Pregnancy

Hello, to anyone reading this I am very new to it. However I thought I'd give it a go and find out how many others might be feeling the same way or my story could even give comfort knowing there are others out there that are going through the same thing.

Let's start.

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant, somehow still finding it hard to really believe even though my belly is definitely showing by now. The little kicks and nudges are a constant reminder that she is sitting there hopefully happy as a clam. My partner and I found out we were expecting back in March 2020. It definitely was a surprise when it happened as we weren't expecting to fall pregnant so soon! So keep that in mind ladies that are trying, sometimes it happens a lot sooner then expected!

The emotions that went with this little surprise were conflicted. Happy yet fearful that we were setting out on this journey of starting a family. Then everything started happening fast, the doctor visits, the midwife appointments and telling the family. My partner's mum was by far the most excited one out of everyone when hearing the news. First time grandmother and she really can't wait. I'd hate to say I think she was even more excited at the news then I was.

This will be easy!

First trimester came and it flew by, I didn't get any morning sickness which I am very thankful for! On top of that the buying of baby things started and it really helped me get more excited for the little one that was coming in January 2021. At this stage I was working full time and studying full time, guess I had a lot on my plate! Just like that it seemed like the first trimester came and went by in the blink of an eye and next thing I knew I was finding out the gender of the baby.

Gender

We paid for a blood test called the Non-Invasive Prenatal Test (NIPT) which cost about $495, it showed gender as well if the baby had a chance of having down syndrome. All results came back fine which was a huge relief to know as I have an uncle with Down Syndrome and the thought was in the back of my mind. I was hoping for a little boy for my first, but the gender came back as a girl. Disappointment came with the news and I hated myself a little because I was disappointed. All I did was keep reminding myself the plus sides of having a girl, on top of the fact everyone seems to say that girls are easier then boys. I have now started getting more excited that she is in fact a girl and I'm trying to role with the punches both physically and figuratively as she is a little kick boxer somedays!

Second Trimester

I was at the stage in my pregnancy where I was starting to get some energy back thankfully! However I had to focus on what I was going to do with work and how to organise maternity leave which was tricky. My company didn't offer a lot of paid maternity leave unfortunately, it was either 1.5 months at full pay or 3 months at half pay and I wasn't on a lot per hour so this decision was really difficult. Then the new concerns started drifting in of how much time should I take off work and what we could afford to get by on. This still causes me stress even now that the maternity leave has started. The second trimester also brought this fun experience of crying over random things. I remember crying because I couldn't iron a jacket properly, now let me tell you that was a fun day! Her kicks started becoming a lot more noticeable to the point my partner was starting to even feel them. It was something else when that happened yet he still said "it doesn't feel real yet." I guess it's harder for some men to really accept it until the baby is right there in front of them crying, needing attention. For us we feel the kicks all the other little movements as well so it's easier to come to realise what's going on. Then the emotions really kick in and I have to say some days are really hard. You go through stages of being excited for the arrival to being terrified. I don't know about others but I had to say when that terrified feeling really kicked in I started to wander if I was making the right choice of being a mother. Whether I would make a good mother or if I was making a mistake and I was going to be a bad mum. This fear surfaced quite a bit over the next few weeks.

That's all for now I think otherwise this post will go on forever. Come back to read my next one about third trimester and how that's going! Thank-you so much to anyone that read my first post! I really appreciate it!