grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
Passages
I write a blog. I keep a journal. I do it to stay sane, and sometimes refer to passages as my bitch-fests. As I scrolled through some of last year's work, I found this post, and thought I would share it. In some ways, we have progressed since this was first written. In others, well-- this little post emphasizes how far we still have to go.
By Paula Shablo5 years ago in Families
Tears
As the leaves fell so did the tears I felt for you. I remember you and I cry in agony knowing you will never return. You left me behind just like these leaves on the pavement. As they fly away I feel you flowing away more and more distant.Losing you was the worst pain I ever felt in my life.My best friend, my dragon, my love the one and only who truly understood me and never judged me because I was different. You taught me to embrace my wild side, my sensitive side. You taught me to be kind to people, even the ones that dont deserve it. Your laugh will never be forgotten but remembered and celebrated. You showed me love and what it's like to be loved in return. You taught me to be strong and to never give up. I wish I was there to pick you up when you were down and alone. I wish I could just hold you in my arms just once and tell you how amazing you are. As these tears flow from my eyes I remember your laugh and your warm kinded heart. Your smile bright as the sun as you walked into the room, and your presence which couldnt be ignored.
By Denise Ferreira5 years ago in Families
When the tears won’t stop
I recall that in the 1980’s a neighbor had a stroke and died. One of graduation daughters still lived at home and took it pretty hard. For about 6 months on 3 or 4 random occasions this young woman would let out a wail in church and cry. I felt so bad for her and several times I would go and give her a hug. She obviously loved her mother and was heartbroken over her death. I’ve always been one who easily got over death and moved on. This was true of my brother, mother, and grandmother. I loved them but did not have a relationship where their deaths weighed heavily on my mind.
By Cheryl E Preston5 years ago in Families
Movies
Firsts: Movies We all have a few movies that bring out tears, you know they’re coming, but you watch it anyway, it’s a healthy cry, it sweeps the cob webs from your soul, it’s memories of moments long ago, of what we considered better days. Not knowing the future, our references are slim, devoid of what we haven’t or can’t see.
By Gregory Dolan Dies5 years ago in Families
Seasons Changing
The spring I was seven the couch sat against the window in our front room. With the blinds open you could see out into the road that led to our driveway. I had been sitting there watching the road for hours, waiting for any sign that she was coming home. The house was still, it always was when my dad was this mad and my little brother was smart enough not to provoke him. There I sat, cloaked in the silence hugging that same tear-soaked blue cotton pillow I had held onto many times before. Even at that age I knew what she was doing. I knew she would not be home for days, weeks, or possibly months. If my little heart could have willed anything, it would have been her pulling up in the driveway. Maybe she had just gone out for groceries like other normal moms did. That wasn’t the case though, so I sat on that couch by the window looking out onto the street, letting my tears soak that blue cotton pillow.
By Megan Traina5 years ago in Families
Between the Flowers
Feeling the blades of grass between her fingers and the sweet kiss of a warm summer breeze on her cheeks, Rose lay surrounded by her favorite flowers. Here she was comfortable, here she was safe. Here she could forget about the world, just for a moment. This was her home, her true home. Not the brick enclosure she slept in every night. She glanced at the trees and they looked heartbreakingly back at her. I know how you feel, she thought. The heartbreak never goes away. It just dampens over time. Like watching the sun setting. As the sun is setting, it seems like the sun is taking the longest path to end her journey. Yet, you’re left wondering how and when the darkness had crept up so quickly. And the dark is so much darker than you would believe. Until the moon lights up the darkness, and you are reminded again that there is even warmth in the night.
