Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

Social psychologist Erich Fromm said: "Most mothers have the ability to give'milk,' but very few mothers have the ability to give'honey."

For children, "milk" is the care and companionship from the mother, and "honey" represents the correct way of education for the mother to give the child.

Because it is very difficult to cultivate children into talents only by caring.

However, in the education process, most mothers often make mistakes without realizing it.

Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

Psychologist Chen Mo said: The three major psychological problems that affect children's learning are all related to their parents!

1.

Mothers who love to disturb are easy to develop inattentive children.

I don’t know if you have ever met such a parent.

They always like to keep talking in their children's ears when they are doing things.

Take the current online class as an example. In order to let the children listen carefully, there is a type of parents who move a chair and sit next to the child and listen with the child.

Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

The starting point was good, but how did they do it?

While the children were taking lessons online, they asked: "Do you understand? Did you remember what the teacher said?"

"This sentence is very important, you can quickly write it down in your notebook!"

The teacher asked a question, why don't you follow along to answer it? "

"Hey! How many times have you told you? Your pen holding posture is wrong again."

Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

When we often complain that a child is easily distracted, dazed in class, skips reading or writing homework slowly, and makes many mistakes, have we ever noticed that he may not understand the content of the class at all, cannot understand the densely packed words on the blackboard, and lack efficient There is a problem with the way of browsing and hand-eye coordination.

The above phenomena are all related to children's visual cognition and concentration.

Professor Li Meijin once said: "Children's poor concentration is all because their parents love to interfere."

The child is listening attentively, and all his mind is devoted to learning.

At this time, his mother's nagging, exhortations, and concern were all noise, which would only interrupt his thoughts and destroy his concentration.

Not disturbing when the child is studying is the most beneficial way of education for the child to learn.

Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

2.

A mother who likes to urge is easy to develop into a drowsy child

"Get up and get up quickly, wash your face and brush your teeth, remember to comb your hair!"

"These are your clothes and your shoes. Are you listening? Get up!"

Anita is the mother of three children. In order to take care of the little ones, she, like many mothers in the world, is nagging all day long.

One day, by chance, Anita's inspiration flashed: "Why not compose the nag into a song? It must be very interesting."

Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

Unexpectedly, this move would make her popular on the Internet.

The same world, the same mother, but the nagging and urging of these mothers not only failed to speed up the baby smoothly, but also caused them to fall into the vicious circle of "the more urging, the slower".

And it will also make the child have the rebellious psychology of "the more you urge me, the slower I am, and I deliberately fight you in this way".

Once this mentality forms a habit, the child will completely lose the initiative in life and learning.

3.

Moms who like to scold are easy to raise stupid children

Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

Many mothers have a hidden personality, which is called "If you have something to say, you won't be able to say it well." You have to say anything in the opposite direction.

For example, the child fell while walking. My mother didn't ask where I fell and whether it hurts, but said: "Look, what did I say, let you go slowly and not listen, let's fall."

Or, when the child knocked over the water basin while washing his hands, the mother ran over and said, "Why are you so stupid, you can't even wash your hands"...

Every cynic and sarcasm made by mothers in life sharply hurts the child's self-esteem and self-confidence.

Psychologist Chen Mo: The three major psychological problems that affect children’s learning are all related to their parents

Under my mother's hard work over time, I slowly got used to self-denial, feeling that I can't do anything, know nothing, I am a useless, unneeded person.

Such children grow up with low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and relatively indifferent to others, because they have never been treated enthusiastically by their mothers since they were young.

Therefore, if you want to be a good mother who will affect your child's life and help your child, please start with yourself.

Let yourself have love in your heart, light in your eyes, and kindness in your deeds, and there will be a distance under your child's feet.