Root

I fell asleep that night, crying as I always did. It was about 2:38 a.m...I set up and thought to myself “Now what?!”. I look at those 3 little heartbeats that depend on me to make things happen, and I break. Being a single mother isn’t easy. Being a single mother with little to no income, even harder. I cleaned my face at 3:11 a.m; I slept with defeat.

6:30 a.m sharp, “Tristan... Noah...Blaire... time to get up”. I woke up with anxiety so my heart is racing, but I calm shortly after. My sons Tristan and Noah are self sufficient. They’re a breeze in the morning, but my youngest and only daughter Blaire, she’s the tough one. During our normal routine my oldest son Tristan says, “mommy I had a dream last night.” Curious for details, I asked him to elaborate. He stated, “I can’t really remember, but I do remember I had a tree house. And grandma was in the tree house. She kept speaking of roots.” Puzzled, I asked “Roots?”. He responded “I don’t know mommy. We were playing and she said ‘yo mama need roots’ and that was it...over and over again”. As we headed towards the car, I couldn’t shake the feeling that burst in my soul about my baby’s dream. So many questions...my grandmother passed 2 years ago, what made her speak to Tristan? I could not shake the feeling.

First off day in 9 days, naturally, I’m lethargic after dropping the kids off at school. I go home, it’s quiet. I’m afraid of silence. My mind reminds me of all the things I can’t do and all of the things I haven’t done yet. It saddens me. I sat on the side of my bed, looked into my rustic orange purse, I realized, I only have $48.

Tears instantly emerged. I laid my head on the pillow my grandmother gifted me 6 days prior to her death. I could still smell her favorite perfume “White Diamond” throughout every stitching. I closed my eyes tight and I said 4 simple words “Grandma please help me”. Emotionally drained from my current state, I fall asleep. I had a dream! It was my grandmother. Could you believe at one of my lowest moments, my grandmother’s words to me were “YOU NEVER LISTEN, I been telling you to get your left ear checked. It’s ya mama fault. She microwaved some pizza when she was 4 months pregnant with you”. I laughed so hard. So genuine. So deep. And she looked at me and said “your Roots”. And left. I called out for her so loudly I woke myself. I called my mother immediately; I said mom, grandma came to me in a dream and stated, I need to go to my roots.” My mother replied “Roots? Why would she want you to go to Roots St? You haven’t been there since a little girl”. My heart dropped. I hung up the phone and I sat in silence. When I was 7 my father built me a treehouse...it was in our first home he and my mother ever purchased...on Roots St. I get in my car race 16 miles to my childhood house. It was abandoned. I parked my car, ran to the back and stood in front of my old tree house. It was in worn condition. Every nail my father hammered sprouted out of the boarded stairs, but that didn’t intimidate me from climbing up. Carefully, I finally reached the top. I look around a bit. Not much of anything left. However, the smell of the place...how nostalgic. The scent of old wood, and melted plastic from my old dolls, I missed it here. As I walk up a little further I notice a feather. It was about 6 inches long, a thunderstorm gray until the very tip, it was arctic white. Intrigued, I removed the feather and there emerged my little black book. I wrote all of my secrets in this book. I was ecstatic to see it!! After all these years! Wow! How nostalgic?! I opened it quickly, I couldn’t wait to read my 7 year old mind. Everything everyone told me not to tell someone was in this book. My mother gifted me this little black book for my 6th birthday. It was customly designed just for me. I couldn’t wait to read all that I wrote; I knew my secrets at that age were going to be hilarious. I sat for about 4 minutes just reading different pages. Then I stopped. On March 2, 1997 my grandmother told me to keep a secret that would changed my life in 23 years. I wrote “Grandma said if I ever get older and really need it check the left of the root. Whatever that means”. I stood up although my knees weakened. I got out of the treehouse and looked up. My treehouse was built in a tree with a root so big all of my cousins and I holding hands couldn’t go around it. I went to the left of the tree...I seen nothing. The wind began blowing briskly, and that same feather I found in the tree house landed perfectly on a shallow area on the ground. I heard my grandmother’s voice loud and clear “START DIGGING”. I fell to my knees paddling my hands faster than a dog. I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked, I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t move. I just screamed. I uncovered the package from the old soil. It was so dirty. Somehow, the plastic wrap survived. Ecstatic, I began ripping it open. There was a note from my grandmother “just in case one day you needed it” and $20,000.00 cash. My heart fell to my feet. I thanked the heavens, I thanked my grandmother, I felt on top of the world. I felt like for the first time in my life me and my children are going to finally make it. Finding this money so unexpectedly, I was at a lost for words. $20,000.00 isn’t much to people. But God knows, I felt like I made my first million that day. My children and I never went without again.