"Paper Dolls"

Dorothy "Dot" Willis, my grandmother, was born on March 9th, 1931 in Maryland to two parents as one of seven children. With 2 sisters and 4 brothers, she was introduced to the world amongst a very large loving family, sort of like that of my own. She was immensely fair skinned, slim, and average height in stature, and was just like you and me, except she had a little something extra undeniably special about her.

As a young lady, she went to elementary school like everyone else where she would laugh and learn and play, until she developed polio in one of her legs, consequently causing one leg to be visibly slightly smaller than the other. None of which deterred her from being all of who she was of course, because she was superwoman even at that age. It presented itself to be what was merely a hiccup or a bump in the road in the grand scheme of things.

Shortly after her diagnosis, my grandmother moved to Pennsylvania along with her parents and all of her siblings in search of what would be a fresh start for their family. Dorothy, now in middle school, was on her way to finishing 8th grade when she found out she would need to come out of school to work to help provide for her family. And to think that life couldn't throw anything else at her, she was hit in the eye with a snowball that had a shard of glass inside of it that caused her to go partially blind shortly after.

With every reason to not go on, watching all of her peers continue on into high school, prom, graduate, and beyond, she took it upon herself to prioritize her family's wellbeing in a display of sacrifice, partially blind, with polio and figuring out how to provide for her family in the midst of her own challenges. She proved herself to be the definition of persistent throughout all of these life events and became the image of what was possible if you make the decision to just continue on. Even if it was not for your own self, but for that of the next generation to come.

So that she did. She went on; on to work and to have seven children of her own. One of them being my mother Bernadette Mills, the youngest of the seven of her children. My grandmother gave birth to my mother in the projects of Chester, Pennsylvania. They lived in a two bedroom townhome with a corner lot, driveway, front and backyard, however it was an area considered public housing. Three children in one bedroom was what they knew until my mother graduated from high school.

Rest assured, none of those circumstances prohibited my grandmother from giving my mother and her siblings an immensely remarkable upbringing. By herself, she did the best she could to raise her children. She couldn't drive, but she never missed an event for any of them in school to date. She volunteered as a chaperone on every school trip, and was at every single concert, game, ceremony, and celebration for her children to ensure they never once questioned that they were fully supported. She was the epitome of a present parent. She made it her personal business to expose all of her children to everything that she did not have access to. Out of the projects, my mother and all of her siblings took swimming lessons, were enrolled in math, science and engineering summer camps every summer, were girl scouts, participated in almost every after school program or sport available, and found in those moments that the perspective of the world around them was not subject to that of where they were positioned temporarily as they were placed.

My grand mother valued structure, discipline, and order. With that being said, there was an overarching theme of routine around the clock both throughout the day and throughout the week. All of my mother's siblings will tell you that every Monday through Friday they woke up, got ready for school, came home from school, were required to finish their homework immediately before going outside to play, and were to be inside as soon as the street lights went off. They all had perfect attendance in school because they knew my grandmother's value of education as she knew that it was what would be their ticket out of the projects. She required it. On Friday when they returned home from school and everyone was finished their homework, she took them all to Booth Corners giving them all 25 cents to purchase a new book and a new book only to read throughout the week until the next Friday. Sunday morning church service was mandatory as well. Whatever they did on Saturday had to be finished with in time to get ready to go to bed in time for church in the morning.

Sunday evening ended with my mother and her mom watching black and white Cary Grant TV Shows before she went to bed, while she played with the paper dolls my grandmother would purchase for her. Paper dolls were doll shaped pieces of paper that came with a multitude of different outfits; outfits of a plethora of interchangeable occupations to be exact. This communicated the vast opportunities she understood my mother to have, all while having her watch a TV show that showed her a high luxury life that they both knew was achievable. In her heart, my grandmother knew that it was her goal to get her children leaps and bounds past what she had achieved for herself, and she did everything in her power to condition them to think higher. With an eighth grade education, she had the ability to catapult an entire generation of children into a life she never had for her own self. To this day, her consistent act of selflessness to wake up everyday and make it her business to give her children more than she ever had for herself, giving them access to more than she experienced for herself, and requiring them to outdo her created the world I live in today.

This level of discipline, requirement of well-rounded academic involvement, and consistent standard for her children is what wired my mother to receive the President's Scholarship to Temple University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. In high school, my mother, Bernadette, was the high school cheerleading captain for two years, honors academics, was apart of dance, worked in the administrators office, was apart of the drafting and design program in engineering, took college prep courses. Because of this, she was the top candidate for the President's Scholarship to Temple in pursuit of her Bachelor's degree in Business Education.

It was here that my mom would begin a journey of her own that would forever change the trajectory of what life looked like not only for my grandmother, or herself, but for me. She went on to graduate and was immediately hired by the University based off of her impact, reputation and accomplishments while she was there. From there, she went on to work for a multitude of educational institutes. My mother worked at the College of Arts and Sciences at the University of Pennsylvania, the Career Planning and Placement at the University of Pennsylvania, and as the Educational Counselor at Delaware County Community to develop programming for First Generation students to ensure that she could impact students just like herself equipping them with the resources, knowledge and opportunities that she knew they too deserved to have access to.

