother’s death, but he sure tried. This was “ No

ordinary love,” that was for sure. We had a lot of “ Break up to make up”

situations, not for sure why. Maybe it had a lot to do with me, things that

had me “Going in Circles,” not knowing exactly what my life really needed

or where it was headed. My Mom was not coming back, still keep playing in

my head, and even with a boyfriend there was still a void in my heart.

The void must have been huge, because a year later I filled it with a eight

pound twenty-one and a half inch little boy called Dre. Someone really just

for me, someone who needed me, as much as I needed them. J and I slowly

grew apart, due to cheating, and constant fighting. My time with our Son

made him jealous somehow. No longer would I put up with that! All I can

say to J is “ Thanks for my Child!” He gave me that one thing I needed,

even if I was only sixteen.

As my Son was growing up, and the days of missing my Mom got easier,

and easier. Somehow J kept coming back, so much so that I would have

another child by him. This time a nine pound two ounce girl, twenty-one

and a half inches. Her name was Alexis. A year later my Dad dies. Both of

my parents are gone, but two new lives were born. To my parents “I will

always love you,” but I must remember “ His eye is on the sparrow,” and I

know he is watching over me, and I know the both of you are too!

R&B SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE - YOUTUBE or APPLE MUSIC

1. Somewhere over the rainbow- Patti Labelle

2. Sentimental reasons- Sam Cooke

3. On my own- Patti Labelle/Micheal McDonald

4. Mama- Boyz ll men

5. Missing you- Diana Ross

6. No ordinary love- Sade

7. Break up to make up- The Stylistics

8. Going in circles- The friends of Distinction

9. Thanks for my child- Cheryl Pepsii Riley

10. I will always love you- Whitney Houston

11. His eyes is on the sparrow- Mahalia Jackson