The First Time

The first time!

There is a first time for everything. But does it cross your mind that the first time could mean just about anything? It's scary when those words exit your child's mouth. These words could mean anything. When we were younger and had our first time, we would hide it from our parents.

But now we are trying to teach our children to tell us everything. There will be no repercussions if you tell us everything. But try and tell us before it happens. I know I have been attempting to teach my kids that I am always here to listen if they ever need to talk about anything. Don't be scared to speak up.

It's hard to get any child to understand that. They think if I tell my mom this, she will be mad and yell at me in the back of their minds. But to enforce that, no, we won't be upset. We want to know what's going on in their life. To make sure they are being safe about any decision they are making.

When your a single parent and don't have the other half to help only means you have to be the mother and father. When you have boys and girl's makes it even harder. It's hard to tell your son how to be a good man and the things he should do and not do. Your other half should be the one doing that for you. But it doesn't work like that when your a single parent or even a single mother.

I'm speaking from the mother's point of view. Only because I am a single mother and I know what it's like to be a single parent. I have been doing it for 14 years now. It only gets more complicated the older they get. Especially boys. I can sit down with my daughter and talk to her about all the girl things that happen as we grow up. But it's hard to sit down with my son and do the same thing.

The boys expect everything to be so easy, and it should be. Have a sit-down with your son and talk to them. About changes, their body will be going through. A mother should never have to endure that. I know it was hard for me to sit down and talk to my son about that.

Now that I sit down and talk to my daughter about her body changes is easy for me to do. I have been through the changes she will be experiencing soon. You know, when it's time for that talk, they are no longer your little girl. She is growing up and becoming a lady.

When your daughter starts asking you about periods and her body's development, she is no longer a child. There is no babying her anymore. It's sad for a mother to see her little girl grow up even though she will always be your little girl. Too bad, you can't keep them little.

So my daughter comes to me and starts asking me when I started my first period? Because she is 12 now, and that was close to the age, I started mine. But she keeps asking me why she has not begun hers yet. She keeps asking me that for months. Then one day, she comes down and said, mom, I need pads. I think I started my period.

I wanted to cry hearing those words come out of her mouth. But I held it together and told her how to do everything and what to expect. She never had many questions because I told her for years that it will be coming soon. All she could say was not soon enough. Then the day comes where she had an attitude about everything.

That's when I knew she was about to start having her monthly. And she did just that. But she's always telling me to keep it to myself. I remember being embarrassed about having mine and not wanting my mom to say anything.

My daughter is about to go on a church field trip, and all she keeps saying is, I hope I don't start while I'm there. I told her, well, you have to take pads with you just in case you. I'm always telling her that she will have to have them with her at all times now. That you never know when you will start it again. Only because your body is not used to bleeding every month, it's still getting on a schedule.

That was the best day for her when she started. I told her, you are grown now—your not my little girl anymore. My daughter says, mom, don't cry. I will always be your little girl. I can't believe my daughter is growing up so fast.

My son, on the other hand, when he was 12, had his first girlfriend. I never thought I had to tell him about safe sex yet. But he comes home one day and said, mom, I just had sex for the first time. There were so many questions running through my mind. I didn't know where to begin.

I have already had to have a talk with him about playing with himself in public. It was a complicated conversation for me to have. I'm his mother; I should not be the one to tell him about this stuff. I started to google things before even trying to talk to him about it. It's crazy how much you use google for everything in your life.

But it did help me on how I should approach this subject with him. the first thing out of my mouth was none of this is terrible. It's what a boy goes through. But you don't do this type of stuff in public. Playing with yourself is to be done in your room with the door shut. Not in a room full of people.

Then he comes home one day telling me he had sex. I ask him if he used protection? That answer was a no. I couldn't believe it. Then we had a pregnancy scare. But thank god that didn't happen. But now I have to buy him condoms. I have to buy my 13-year-old condoms. WOW! I never thought I would have to do something like that.

Neither one of my kids are little anymore. I am a 32-year-old, and I will probably be a grandmother soon if my son doesn't keep his willie in his pants. I am not looking forward to that either. My daughter tells me all the time that she will never give me problems as her brother does.

I hope she learns from her brother's actions. But we all know it doesn't work like that. If it were only that easy, then life would go by like a windy day. But it's not. I have to deal with these problems every day now. The older they get, the more questions I have.

Those are just a few of " THE FIRST'S" I have come across with my kids. I hope it's a long time before I have to hear of any more firsts.