Real Family

Family does not have to be defined by blood, at least, that was and is the opinion of Eileen O’Shaughnessy, a mother of five children, two which were on the autism spectrum. Having been adopted herself, she never met her biological parents, and was woman that was always down on her luck financially, with her husband John never being around. He was addicted to his job and never around to help raised the five kids, leaving Eileen to bear the burden of parenthood as a solo act.

A friend to all in the neighborhood, she was never hesitant to lend a helping hand to those in need of assistance, which is where Shirley Hawks comes into play.

Shirley was a neighbor, and local banker, who lived two doors down from Eileen and instantly the two became the best of friends, as Shirley took a shining to Sean and Ryan, the two children of Eileen who were on the autism spectrum. Eileen always said Shirley was “a member of the O’Shaughnessy family, just with a different last name”. Unfortunately, while their friendship lasted quite a lengthy amount of time, 25 years in fact, it was cut drastically short. Because Shirley Hawks, after a long battle with ovarian cancer, passed away in June of 2014 peacefully in her home with her husband Reeves by her side.

The entire O’Shaughnessy family was devastated. One of Shirley’s final requests prior to her passing was for the O’Shaughnessy boys to be pallbearers at her funeral. They of course, obliged. Eileen, with a heavy heart, mustered up the gumption to give one of the eulogies in a very moving speech that brought the entire congregation to tears. From an outsiders perspective, if they had seen that eulogy, they would have thanked their lucky stars that the tissue brands Kleenex and Puffs were created prior to that day.

Unfortunately, when someone’s time on Earth passes, there is a time for grieving, and then after, an extensive cleaning out of personal effects and important belongings that were near and dear to the deceased. Three months after Shirley’s passing, her husband Reeves developed dementia and did not have the physical or mental capacity to undergo the arduous task of sorting through Shirley’s belongings. Soon after, his remaining family put him in a nursing home, leaving him to never see his home of 40 years, 129 Pawnee Court, ever again. Shirley Hawks and Reeves did not have any children. The only close family, as far as blood was concerned, that Shirley had was a niece named Jane who cared not for Shirley but looked at her as a burden to the family because of her sickness, and used Shirley’s cancer as a means to garner sympathy from her closest of friends, even though she never was fond of Shirley for no apparent reason. This meant, that the long and lengthy task of clearing out Reeves and Shirley’s 40 year home was left to be spearheaded by Eileen.

Around the exact same time, Ryan, Eileen’s youngest son and the one most affected by autism, developed a blood clot in his leg, and due to the financial hardships that the O’Shaughnessy family faced, a surgery could not be afforded, leaving Eileen to go through every avenue of social media, newspaper ads and the like, to try to gather the 15,000 dollars required for the surgery. This meant that Eileen had to both find the financial capacity to afford Ryan’s surgery, AND clean out Reeves and Shirley’s house at the same time.

An impossible task to do by herself, Eileen begged and pleaded for Shirley’s niece Jane to help her with some of the undertaking, and she reluctantly agreed to help. The first day left a lot to be desired, as Reeves unbeknownst to the outside world, had a troubling issue with hoarding, and there was an exponential amount of files, used items, old and worn out clothes, etc, all that needed to be thrown away but remained in the house and needed to be disposed of. Jane, being the unsympathetic person that she was, pushed to deal with Shirley’s clothing, and Eileen agreed, because of her love for Shirley, to do the dirty work and clean out all the effects of the hoarded house that Jane felt to repulsive to do herself. Jane, not wanting to be there, quickly “looked” through all of Shirley’s clothes and shoeboxes and placed them all in a large and disorganized pile in the corner of Reeves and Shirley’s former bedroom. “This all can be thrown out. But I have to go because I’m meeting some friends out for dinner in town”, Jane said. “Okay...thank you for your help”, Eileen said. Jane didn’t hear her say this because she rushed out of the house so quickly, leaving Eileen to do the entire job of cleaning out the house herself.

After a five minute tearful respite sitting on the mattress, Eileen, understandably so, decided to check the clothes and shoe boxes because of how laissez-faire Jane handled her end of the bargain. After two hours of sorting through the clothes and shoe boxes, Eileen finally had come to the final shoe box, a brown unassuming box with a pair of worn out sneakers inside. Underneath the sneakers, there was a black book, and inside the book there was an envelope. Eileen, assuming it was just files that needed to be thrown out, thought nothing of it, until she put her reading glasses on, and the envelope said “Eileen” on the front.

Much to her surprise, Eileen gave an under the breath “hmm”, and opened the envelope. Shock and disbelief, turned to elation, filled with happy tears and a heart racing, the heart racing of a mother who had been through the ringer, but all of a sudden received the much needed help of a guardian angel at the perfect time. Inside the envelope that was inside the little black book, was 20 thousand dollars in cash, and a note that said “Eileen, I will always cherish our friendship. I know we have a different last name, but I will always cherish the time we spent together and wherever I am right now, know that I am always here for you up here if you ever need to talk to your sister. This is for you and your kids, feel free to use it as you choose. You are and always will be my family, I love you, Shirley”.

A whirlwind of emotions went through Eileen’s mind at the time, one of which was a profound relief that she would now be able to afford the surgery to remove the blood clot from Ryan’s leg. Eileen, returned home immediately to let her children know that Ryan would be okay, and they all couldn’t believe that finally, a miracle had finally changed their fortunes and they could live together and prosper as a family, because they all knew that they had a guardian angel in their family, one that would always watch over them always and in times of trouble and hardship help them push though the difficulties.

Family: a socially recognized group that forms an emotional connection as members of a society.

If Shirley and Eileen aren’t family, regardless of blood, then I don’t know what is.