The best marriage is one in which three views agree

Friends often say that three views are destroyed, integrity is broken. What is that three views after all, the feeling is very basic question, but maybe someone really can't answer. Even if the answer is up, and how many people have thought about it, it is estimated that very few.

The three views are outlook on life, values and world outlook. Generally speaking, outlook on life is how one should live in this life, values are what is the most precious in this life, and world outlook is what the world is like.

Good three views, let us understand the world, but also in a new understanding of their own.

1

The chart, compiled by the Data Report of China's post-1995 generation, shows that when it comes to what qualities are most important in a partner, unity of three values has overtaken personality, appearance and economy. Many people are surprised by the result, but if you think about it more closely, unity of three values really matters. In the future, the three views of discord will also become an important killer of marital relationship breakdown.

Is it different from our generation of people who value family status and economic education?

What is the real three views of conflict?

You like reading, he likes playing games, this is not called three views incompatible;

But he said what's the use of reading books? Now that's what I call a conflict.

You like to eat steak in western restaurants, he likes to masturbate in the food stalls, this is not called three views incompatible;

But he said it was too expensive and not good to eat, and that you were being pretentious, and that was the difference.

You like to travel to different places on vacation. He likes to stay at home.

But he said that there is no fun in traveling, is not to spend money to suffer, lying at home more comfortable, this is three views of conflict.

2

In fact, the consistency of three views does not mean that you have the same interests, preferences and ways of thinking, but that you can seek common ground while reserving differences, and understand, appreciate and tolerate them.

Otherwise, you share happiness with him, he thinks you are showing off; You tell him you're upset, and he thinks you're pretentious. To get along with people who disagree with you is more tiring than moving bricks, because he will not understand you at all.

You tell him how beautiful the sea is, he says you don't know how many people have drowned here;

When you say that you spend 480 to see a play, he says that's enough to see 10 movies.

You make up every day, he said you flatter; If you insist on going to the gym, he says you are a spender.

You like to buy flowers to decorate the home, he said that can not open a few days to fail, but also so expensive, buy it why! ...

What makes sense to you, makes sense to him.

You can hardly change his cognition, he will not understand your ideas, you are never on the same frequency, get along naturally very tired.

Especially in spending money on this matter, often become the most concentrated contradiction breaking point of three views.

For example, I have a good friend, May Day travel with her husband. At that time, the travel agency offered two packages, one was 1,800 yuan but included shopping, and the other was 3,500 yuan for fun.

She wants to choose 3500 pure play, but the husband thinks since all is a destination, of course choose cheap cost-effective, even if be pulled to go shopping, resolute do not buy is.

However, my best friend thinks that there is no point in wasting a lot of time on shopping because of the cheap package meals, poor food and accommodation, and being led by the guide. The couple finally have time to play, of course, to enjoy a little.

In the end, the two had a big quarrel, not only did not go to the trip, but also broke up in a bad way.

3

There are many such examples in life.

Small to dozens of pieces of coffee, large to hundreds of thousands of cars, too many marriages because of the different concept of consumption quarrel.

And in the noise, we forget the original intention, in fact, the original intention is "very positive", it may be looking for a place to relax the pressure of life and work, may be looking for a place to play a romantic couples trip......

But when the original intention is met with three views, the tragic end, as time goes by, no one remembers the original intention of this trip, and even the original intention of marriage!

Ruby told this story about her mother:

Lin's mother is an elegant person, even when she goes downstairs to take out the garbage, she always tidy up and dress neatly. Father Lin is handsome and makes a lot of money.

In the eyes of outsiders, they were a match made in heaven, but they divorced when Ruby was 12.

Lin said: "He is very nice, but can not get together, after all, a lifetime is too long."

The original Mother Lin like to grow flowers, but Lin father always play ash in the pot, throw cigarette butts; Lin mother loves clean, but Lin father does not love to take a bath, clothes throw; Lin's father is very profitable, but he seldom accompanies Lin's mother.

Later Mother Lin met Ruby's stepfather, he will buy beautiful flower POTS for Mother Lin's flowers and plants, will also take the initiative to wash clothes and clean up the house, but also can accompany Mother Lin walk to see the sunrise, study recipes......

Although they are small things, but in front of the three views of people who do not agree with the heart tired, in the eyes of the three views of people, become comfortable.

So, start with someone who shares your views.

He likes to play games, but he also supports you to read books;

He likes to stay at home, but is also willing to listen to your travel stories.

He likes to masturbate and go to the food stalls, but he can also walk you to a western restaurant.

4

All say love does not love is second, long place is not tired is the most important.

Life is really very long, money, appearance may only determine whether you can be together, but three views determine whether you are suitable to go on.

Do you feel it?

Teacher Wang Kun said: "the same frequency between husband and wife to resonance, communication to heart. Through consistent is at the heart of understanding, tolerance and communication, which is now most lacking in the marriage, we all want to dominate and control each other, but tend to forget that everyone is individual, the more we control, the other the farther the distance we couple quarrel, mutual biting, such problems as the cold war also intensified, finally to fall.

If you have the same outlook on life, you won't turn your home into a battlefield because of different lifestyles.

Consistent view of money, there will not be a lot of contradictions because of the money problem;

Life values are consistent, there will be no words to talk about because there is no common language;

Education view is consistent, will not cause differences because of education children, resulting in parents and children are not happy!

If you are not married, find someone who is as close to you as possible;

If you are married, but the other person has three views with you, please make efforts to communicate, understand and tolerate, participate in the same learning together, grow together, make our three views closer and closer.

The best marriages are those where we share a common direction and work together to grow. Thus more harmony, let life better.