By Krystina Quintana5 years ago in Families
Unlikely Match
Everything seemed quiet. Too quiet. I can see people around me, stopping to talk to me, but it all seemed surreal. I couldn't understand any of the conversations. As I sat there, my thoughts ran away with my memories. It was a sunny day in May, 1969. The sun shone so bright that it glinted off of the red sports car that stopped to pick me up. Jeff's green eyes shone as he stopped in front of my porch. "Are you ready, Nancy? " he called over to me. "I certainly am", I giggled. I walked over to the car as the driver leaned over and the door popped open. Jeff was as handsome as the first day I met him 3 years earlier, in freshman year. His green eyes complimented his dark curly hair and chiseled features. He had a nice smile.. genuine. I cant believe he asked me on a date. I always thought he was into all the cheerleaders and popular girls. Not me, the book worm. I smiled as I tried to hide my nervousness. Off we went.. the sun started to sink in the sky. We were going to the Italian Villa, a classy restaurant on the other side of town near the river. I have never been there but heard all the girls talk about it. We stopped in front as the valet came to the car. Jeff handed him the keys as he came around and opened my door. We went inside and Jeff told the hostess his name. She showed us to a table near the window. The white tablecloth and the lit candle made the silverware shine. It was just as I had dreamed. I looked out the window as the river flowed past carrying a family of ducks. I smiled as i watched them. Jeff saw me smile…"A penny for your thoughts", Jeff commented. "Im just watching the ducks and how they swim together, following one another. Like a real family. " Jeff smiled, too. The waiter, who introduced himself as Todd, asked if he could get us a drink. Jeff answered, " can you recommend a wine?" As Todd handed him a wine list. Todd replied, " I would recommend a nice Merlot. " Jeff told him that we would have a bottle. The wine tasted really nice. Smooth and fruity. We looked at the menu and ordered. We talked throughout dinner.. the wine helped me relax. After dinner, he drove me home and asked if he could see me again...I of course, said yes....that date turned into a second, third, fourth... engagement, wedding... Someone touched my arm. " Nancy, Father Rinaldi wants to begin the ceremony." I started to hear the drone of all the people around me... and saw the priest standing in front of a .....coffin. I looked down at my hands clutching a white hankie embroidered with blue flowers. Jeff gave me that hanky years ago on a beautiful spring day. My hands were wrinkly ... I looked at a card...Jeffrey Singer, born June 23, 1943. Died July, 17, 2019 was written on it. 50 years.... 50 years had passed since my first date with Jeff. We had a wonderful life together. 50 years.. the war when he went over seas right after high school… the separation when I wasnt sure if he would come back home, alive. 4 children, a house with a white picket fence, vacations, holidays, family... And love. .lots of love.... and now its over. But true love never dies...and to think it all started on a sunny day in May and a bottle of Merlot.
By Elaine Dembowski5 years ago in Families
Dear Dad
Writing has been therapeutic for me, but I hardly every share it. Today I am sharing a letter I wrote to my Dad a couple months ago. This letter is still relevant because at current state all that I have written is still true. Sometimes getting it out on paper is the healing action we need to move on. Please read and share any feeback.
By Sunya Guevara-Hill5 years ago in Families
My Bloody Valentine
Another mundane Monday, I thought sitting on post for my concierge style security job. Sunday was Valentine’s Day though it felt like any other. The rain began to pour as tears rolled down my face. The state of my life was wearing on me. I was frustrated and stressed to the brink. Even my plans of making love were ruined by nature. Nature that by this point was giving me a lot more than I could handle. By 7:30 the light cramps I was experiencing had beefed up to a strong ten. Assuming fresh air would remedy things I heated my coffee, went out front to have ease my mind with a a cigarette. In an instant I began soaking through pads and even my clothes. It wasn’t close enough to break time to just walk away so I filled my underwear with tissue and paper towels because by 8:30 I had soaked through all of the sanitary napkins packed for an eight hour shift. Half an hour later clots began coming out of me. In a panic I ran to the CVS and purchased super overnight maxi pads and several wipes to clean up the blood. As I walked more and more pieces came out, each one larger than the previous. None of what was taking place made any sense. I was bleeding as if were raped or sexually assaulted, neither of which were true. The rain seemed to be pouring even harder by this point. It was 10:00 pm. I called everyone from my mother to my husband, even my 18 year old. Each time I stood blood poured from my body as if I were cut. Pain shot through my body with every piece that came out. Spasm for spasm. Only I knew they were contractions by this point. My relief came at 11 and without a word me and my rainbow paneled Raincoat were out of the door. In the truck with my husband without so much as a hello, Take me to the Emergency room! I spat. What! I shouted, certain he'd asked me again. Before I could reply I pressed down to brace for another release of a very large clot. Grimacing through the spams he said nothing. With a hard turn he headed for Greater SE Hospital. Upon arrival I sat for almost an hour before being approached by registration. When they came to me it was only to inform me that the system was down and to sit tight until they can check patients in. This was only more upsetting because time was being wasted. After an hour and a half I threw in the towel and decided that Greater SE was not the way. Begrudgingly we gathered my things and drove to GW Hospital.
By Joey Renee5 years ago in Families
