The Little Black Book

Erick Ruden was in the prime of his life. Graduated top of his class at the University of Iowa school of Medicine and is in his first year of residency at the University’s hospital. He enjoyed working in the pediatric unit, where from the windows you got a view of the Kinnick football stadium and all of the college games that were played throughout the season. The kids were brimming with excitement every time they got the opportunity to watch, which brought serene joy to Erick’s heart in his choice to dedicate his career to these children.

Erick was not only a success in his class and career work, but his home life as well. Erick just recently married the love of his life, Julie Garner, a bright young woman two years his junior, and a newly appointed accounting professional who has recently began her own firm. The 26 and 24 year olds were happy as could be. Although, they were under the pressure of how to enjoy a trip away. Their professional commitments were allowing for them each to go on a vacation for a week, but financially, they were concerned as student loan debt reared it’s ugly head monthly.

“Honey, don’t worry, somehow I will make sure you get to travel. You have worked so hard, you deserve this break,” Erick told a noticeably tired Julie, while preparing a fresh dinner for her along with a glass of wine. “If you could choose anywhere, anywhere at all, where would it be?”

“Anywhere with you, with no interruptions, is perfect to me,” Julie responded, though it was apparent to Erick that she was thinking about something.

“What are you thinking?” Erick inquired.

“When I was little, my parents took me to the Grand Canyon. It was so beautiful. I want to enjoy the sight there again, go on a hike, enjoy nature,” Julie explained, “it’s been so long, I just want to see it again.”

“Then let’s do it,” Erick concluded.

Just then came a knock on their apartment door, “who could that be?” Erick wondered, as both of their families lived a hundred miles away, and neither of them were expecting visitors. When Erick answered the door, he was confused, nobody was there, although sitting on the doormat was a little black notebook, with the logo of his college team on the front. “Weird,” Erick said as he brought it inside.

“Who was it?” Julie questioned.

“Nobody, but whoever came by left this book,” Erick responded, and as he opened it, he came across one note, the rest were just blank pages. Julie then asked him to read the note, so Erick did.

“My dearest son, years ago I had a relationship with your mother, and through the deepest sorrows of my heart I never got to know you. It brings me great joy to know that you were found. I know it must be difficult for understanding, but I knew then was not a good time for me to raise you, but hearing of your successes has brought joy to my heart. Son, there is no easy way to reconcile this, but I have a very limited number of days left as I write this from Mercy Hospital in Des Moines. My heart is failing, but I hope that in this time you can come and visit me at least once, and I can give you something to help you in your life. Love always, your father, Don.”

Erick was speechless. He never knew his real father. Only his mom’s ill-speech towards him. He knew that if his father was dying, he needed to see him, and Julie’s reassuring eyes and touch only affirmed that thought. He called work, he was given family leave, and his wife took off from work as well. The next morning, they took the drive out to Des Moines.

It was difficult to see his father lying there. 26 years of not knowing him, shrunk down to just a couple of days of life left. He was conflicted as part of him wanted to be angry, but he knew better than to let anger get in the way of his only chance to get to know his father, so he did. The following two days Erick and Julie spent every waking moment with Don, getting to know him, sharing life experiences, meeting his wife and his other two children, Harley and Joshua, until the moment he told Erick that he knew money could never pay for a life of lost time, but that he would like to give him part of an inheritance.

The following day, Don passed away, leaving Erick and Julie $20,000, an RV, and another letter to remember him by. So Erick offered to use his part of the inheritance to donate to his children’s wing of the hospital, his wife’s accounting firm, and set aside $12,000 and the RV to take Carol (Don’s wife), Harley, and Joshua out with him and Julie to the Grand Canyon following Don’s cremation, and spread his ashes over the beautiful horizon. Erick was at peace, he wished he could have spent more of his life with his real father, and wondered why his mother didn’t tell him anything about him.

Erick and Julie returned to their home and to Erick’s surprise, his mother was standing in the little of the living room, dressed in all black, she turned and faced him and Julie and burst into tears. Erick sat her down with him on the couch, and when she could finally speak, she choked back tears, while saying, “I’m sorry. I robbed you and your father of a life together through my own pride. I told him that I didn’t want him around, that he wasn’t good enough, and now he’s gone,” said his mother, Tera.

“Mom...” responded Erick, through tears of his own, “I can’t bring myself to blame you. I wish you would have told me more, and that I could have gotten that time with him, but it’s done now. I can’t change it. You are still my mother, though, and I’m still your boy.”

The two embraced, and Julie prepared a fine dinner for the three of them. They shared stories and caught up on life’s events over dinner. Just before Tera left, Julie revealed a surprise, saying “I was beginning to get suspicious in how I have been feeling recently, so I went to the urgent care one day while Erick was speaking with his dad, and as it turns out, we’re going to have a baby.”

Erick beamed with excitement, and Tera began crying, this time for joy, and the three of them shared in one more embrace as the evening came to a close.