The Last Sunny Day With My Grandad

July 4th 2018 is the day that this happened. Now that I'm reflecting on it. Its become one of the most blessed days of my life that I'll forever cherish. The day stared like this. We haven't seen sun in a while (Seattle weather). And my grandad had just came back from a nursing home. He was recovering from a health related scare. It felt great having him back home and not dealing with doctors and nurses 24/7. Life was back to normal and the weather that day was a plus. He asks me if we could run some errands today and I was glad to help. I was also acting as his care giver at the the time. We headed out to get our day started. We picked up some meds and toiletries at the local Walgreens. And some lottery tickets at the neighboring corner store. All while seeing some familiar faces that recognized me and my grandad. Seeing him laugh having conversations with people who weren't his nurse or doctors 24/7 made me happy that he was back to his old routine.

Once all the regular stuff was done. My grandad didn't feel like going home. So he tells me, "Hey you wanna get something to eat?" He was always the one to offer a meal to any of his friends and family. And I'm always one to never turn down free food. Plus all we were gonna do once we got home was prepare him for bed. It was great that he wanted this trip to go on a little longer. I'm thinkin yes! Maybe his strength was all the way back. So I tell him, "yeah I am a little hungry." We make our way to a frequent buffet spot we go to. I helped him with his meal then got mine and looked for our seats.

It didn't hit me till thinking about this later. The food was only part of the activity. The real bonding always occurred once the conversation started. Thinking about this last sunny day also made me remember the many other times my grandad offered a meal, whether it be with my friends or family. Laughs and smiles would always be shared other than just the food. We always would know how our friends and families lives were going after the meal. This was the rare times we'd share our stresses in life and we'd leave feeling a little better. An uncle, aunt or my grandad would share their wisdom plus add the belly full of food that makes for the perfect medicine for your mental health.

Our last sunny day together was pretty much the same as its always been. Until we started eating. All the times I was telling my grandad about my plans for the rest of my day, my goals and aspirations, what's happening between the mariners and Seahawks, who his favorite fighter Manny Pacquiao was gonna fight next, or Manny Pacquiao's older classic fights all over a meal changed. He tells me he's tired and is starting to feel a little sleepy. This buffet spot allows you to bring 1 plate home for left overs. I coulda went for more than 1 but I didn't want to eat if he couldn't so we packed our things and headed home. Our conversation carried on our way back. It wasn't as awake as when we first left. I didn't think nothing of it. Maybe he finally got tired. We finished the days activates. And we talked about our plans for the rest of the week. Once home we ended the days activates with some classic WWE wrestling matches.

A few more weeks passed by and turned to months. There were no more days we had together like that. If we did go out it was just for an appointment. We'd still make time to watch our favorite hometown teams and sporting events on TV, but his conversations became less and less lively, less and less awake until his passing. At the time I didn't think about this happening. I know everyone dies, but with him I kept thinking it wouldn't till another handful of years. The image of my grandad always being at the head of the table. Never asking for help despite having multiple strokes walking with a cane then walker and still helping himself was always a powerful image to me. so when he had his health scare. I kept telling him, "Well get you strong again. Well have your strength back to normal just wait." Sadly he never fully recovered.

My mind was always accustomed to him bouncing back and becoming the old grandfather I knew who'd laugh at the stories you'd tell him. He'd smile and sometimes tear up at accomplishments you'd share with him in life. Hell when I was a kid going to the boxing gym everyday he told me over a meal, "One day I'll sit in the front row and watch you fight for the belt." (sorry I slacked on that grandad *tears* lol)

What I learned from that last sunny day and the overall activity was. Sharing delicious food can be a means to strengthen bonds. This is one of the reasons why I always go with my mom when she invites me to I Hop. We joke, laugh and share stories of life all while enjoying a delicious breakfast for lunch. There's two important things there 1. the food, and 2. the bonding. When food is first in the activity. Bonding is guaranteed to happen. When its just the bonding. That's a little harder for me to get rolling. I'll tell you why.

Because of my grandad I've also made myself available to family and friends I haven't seen in a while. Thinking about that day and the other days made me remember how important bonding was. My grandad was a very social person. I was slowly turning unsociable. Long story short I was hating humanity because of betrayals from every corner of my life and ended up shielding most people away. The humanity I saw within my grandad told me I was wrong. It was then I forgave most betrayals in my life and opened up to people more. This man has been through a war as a child. Found his way to raise himself out of that, lived a better life for his children to be born and saw his children have children. Then those kids eventually had kids. He Laughed with those children, cried with them, fought with them. But he always forgave. That was it right there. "Forgiveness," How could I fully live life if I wasn't able to do that? After what he's been through to bring himself here. It would be a disservice to his name to keep living my life the way I'm living. People can be cool to hangout with to. So that's what I did. A little bit later on down the road I ended up riding a Tandem bike with my family members (none who betrayed me. lol) on a summer day. I wish my grandad was around to see that. I was always "too cool" for that type of stuff when he was around.

I also find myself giving more because of my grandad. If were gonna be hanging out and not going out. I'll happily bring food to the function (and some alcohol...little bit of weed...okay really a lotta bit.) I guess seeing my grandad give time after time rubbed off on me. As I'm typing these last sentences I'm remembering all the places we went and conversations we shared with each other and with other people. And how I myself am somewhat continuing this tradition I've learned from him. It makes me feel grateful for the times we shared and priceless memories we had. Its also made me aware of the short time we have on earth. If I could condense these memories to an overall lesson it would be, "Love with all your strength as much as you can." It's tiring but going the other route and just hating and blaming seems like a cop out to why things in life suck if you ask me. Looking at my grandad and thinking about those sunny days I shared with him. I remember seeing the joy and happiness on his face all the way till the end. Until his last story he shared with me about his school dances. That kind of strength in being positive in any situation can make a person seem immortal in a child's eyes. That's something I'll try and live by till my final days like him. He led by example and not just words. And I am extremely grateful I got to witness that.