After completing college, she married my father, who she first came in contact with when they both were in the second grade. My dad will tell you he knew he wanted to marry her then. They went to the same high school as well and he wanted to marry her in college, but she wanted to finish school first. So that they did, after she graduated from Temple in 1989, she married my father in 1991 who came out of the navy and became a full time pastor. Consequently, she went into ministry with him full time, and left her full time job to do so. My grandmother at this time, would now be completely blind and had dementia when I met her.

They both went on to now develop a church that more than a total of 400 people attend virtually online and in person. They've traveled all over the country doing missionary work from Nigeria, to the Philippines, to London, to the Bahamas, to Korea, Jamaica, and a plethora of other locations. Not to mention the fact that they are both published authors and business owners in their own right. My mother owns a consulting practice; my father owns a counseling and life coach practice, while spearheading their own individual organizations to impact the community.

Did I mention they do all this with five children?

Yes, I, Noa Mills, am one of five children, all about a year and a half apart. We all live in a beautiful five bedroom home in the suburbs of Delaware.

Not too shabby for the girl who lived in the projects with a single mother with seven kids, and three children to one bedroom, huh?

My grandmother's impact created a way for my mother to be remarkable and understanding of endless opportunity. My mom has undeniably done just the same along with giving me a head start. I'll never know what it's like to live three people to a bedroom, or to want for anything at all for that matter. My mother's mother didn't drive, and there are five cars outside when I look out into my driveway today. My mother slept in the same room as two of her sisters, and the only time me and my sisters sleep in the same room is when we want to because we really are each others closest friends. My parents pay out of pocket for all five of our education and scholarship or not, the opportunity of college was available to all of us without question. They have given me a life that would categorize me a privileged without a doubt and I know that I'm extremely blessed because of my parents hard work, and that the comfortable life I live is because of the dedication and intentional prioritization of my life on their behalf. There is not a day that goes by that I don't both understand and immensely appreciate that.

Like my mother's mother, we too were introduced to the value of education and routine at a very early age. We grew up in Delaware, in a beautiful community. When we returned home from school, we too had to immediately do our homework before anything else. We too, like our mother were involved in everything available. Ballet, tap, jazz, tennis, basketball, french club, honors society, gymnastics, band, choir, volleyball cheerleading, science and engineering summer camps; you name it, we were apart of it. Our mother used everything her mother gave her and instilled the very same with us, while giving us an extreme head start. We read books in the summer given to us by our parents, and were paid a small allowance for every time we did a book report on a book of our parents choice outside of what we were assigned at school. Friday was family night up until we all finished middle school, and it wasn't an option to attend the designated family event for the evening. Whether it was bowling, skating, going to the movies or playing a game together, our parents took it upon themselves to create a bond within our family that was close knit. To this day, we all live under one roof, loving every minute of it.

Sunday, as you could imagine, is still mandatory church attendance, but it feels voluntary now because we enjoy it so much, much like any other day that we are all together. I find myself to be in a very privileged space, and extremely fortunate to have the family dynamic that I do. Because my mother didn't grow up with two parents in the home, she made sure she did just that for us. Like her mother, she was at every event, ceremony, or competition we've ever had, along with my father. They were always home when I left for school and always home when I came home, ready to be the best parents any child could possibly wish for. They personified care, support, and unconditional love for as long as I could remember, and they've been an exemplary standard of what I want to be to my children in the future when I do decide to have them. Because of my parents love and care for me and all of my siblings, I too wish to have a large loving close knit family and hope to emulate the example they've been to me to my legacy.

I got lucky, and I am still very lucky.

I am lucky to have had two entrepreneur parents that showed me, just like my grandmother showed my mother, that anything with hard work is attainable. Anything at all. Anything you desire you can have, and most importantly that the distance you go, along with what you are capable of is not determined by circumstance, external opinion or statistic, but by the understanding of capacity of self.

Today, at twenty two years old I write before you as a well traveled business owner in advocacy of gifted and abstract teachers on the basis of reconstructing the educational system to better suit and provide students with personal tailored resources to fit their learning styles. I also write to you today at 22, as a published author, a student, a sister, a friend, a young woman, and a daughter of a daughter who had a mother who simply believed that nothing was too great to achieve.

I intend to take everything that my mother has taught me and implement it into the lives of my children so that they can do just the same.

My mother is the epitome of remarkable across the board, just like her mother. She is self-motivated, extremely intelligent, and an example of what I would one day love to be. She is powerful, yet graceful. The definition of multifaceted, independent and community oriented. She's that mom that is everyone's mom, and I don't mind sharing her with others. It's communal knowledge that my mother will make herself available to those in need whether she knows them or not. Regardless, she finds a way to be of service to others the way her mother was. Tenacious, loving, fun, and all things good, I truly am more than honored to be not only her daughter, but apart of her bloodline. There's a well known phrase that states that no one is perfect, but I would argue with anyone that my mother is the closest thing, not because of what she does, but simply because of who she is, her journey, and the size of her heart that has not only impacted my own life but also hundreds of others. Because of her, I am proud. Proud to be apart of her legacy and proud to have been passed the baton to continue it.

I intend to do so with great pride.

If I grow up to be just half of what my mother is today, I'll be more than satisfied and have done my duty to the world around me, as her impact not only in my life and others has sparked a never ending light that I plan to carry with me for as long as I live.

In Loving Memory of My Grandmother Dorothy "Dot" Willis, thank you for gifting me my mother, Bernadette, a gift that I could never repay you for.

Noa.