Society’s reaction to my choice of leading a childless life

It’s not easy to lead a childless life. When I talk about the problems faced by young parents, I am well aware of the problems faced by childless couples as well. It’s not like we are not sacrificing anything to lead a life of our choice. But, we accept our sacrifices. My husband and I have made peace with the fact that we cannot do everything with so little time we get in a life. We have spent sleepless nights to figure out our future. This acceptance helps us to stand tall and face the consequences. But we could only wish our choices were acceptable to the people around us as well. Because we don’t want to lose them. We want them to accept us and our choices. I love these people and want to live around them.

We come across many comments on our situation, some funny, some weird, while some infuriating. While there are many, I have tried to compile most of them in the bullets below.

“Your are stupid”, say our friends. It is too abnormal a choice for them. “having kids is magical and life changing”, “life without kids is unimaginable”, “you will become a whole new person after conceiving one”, “your life is incomplete without a kid”, “kids are a gift from God, don’t reject them”, “think about the support you’ll have in future”.. we have heard it all. They often mention that we might regret it later, better be safe than sorry.

It is so simple to understand that the idea of life that people have in their head tells them to lead life in a certain way. It tells many to have kids and raise a family, while it tells a few to live the way they want it. We are not living like barbarians; we too have plans for our future. Btw, It’s not like we are here for hundreds of years. Raising a kid might be intelligent but not raising one is by no means stupid. It’s a way of life we want. We will make the most of it. We are so clear of our idea of life that we often worry we better not conceive by mistake. Well, we better be safe than sorry, right :P.

It’s a taboo. It is highly frowned upon. For acceptance and validation from the society, it is very important to get married and raise kids. People try to distance (or at least we are convinced that they do) from us more and more we are further into our marriage. People can have multiple reasons: we can be a very bad influence on their young children and ruin their life; they or their children might turn out to be sterile in our company; we secretly perform witchcraft and worship Satan; I am characterless...

So, should we have kids just to please a society which would defame you at every chance they get? I guess, we are better off following our heart.

One of us is sterile. People often think that we are hiding our inability to make babies. They wonder why aren’t we doing something about our situation. Some tell us to get ourselves tested and take some medical advice. They have varied suggestions for successfully conceiving too. While others emphasize on consulting astrologers to know if we have children in our fate. If one of us is sterile, there obviously should be some prayers to fix it. Seriously?

Honestly, I wish to take a fertility test and post them on Instagram. But my husband doesn’t want us to stoop to their level. It is impossible to satisfy people no matter what we do. He just wants us to be happy ignoring what the people say.

Family has turned rude on us. My in-laws have started to behave very rudely especially with me. They would not talk to me for days. They want my husband to leave me and marry someone else, although, my husband doesn’t want kids more than me. They want me take it to court or even get divorced if my husband is imposing on me, pretending to be on my side. They also want me to go back to my folks indefinitely to teach my husband a lesson, again pretending to take my side. My mother-in-law often tells my husband that she has suffered enough when raising 2 kids and now she wants her children to feel the pain.

We didn’t expect the things to turn against us this way. We just made plans which are good for us. We don’t intend to hurt anybody with our decisions and wish others could refrain from hurting us with their thoughts.

Feel sympathetic. Honestly, it is quite amusing how people feel sympathetic to our situation. Of all the things, ‘choices’ cannot be a candidate for sympathy. But, people will be people. They can do whatever it takes to convince us to have kids. I often see young parents struggling to handle their children and I feel sorry for them. I often feel they want us to go through the pain at core while showing us what we are missing on the crust.

We can now resonate with the people who are gay and have come out of the closet. They wish for acceptance but the society either rejects them or expects them to undergo treatment as if they are suffering from a disease. This behavior from the people is just one of the problems we face. The way we have accepted the other we are trying the accept this as well. While it is very hard, we are trying to turn deaf to their suggestions. We won’t fight for acceptance anymore. I know the worse is yet to come and we just wish to it see through.