The Heart of Stars Journal

The Heart of Stars Journal

Early one morning in a small town in northern Washington a young woman by the name of Estrella Diaz yawned , stretched and leapt from her bed , beginning the day with an unusually light bounce in each step . Arriving early to work allowed Estrella just enough time to thoroughly savor a cup of steaming hot coffee . Sitting content while swirling it about with a spoon , a habit she enjoyed , but rarely had time for . Settling herself at a table by the window to enjoy the view of purple mountains beneath a brilliant blue sky .

“It's great that you’re here early i've been wanting to talk to you star.”

The stearn deep voice of Miles Harding, her manager filled the empty room . After having a certain degree of difficulty pronouncing her full name he’d taken to calling her star instead (Estrella didn't mind. Her own mother had called her star since she was a young girl .)

“You're doing an amazing job , but unfortunately we aren't seeing enough business in our restaurant . I'm going to have to let you go .”

Working through her last shift Estrellas mind was filled only with thoughts of how she was going to survive . Dropping a tray of dishes during the noon rush left a hollow feeling inside her that somehow was managing to transform her beautiful day into a rather gloomy afternoon . Estrella failed to notice the dark ominous clouds looming overhead as she drove home .Fierce anxiety within her began to build as a light buzzing from her passenger seat vexed her incessantly . Giant drops of rain began falling upon her windshield as she pulled into the driveway .Picking up the phone to read a message from her father

“ Hey Esa, it's dad , sending you some money , I won't be able to make it after all , I just can't get away from work . Love you .”

Taking a few deep breaths , reminding herself it was just his nature after all this happened every birthday .Stepping inside she dropped herself on the couch still soaking wet .Just outside heavy rain began to pour , as the phone in her vibrated in the pocket of her thick coat . She fumbled to find it , anticipation grew rapidly as she was eager to hear those soft calming tones of her mothers voice .Estrella was briefly annoyed when a man's voice asked ;

“Hello is this Estrella Diaz ? “

“ Yes may I ask who’s calling ?”

“This is Mercy Hospital , we have just admitted your mother Mary Diaz , and you are listed as an emergency contact.”

“ Is my mother okay , what happened, can I talk to her ? ”

“ I'm afraid that's not possible at this time , we’ll discuss everything when you arrive at the hospital .”

Hanging up the phone , that same hollow feeling from earlier that day swelled like a tidal wave , buckling her over in pain . Hoping , wishing for this feeling to be wrong , Estrella knew than her mother was gone .

Grabbing her purse and walking outside the rain masked her tears , lightning struck as she numbly walked towards the hospital a few miles down the road .

Arriving at Mercy hospital , exhausted , trembling with fear, grief and pain all at once …. Estrella turned and bolted

She ran and ran until she couldn't go on any further . Just as she was about to collapse from sheer exhaustion , the sky began to clear over a small park. Following a worn concrete path she admired the dew kissed grass glistening in the bright sunlight , surrounding a wooden gazebo . On a bench in the shade she spotted a very old black leather bound book . Searching about for the books owner , realizing soon after that she was all alone .

Slowly reaching out to the book running her fingers along its smooth leather surface . Pondering over how her life had changed in an instant she found it difficult to breathe or even think clearly she mindlessly opened the book .

“ This journal belongs to … You .” was written

Its original owner's name had been blotted out , almost as if weathered away , smeared and distorted only three letters remained y-o and a lonesome distanced u . Focusing on that word she felt herself being drawn into the journal .Reading along the way home Estrella returned unable to set the book down . However creative the contents of this book were, its pages lacked crucial editing . Lost in sorrow as she began revising this series of wondrous fables that grief somehow vanished . As her pen moved swiftly across the paper , so swiftly in fact it seemed magical. The structure of this book was all Estrella could concentrate on and the world around her seemed to fade away the deeper she immersed herself .

Mesmerized by this journal, unable to think clearly at all she toiled diligently until falling fast asleep at her desk . Estrella dreamt of her parents divorce when she was young , and how she'd one found a soothing structure in proper english . Soon after that Estrella became a know it all , constantly correcting anyone and everyone around her . Friends and family found this habit of hers extremely annoying . Harshly ridiculed for this obsessive behavior Estrella was forced to put aside this passion in an attempt to fit in .

Awaking as the sun rose she found strength and purpose in what she’d accomplished that evening . Reaching out to a dear trusted friend she sent him a sample of her revisions so far, Estrella then got dressed and headed out to the hospital once more .Years later this very day would be blocked from her memory , long past the somber funeral and a procession of endless mourners … The only memory Estrella would recall from this day was the pale complexion of her mother's lifeless face .

