The Black Ledger

The black leger

The well-worn black leather notebook felt soft, in Emily's hands, she can’t think of a time she had ever seen her grandfather without it. The book was something he had always carried around and turned to almost like a bible. Now being handed the wight felt immense, well the weight of everything felt immense that is, as the executor of the will hand it to her.

Emily's grandfather had lived a good and long life, and as much as one could say his death was a good one. His past before meeting Emily’s grandmother was not too well know but he made her happy and was truly more a father to her mother than her biological father was. Donald was there for the family sense before Emely was born so to her, he was just gramps.

The memories of sitting on his lap and reading old books came flooding back to her as she took the book and pulled it close to her chest hugging it tightly, tears welling up. She felt completely alone as the lawyer placed the wax-sealed envelope on the desk in Infront of her, and walked out of the room asking her mother to follow.

“It was explicitly stated you were to have his moleskin leather notebook and that I was to ensure you were providing this letter and that you were to read it alone”

Emely had her legs pulled up and arms wrapped around the book on the antique solid wood chair with her head down, in her grandfathers’ study where she would spend her summer sitting reading books well her grandfather worked.

The moment they left the room she broke down crying as the fact he was well and truly gone had hit her. The night before when all the family was together morning the loss she could hear her aunts and uncles whispering about all the money he had and how much they all think they are going to get. Whispering turned into shouting as the drinks continued to pour into the night. Aunt Josie exclaimed she better get back at least double what she paid to arrange the funeral, well uncle Joe insisted he should and was going to get the lion's share as he made a point of spending way more time with him the left 5 years, he was ill. After the bickering went on and got loud enough Emely hear her mom go stomping into the room downstairs, letting them have it. “he is barely even cold in the ground and you are fighting over how much more the man can give you? And how much you are owed! Let's at least give it a day his lawyer is reading the will tomorrow, for fuck sakes” Jen exclaims with her voice cracking as she wells up with tears.

Emely now sitting in his study with his book and the letter on the desk kind of taking solace in the fact she is able to finally be on her own to morn him for the first time since she got the news of his passing. She slowly opened and unclenched her body as she ran her fingers across the cover feeling the fantastical embedded monogram design that her grandfather had used as his company’s logo. She opened the book and saw his first entry “today is my new begging, anything I write I can dream and anything I dream I can achieve” this was written center of the page in her grandfather's beautiful flowing calligraphy, the rest of the book was filled with similar hopefully messages, and his dreams. These dreams were things like getting to have a family of his own, working for himself doing what he loves, and many other great achievements in his life dated years before he achieved them. Flipping through the notes she found diary entries of all of his favorite memories, the pages well worn. Emely found that the last half of the book was blank, untouched, flipping back she found the final page he had made an entry on with a message to her. “ My granddaughter Emily, I am sorry I am not there to hold you and read with you in my study on the long summer months, But much like this book has been there to remind me of my hippest days and help me to focus on achieving my dreams, like becoming a part of your family and getting to immediately be a grandfather, I too hope you will find comfort in having my happiest memories with you well I want you to use the remainder of this book to add your dreams and happy memories to so you can look back on the happy times and look forward to your dreams that will come. “

Emily sat there taking in the smell of the study and the old books, the crackling of the fireplace, thinking back to the summers here with her granddad, tearing up a bit but with tears of joy thinking back to the time she spent with him and how much it hurts that he is gone but knowing she will always have the memories to keep with her.

After this she was finally able to open the letter that was left for her on the desk, the red wax seal had the same monogram logo that was on the cover of his notebook. The wax popped free all at once and there was a short letter in there reading “I plan to donate everything after paying off all current debts and final cost for my burial and on-going cost associated, but for you Emily I want to give you $20,000 to use to spend however you want to chase any dream you want. The only stipulation is the money is for you and your dreams that you write in my journal alone, I hope that with this you will have the wings to fly and a least chase your dreams instead of just looking to the next day. I have set the money aside just for you in a secrete private trust and the rest is donated to allow other young kids to do the same. Burn this letter after reading”

Emily’s heart raced, as she thought about being able to go after her dreams of designing a practical bag for guys and girls. Her parents let her play around with designing ideas at home using duct tape and a few other things but her parents always were quick to remind her it was a hobby and to be practical. She was never planning on skipping school or going all or nothing in on it but she had always wanted to at least try and over the last 3 years, she had gotten as far as she could without taking a big leap.

She put the letter back in the envelope and reluctantly, put it into the fireplace well watching it burn she smiled and said thanks, gramps.