The Plate Was Never Empty

When I grew up I always thought about the best way to raise children. Do we need to always be angry or give long lectures.

I found the answer when I looked at how my mom raised me. My mom does not know how to say sweet words. But she knows how to comfort without voice.

My mom is the type who believes actions are stronger than words.

Mom Comes With Tea I cannot forget one day when I was a teenager. At that time my emotions were unstable. I came home with a hot heart because I fought with a best friend. My teacher also scolded me that day.

When Mom saw my sour face, she asked simply.

"Why are you late?"

I immediately shouted at Mom.

"Mom stop being a busybody can you? I am tired!"

I ran into my room and slammed the door hard. I sat in the room feeling guilty. I knew I was rude. I waited for Mom to come knock on the door and scold me.

But the house was silent.

I waited for a long time too. Suddenly the door knob turned slowly. Mom did not even come in. She just pushed the door a little. She put a small tray on the floor.

On the tray there was hot tea and dry crackers buttered for me. Mom spoke softly from outside the door.

"Drink a little. Let your heart cool down."

After that she went back to the kitchen. At that moment I cried.

Turns out mother's love does not mean she has to fix our behavior right at that moment. Mom chose to be quiet. She gave me space to calm down. She filled that space with food.

Mom's Promise About Food

This reminds me of a story from my friend named Sarah. Sarah once told me about a memory with her mom.

At that time Sarah was sad because she could not get a job for a long time. She felt like a burden to the family. One evening she sat in the kitchen watching her mom cut onions.

Sarah gathered her courage to speak.

"Sorry Mom. I have not found a job yet. I feel useless."

Sarah's mom did not stop cutting onions. She did not even turn around. She just answered calmly.

"Provision is God's work. As long as Mom is alive, Sarah do not worry about rice in this house."

That sentence was simple. But for Sarah, that sentence made her strong again. Her mom did not call her lazy. Her mom gave her safety.

This is the key to a strong family relationship. We feel safe when we fall because we know someone will catch us.

Mom's Love Language Now I finally understand.

Sometimes we think empathy means we have to be busy asking about people's problems. But actually empathy is often silent.

Our moms might not be good at saying I love you. They might not be good at hugging like in the dramas. But their language of love is on the plate that is never empty.

There is one sentence my mom always uses. When I come home, no matter if I am sad or happy, Mom will greet me.

"Eat first. Later it gets cold."

That is not just an invitation to eat. That is Mom's way of telling me she is there. Usually after the stomach is full, big problems feel a little lighter.