The Illusion of Wealth

We’re constantly told that life has never been better, we have more tech, more options and more freedom, but for many families in the UK, it really doesn’t feel that way. Despite working longer hours and earning more money, lots of people are finding it harder to get by, let alone get ahead.

Take something simple, like buying a house. My parents managed to purchase their first home using one income and some savings. Today? You’re lucky if you can save enough for a deposit even with both partners working full-time. In many cases it’s often parents or grandparents that help with the deposit. This is not about nostalgia for simpler times or arguing over who should work. The issue is deeper, it's about choice. The ability and freedom to build a life around what works for your family has slowly disappeared.

This article isn’t about looking back to older times or resisting change. It’s about taking a closer look at the truth of modern-day living: what looks like progress might actually be a step backwards, at least when it comes to real living standards.

We tend to measure wealth by income, but ask anyone who is juggling bills each month, and they'll tell you. What really counts isn’t just how much you earn, but how far that income stretches, and whether you have a bit of money left at the end of the month to build savings and to actually enjoy life.

Only a few decades ago, the typical family would have had one person working full-time and the other person at home, usually the mum. Families had far fewer gadgets and smaller houses, possibly no car either, but they had something many people today are sorely missing: stability. A mortgage was manageable, savings were possible, and there would usually be a holiday to look forward to, even if it was just a week at the seaside.

Fast-forward to now and you generally have both parents working full-time, quite often with overtime or weekends being worked as well, just to cover the basics. On the surface, we might seem better off, having newer cars, smartphones or takeaway coffees, but a lot of that is fuelled by debt. There’s a big difference between having something and owning it outright.

There was a time when one income could support a household. That’s not to say it was easy, or that the old ways were better. But what’s important is that people used to have the option. One parent, again, usually the mother, could choose to stay home with the kids if that suited the family. These days, for most, that’s simply not possible.

The real issue isn’t that both parents are working, it’s that, for many families, they have no choice. Work is no longer about career growth or personal fulfilment, quite often, it’s a financial necessity.

Today, even with two full-time salaries, many couples find themselves just getting by. The cost of living, from childcare, rent and everyday bills, has soared. One wage often isn’t enough, and the second income can vanish quickly in nursery fees, transport costs, and rising household expenses.

It’s not really about whether both parents should be working, it’s whether they’ve got much of a choice. And for a lot of people, they don’t. It’s not that it fits their lifestyle or gives them some extra breathing room, it’s just that one wage on its own doesn’t even come close to covering the basics.

From the outside, things might look alright. We've got stuff, plenty of it. Smartphones, next-day deliveries, new cars with monthly payments, but when you stop and think, most of it isn’t really ours in the way it used to be. It’s borrowed, financed, rented, or stacked on credit. It might feel like progress, but half the time it’s just a shinier kind of struggle.

Many families are what you might call “asset rich, cash poor”. They live in decent homes, but are stretched to the limit every month. Wages go straight out on bills, debts, and the cost of keeping up. Credit cards bridge the gap, and ‘buy now, pay later’ has become standard practice; in the case of many new cars, 'pay forever, never own!’

We’re living in a culture that pushes us to consume constantly. There's pressure to appear successful, to have the right clothes, go on the right holidays, post the right lifestyle. But behind that filtered photo is often someone counting down the days to payday.

In the past, people had less, but they also worried less. There was a kind of contentment in modest living that’s hard to find now. Today’s illusion of wealth is built on monthly repayments, long-term debt, and not nearly enough financial security.

With both parents working full-time and still barely keeping their heads above water, something’s got to give, and more often than not, it’s time. Time to be with the kids, time to just breathe. Sometimes you just want five quiet minutes to sit down and do nothing, just to stop, but even that feels like a luxury. Life has sped up, and not in a good way. Ambition is not the driving factor here, it’s survival.

It’s that gnawing guilt, knowing the bills need paying, but feeling like you’re missing out on everything that matters. The harm of this is not seen straight away, it's seen in the way people stare blankly at their phones, or when couples are sitting next to each other but not talking. Weekends are a mixture of errands & everything you didn’t do during the week: washing, cleaning, maintaining the house. It’s not simply tiredness, it’s the mental clutter, the low-level stress that hums constantly in the background and never really switches off.

It’s not all in our heads. Burnout’s becoming more common, anxiety, low moods and even physical symptoms are all part of a lifestyle that’s slowly grinding people down. Most people don’t even realise what’s happening to them until they hit a wall.

People say things like “at least we’ve got work” or “that’s just how life is now”, but is it? Is this really the standard we should accept today, where stress, fatigue and financial worry are just baked into daily life? It’s worth remembering that not so long ago, people had less money, fewer gadgets and fewer choices maybe, but they also had way more balance. And honestly, that might be worth more than any of the stuff we’re working ourselves to death to afford.

If there’s one thing that sums up the change between then and now, it’s housing. A generation ago, buying a modest house was more than achievable. The 'price to income ratio’ was sensible and mortgages didn’t last until retirement and beyond.

Today, house prices have exploded. First-time buyers require huge deposits, but high rents prevent saving. For many young people, the dream of owning a home of their own is just that, a dream. Even those who do manage to buy are often committing to a mortgage of 30 or 35 years duration.

Adding to this is the rise of precarious working patterns. Job security isn’t what it once was. Contracts are short-term, zero hour, or freelance. Add in stagnant wages and ever-climbing living costs, and the picture becomes clear, people aren’t building wealth, they’re dodging disaster. Financial security has become a dream for many, not an achievable reality, and that worries me.

When my parents bought their first home, a single income was enough to support the whole family, and to pay for an annual holiday. Today, that feels unimaginable. Even when two people are working full-time, many families are only just getting by. Changes like this are not just about lifestyle or expectations, it’s about the value of money itself.

Over time, the real value of the pound has shrunk. Wages haven’t kept pace with the cost of housing, energy, childcare, or even the weekly shop. What was once possible on one salary now often needs two, and even then, there’s not much left over. It’s not about longing for the past, but about recognising that something fundamental has changed. If the same money no longer goes as far, then perhaps the real story here is that we’re earning more, but living with less.

This isn’t about pretending the past was perfect. It's not a call to go backwards, but perhaps it’s time to ask whether chasing more, more belongings, more image, more unnecessary extras, is really making life better. Real wealth isn’t about piling up all this extra stuff. It’s about needing less. It’s about having time to actually live, peace of mind without the constant pressure, and room to just `be’, without crunching numbers every time you need a loaf of bread.

Maybe the first step is to stop chasing the illusion of “more”, to stop competing and comparing with friends and neighbours, and to stop buying the latest devices to convince ourselves that we’re keeping up with everyone around us. If we're honest with ourselves, there’s a lot more value in just slowing down, simplifying, and figuring out what really matters in life.