Losing herself completely, life came to a grinding halt as she hid from the world .When time passed Estrella finally found the strength to sit down at her computer to look through her emails . The story had taken off various messages from publishers flooded her inbox . Soon money flowed and estrellas every desire was in reach yet nothing could soothe her aching soul .

A full year passed as the anniversary of Mary's passing approached . Estrella went to her bookshelf and pulled down a first edition copy of her collective works .Looking at her name neatly engraved below each title something felt wrong . Unlocking her safe Estrella removed the journal, Holding it close to her chest she could smell the sweet leather and weathered pages .Opening the book she began to read,

“ To whoever finds this journal , here in these pages remains my heart and soul bound to a world born of my very dreams . When I found myself lost or down on my luck these stories led me to my life's one joy writing . This book is now yours, All I might ask is that perhaps you enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it , may you find that same peace someday .

Those words resonated within her , she finally understood that the author was sharing this book hoping to make someone's life better . Such financial success began causing chaos in her day to day life . Soon she decided to leave this place she once called home - Estrella began to rid herself of all she owned, donating everything purchased from royalties of the book . Setting aside only twenty thousand dollars to begin life elsewhere . Walking outside to load the last few boxes a voice rang out .

“Estrella Diaz .. are you Ms . Diaz ?”

Turning around she came face to face with a tall pale skinned woman with fiery red hair glaring at her with obvious contempt .

“Im sorry … Who are you ?” Estrella replied as the obviously aggravated woman approached .

“ It doesn't matter who I am , what matters is who you stole that journal from . That man was my friend and all he ever wanted to do was help others find their dreams .. not buy you a bunch or worthless garbage !

“But he did help a lot of people actually after I donated everything .” Estrella responded .

After explaining herself estrella asked ,

“ So what's your name ?”

“Im sorry... How rude of me , I'm Lily .”

“How lovely lilies are my favorite flower , so what lies ahead in life for you? "

Lily paused for a moment in thought caught off guard .

“ Honestly I really don't know i wasnt thinking and I only got a one way ticket here .”

Lily's mind had been so filled with anger and frustration towards this unknown author ,she had blindly entered estrellas life and found herself uncertain of where her own journey might lead .

“ I'll tell you what, why don't you just come with me ?”

“Where to ?” replied lily .

“To Arizona I would love it if you could tell me more about the original author and yourself,'' Estrella said with a smile .

“His journal sent me on the most amazing adventures of my life.Those tales saved me , being able to put those words together and finally share them with this world has been the most amazing gift . Each story took my mind beyond the skies past the horizon , to places unknown , I traveled the depths of the ocean and foraged though jungles at his side . That's how I survived , through his book .”

Instinctively the two fell into deep conversation over their shared love of literature and the author himself . Cheerfully they headed to the airport together laughing as if they had been lifelong friends . Slowly they built a life together pairing lillys creative mind with Estrellas passion, always ready to edit another page .Years passed and although both women were perfectly successful and content, Estrella reamined forever haunted by night terrors which invaded her dreams constantly . That image of mothers pale face caught in the grip of death , just a touch from Lily and those images would fade .

In the later days of a long happy life together their family grew from two to three with the addition of a new adopted baby boy named Christopher . Years of bliss followed while they watched their child grow and play on that old farm , but still her nightmares lingered on. Through every book they'd written together their son lived each of their stories alongside them . One afternoon young Christopher came to Estrellas' side with a soaking copy of her book that had been damaged by a recent storm . Seeing the discouraged look in his eyes ,Estrella said.

“ Don't worry I have the original right here .

Reaching behind a shelf she dusted off the old weathered journal . It didn't appear to be damaged , just touching its hardened cover gave her chills . Slowly she opened it to find it completely empty . Every page was blank thinking perhaps she'd misplaced the original book elsewhere as she continued to search about .

“No that wouldn't be possible, this was the journal only it was blank .” Estrella thought to herself handing Christopher the journal she spoke gently.

“ Here take this journal you can create anything you want to with it. Journals such as these can be anything at all . You can save your fondest memories or battle pirates out at sea , climb Mt Everest for breakfast or have dinner on the moon, that choice is up to you .”

Later that night not long after falling asleep Estrella was awoken by a familiar gentle touch to her cheek . Gone forever was the nightmare that haunted her dreams , it would be replaced by this view of her mother's radiant face smiling down upon her as she called out .

“ My star … you've shined brighter than I ever imagined .. the author of that journal saw his dreams come to life because of you now we must move on .. I have to go now dear always remember how much I will always love you .”

Awakened with tears of joy she felt Lily's arm wrap tightly around her .

“Are you okay,'' Lily whispered .

Finally able to remember her mother fondly tears of joy fell as she smiled .

“ No, I'm fine , it was only a beautiful dream .”