The last chance

The last chance to catch the warm sunbeams before the upcoming winter, people stretching like sleepy tomcats on the benches. Eva did not particularly care about warmth but she was coming to read in the park for the sake of fresh air. If the air anywhere in this city deserved to be called fresh, she thought and smiled dryly. Relatively fresh, then. Relativism wasn’t so bad in her opinion.

Despite her ambitious plans for the last half an hour a newly bought book lay unopened next to her, while Eve was staring into space. Her indifference to the long-awaited bestseller surprised her. Although that was on the verges of her consciousness. She wasn’t even thinking intensely, rather clearing the mind, looking for the elusive state when her head was filled with white silence.

Even though she wasn’t thinking about it, she was dimly aware of the conversation she had this morning. She had almost forgotten about it but now it came back to her, unwelcome. She picked up the phone without any suspicion. The worried voice of her mother shocked her. She tensed her body subconsciously expecting what she may hear. She did not like surprises.

‘Eve… I don’t know how to say it… he is not well, I won’t pretend with you, he had tests yesterday. I need to stay here, so that I can get quickly to the hospital if anything happens,’ her voice cracked.

‘Sure, I understand, no problem, you will visit me some other time,’ she was perfectly composed, her voice not revealing any of the emotions she experienced just a while ago.

‘Yes, we will arrange something when I find out more…’

The moment of silence on the line was heavy with expectation. She anticipated hearing what she really didn’t want to hear.

‘Don’t you think that this could be a good moment… I mean, we don’t know what’s gonna happen to him…’

‘No,’ she cut in.

‘But you should visit him,’ her mother bursted out, ‘I know it wasn’t going on so well between you but this may be the last chance, to forget, forgive…’

‘Really?! What for? I don’t feel like it. I don’t need it. And I don’t think he does.’

There was still a voice on the other end of the line but Eve cut her mid-sentence and switched off the phone. What was she even thinking, calling her like that, pressing her?

Now Eve was sitting on the bench and she had managed to void her mind successfully. She noticed a funny looking hobo. He was wearing odd garments, sitting under a pear tree, listening to music on a mobile. She always wondered what those people were actually thinking, how come they have ended up on the streets. And why the hell were they all having mobiles? Still, her curiosity was not great enough so as to actually talk to any of them.

However, it seemed that this time she was going to find out more. The man noticed her, caught her gaze, and smiled. Oh no, not that, she thought seeing him rising from his sunny spot, collecting the meagre belongings he had, and walking in her direction.

‘Hi, my name is Paul.’

*

She could not get rid of the impression he had made on her. His image would come back to her over the following days, while she was shopping, taking a bus, drinking coffee. The book she wanted to read then remained on the bench, she realised. I wonder if he came back to collect it. Why had some a bit delusional bum stuck so vividly in her memory?

It was a summer day and she was walking the path next to the river. She was deep in her thoughts so it took a while before she realised somebody was calling her name. She turned and noticed him.

‘Hi Eve, how are you doing?’

‘Hi Paul! I am surprised you remember me.’

‘How could I forget? You were so nice. It’s not often that such nice girls actually want to speak with beggars like me.’

He was looking worse than the last time, more haggard, perhaps he was sick she thought. Or maybe just not getting enough food.

‘Do you fancy going with me for lunch?’ she asked before her reason could stop her.

‘You know it’s going to be on you, don’t you?’

She nodded. They went to a cafe nearby and she bought some takeaway sandwiches. She did not want to cause a sensation bringing him inside and anyway it was so nice in the sun. They agreed to meet each Sunday, read together, have a meal, chat. It was something she suggested although she did not know where the impulse came from. It lasted for the whole of the summer and autumn and she really enjoyed his company.

*

One week he was not there. It surprised her but she did not make much of it. When the following week she came and he wasn’t there she started feeling unquiet. She tried asking other homeless if they knew him and learned from one of his buddies that Paul had collapsed one day and was taken to the hospital and then to a shelter to recover. Without thinking she decided to go and visit him there.

She knew the place and the director, Jess, as she was volunteering there earlier during her studies. The building was not very nice, a simple block of concrete with thick walls and little colour inside. Only when she arrived did she think that maybe he would not like to see her in this situation. It might not be easy for him. She grabbed the bag with food she prepared tighter and determined walked in.

Her worries were unjustified. Paul beamed as soon as he noticed her.

‘Eve, my angel, I am so lucky that you found me!’

She smiled broadly even as she noticed the shades under his eyes and his stooping posture. It did not look as if he had recovered.

After the meeting, she went to see Jess and talk to her about Paul.

‘I will be honest with you. He had a heart attack and his health is not so good. As long as he stays with us it should be fine, but he wants to get out as soon as the spring comes. It’s great that you visited him. He was talking about you a lot. I think contact with you really helps him, who knows, maybe you could even convince him to stay with us longer.’’

*

It was quite dark already by the time the funeral had finished. The cold drizzle was sticking to her clothes and face. She was oblivious to it. She stood over the grave as other mourners began to disperse. Eva was really surprised at the number of them. And judging from their looks those were not only people from the shelter or from the streets.

The cemetery was almost empty. Jessie approached her and gently placed her hand on her arm.

‘There’s something I need to talk to you about.’

‘What is it Jess?’

‘I guess I’ll just go straight into it. Paul left you some inheritance. In fact, quite a substantial one.’

Eva laughed despite herself.

‘Inheritance? He hardly got a penny, poor man. If he was wealthy he wouldn’t have been on the streets!’

As she looked intently at Jess her smile disappeared.

‘You see, he was really a curious man. I had no idea myself until the moment before his death when he confessed the truth to me. Paul had a very hard history… The thing is, he once had a daughter, lovely girl, she would be your age, I’ve seen her pictures. In his previous life Paul was a successful businessman. But he was also an alcoholic. One day he was picking up his daughter from school but he already had a few. They had an accident, Paul landed in IE for a long time but recovered. His little girl though was killed on the spot.’

‘He received a sentence but was released early for good conduct and because of health problems, the aftermath of the accident. However, he decided to inflict self-punishment on himself. He put all his money into the account to be accessed only after his death by whomever he chooses and went on to live in the streets. Then he met you.’

The tears were falling down Eva’s cheeks, mingling with the now heavy rain. She was unable to speak for a long while. Then, she whispered.

‘I will use that money in a way that will make you proud.’