Pregnancy pains

Years ago I was in my house and didn’t feel well at all. I was throwing up and using number 2 at same time. I know gross right ?Sorry for the details but this is what made me realize I had to go to hospital immediately. Once I am there I tell them my symptoms they do a sonogram and tell me I have a cyst on my left ovary that is bigger than the ovary and it is causing it to turn and flip around. I needed emergency surgery. I was so scared as I lay on the cold table I fall asleep. What felt like minutes later I wake up in recovery room. A doctor comes in and explains they had to remove the whole left ovary because it was too damaged and it’s a chance I can not have kids. This single event lead up to my future decisions that would change my life forever.

I recover and get released I am prescribed pain pills for about a month after. These pills really helped me be able to function without them I would be in excruciating pain. After I got my staples removed the doctor told me that she can’t prescribe me them anymore. Being that I felt I couldn’t function without them I plead and tell her it still hurts because honestly it did . She says ok she can give me one more supply and that’s it. Long story short they ran out and so did I. I ran out house to find some! After months of doing these pills I quit because I picked up new bad habits . Let’s just say it’s not legal to do and it’s like snow. I would do this drug and go gamble. I hate to admit this but this is the reason why I lost everything. I got behind on my rent and got evicted . I still didn’t quit! I lived house to house and became so depressed my habit only got worse. Once I hit rock bottom I prayed and saved up $900 to get away from everything and start over .

I indeed started over I got on a greyhound with clothes on my back and a laptop . I told myself I am better than this and I will do something with my life. I get to my destination and break down because I left everything behind and was scared for my future. I had no kids only myself so I thought that I could become something great. My freelance graphic design company was doing well and being clean I was finally able to have money in my pocket. The man I was staying with was older and let me stay in extra bedroom. I stayed in that room and came up with 4 business plans and looked for house’s everyday. I even started to loose weight from meal prepping and exercise. Everything was going great until one day the man tells me he is getting married and I have to go! He said he will buy me a ticket back home if I want. I say NO just pay for hotel I’m not going back because going back is giving up.

I go on Craigslist and find a room for rent for $400 month. I move in and it’s stressful living with strangers. Especially loud obnoxious dirty Roomates. Despite that I stay focused on business and eventually relocate to another room where I would be more comfortable. My male friend comes over to keep me company at night . We became intimate and he would always say I’m going to get you pregnant! I would say I can’t get pregnant.

We’ll long story short we ended our relationship and I don’t talk to him for about two weeks. One day I am in bathroom and don’t feel right I am bleeding even though it’s not time of the month. I go to hospital because I’m thinking it’s gotta be my right ovary or something of that sort. I’m in this hospital for hours getting bloodwork and peeing in cup. The doctor walks in and tells me I am pregnant! And this is the moment my life forever would change.

I start crying I call my best friend to tell her news she thinks I’m joking because I always joke about it due to the fact I never intended or thought I could get pregnant. I call my mom she is happy for me. I became worried due to my life not being all the way together but im also happy.

In 9 months I get a car get a house furnish it purchase all items needed for baby. I don’t out it’s a girl so I think of names . The whole pregnancy was rough I was emotional and sick everyday. I couldn’t keep food down whatesoever my ankles were swollen and face broke out with acne.

I go to doctors for my 8 month checkup. They tell me my blood pressure is very high it’s time to induce. I do everything they tell me to I could not dialate. My blood pressure was so high I had to get c section. The medicine they gave me wasn’t numbing me so I had to be put to sleep. I wake up and they bring my baby in. Covered in a hospital blanket and hat I ask my mom “whose baby is That” due to me watching lifetime my whole pregnancy I wanted to be sure they didn’t switch my baby at birth ! But once in my arms I knew she was mine. All my childish ways went out the door. My past disappeared I was reborn in a way. I will do anything to protect her and at the age of 33 I am still having growing pains. Everyday this baby teaches me about life about myself about true love. She changed me all I want is to be the best mother in world for her. She is my light. My life was meaningless before her. She made me into woman I am today and I will continue to grow!