Pregnancy Without My Mom

Having a baby is supposed to be a time where you get to bond with your mother. You learn about pregnancy with her, what it is it like, and she can drive you crazy with all the love she'll give you during this time. My last pregnancy, I went through all the emotions, including losing my daughter without my mom. This was by far the worst thing I have every gone through. Here are the things I missed out on.

1. Telling My Mom

I got the chance to watch my husband tell his mom about the baby. We saw the excitement when we told her. I love my mother-in-law. She is not the stereotype mother-in-law that every movie portrays. She's loving and truly cares. I just wanted my mom and missed out on figuring out a way to tell her. I missed out on telling her about the new pregnancy after our loss as well. She would have been shocked, but excited once again.

2. Losing My First Pregnancy

At 22 weeks, I went into premature labor. I woke up that morning with bleeding, called the on-call doctor, and he advised us to come in. When my OB showed up to do a check, she saw I was fully dilated and there was nothing we could do to stop my labor. This was terrifying. We called family to be with us, and one person was missing. My mom. As labor progressed and we just waited, I wanted my mom. When you're sick, she's the person who is there to take care of you. Well, I wasn't just sick, I was in pain and absolutely devastated.

3. Having Questions Answered

Every first time mom has a ton of questions. Yes, you always go to your doctor. But sometimes, you want your mom to answer some questions. Especially the ones that sound mundane. I wanted to know what cravings she had when she was pregnant with me. Did she use pain medicine with either delivery? Did her back and hips hurt? I wanted to know as much as possible. I unfortunately did not get those questions answered and that made me extremely sad.

4. The Baby Shower

My mom missed out on the baby shower. There were more questions for games during the baby shower that I needed answered. I had to go off of the few things I knew about myself as a child. I did not know my favorite food, or when I got to try baby food. We had to add some things that are true about me now, and things I did as a child as well. She also did not get to be part of that special day. The baby shower is special day for the parents, but also the grandparents. Especially first-time grandparents. She would have wanted to be part of the day.

5. My Cerclage

This one is specific to me. But my cerclage was the first time I have ever been inside an operating room. To me, this was a big deal. Another situation where I just wanted my mom to be there. I was terrified! Not only was I going to be in an OR, but I was going to be awake during the procedure. Having a needle placed in my back is a scary thing. She was there through all my sister's surgeries and tests, I wanted her to be there with me during this. My husband and mother-in-law were great stand-ins, but again, when you are hurt or sick, you want your mom there. I don't care that I'm a 30-year-old woman and I was scared.